Hello again everyone.

I know it’s been a long time since I last wrote anything. I also know that I should be writing something that’s well-worth reading as some sort of a “welcome back” post.

But please, please allow me to rant just this once. Maybe just for the next few minutes.

You see, I am now crying.

I am crying because this is the first time I got the courage to type in “www.thammiesy.com” again and see a different look, one that’s not yet fully developed. This is my first time to log in again, and see that I now only have 43 posts and 3 comments because everything else has been wiped out.

I am left with no choice but to officially say goodbye to the 200 something posts that have been lost due to Philhosting’s….what do you call it– incompetence? Negligence? I don’t know, really, because I don’t even know what  happened.

I am not that well-versed when it comes to world-wide web matters. All I know is I trusted this hosting company to run my website and then one day, it just disappears. Apparently, Philhosting just shut down my website. Just like that.

I wrote to ask them to fix whatever they needed to, and their reply was that they would see what had to be done. The next day, I got an email informing me that they couldn’t fix the problem and that the best they could do was give me another domain to host my site. To which I’d like to say, “Thank you”, but… I don’t want another domain. I want my posts back!

I again wrote back to ask them to please recover my files, but they told me they had no back up whatsoever, plus a defense that they had informed me about the “shut down” days earlier.

I never got an email from them days earlier.

All this happened three weeks ago. Quite a number of people have asked me why I haven’t been posting anything lately, why they couldn’t enter my site. Most assumed that it was because I have been busy with our house-move (which I have been, but that’s not why at all!). All I could tell them was “Please pray they could fix whatever is wrong. Please pray that my blogs are still in tact.” And for the past two weeks that has been one of my prayers.

My well-meaning husband tried to encourage me by saying “Ga, if worse comes to worst, at least you get a totally new look for your site.”

But really, now….???….

I explained to him that all my previous posts were more than just “blogs for the heck of having blogs”. They were more than just posts to check in and make sure people were still visiting my site. Every minute that I spent writing, was also spent pouring out my heart and soul. Every word written was supposed to help me keep precious memories with my family and with my God fresh and alive. Every attempt to add insight was me discovering valuable principles that I needed to apply; me learning important lessons that I wanted to pass on to my children, too.

Funny. A few days ago I was being sentimental and told Dennis, “Ga, that was my legacy. Now it’s gone.” He just looked at me and said, “Uh….love, ang bata mo pa. Ang dami mo pang pwedeng iwan na legacy.”

Hehe. Well, He’s right. I am not that old and I still have much to learn. There are so many more memories I can build and still so much wisdom to be gained from future experiences.

I will not let this stop me from learning and sharing what I learn. I will not let this stop me from building relationships with all you beautiful women and sharing my life with all of you.

God can and will restore what was lost a thousandfold. 

See? This is what writing does to me. It helps me process things. And it is during these times when my brain and my heart agree to cooperate with each other and help me get over myself and remember to look to God and His plans and purposes.

So, yes. I am now (as in, NOW—right this minute!) able to stop crying. Hopefully, I can log in again tomorrow and not be sad anymore.

God allowed this to happen, so be it. All this, after all, has always been and will always be for His pleasure and for His glory. My life, and whatever legacy I would leave in the future will always be about Him and about serving His purposes.

So be it.

What’s done is done. Let’s have a go at this thing again.

See you!

PS: Thank you, my love and best friend Dennis Sy, for your attempts to recover whatever could be recovered and for setting up a new site for me. I appreciate all your effort, even if sometimes you say the wrong things with the best intentions. Hehehe I know you’ve been praying for me, that I won’t get that emotional and sad. I think your prayers worked….a little.

PPS: Thank you Mia, for teaching us to check the cached files in Google. Now I know what “cached” means…I think.

PPPS: (Is this a valid PS?) TO ALL MY BLOGGER FRIENDS: Please make sure to copy-paste all your posts and have your own back up!

(Shucks. Now I have to open Word more often. My brain doesn’t like Word very much— brings back memories of toxic college days of papers and deadlines. Oh well. )