My husband Dennis Sy shares his workout regimen. For the first time we are revealing our secrets.

I met up with some other wives and moms this morning and each one just talked about their love story. It’s still February, so I guess you can still say that we did this as part of the celebration of the love month. Anyway, listening to these women tell their love stories was so amusing because you can see their eyes begin to sparkle, and their faces begin to glow as their smiles get wider and wider from the wonderful memories.

These were some of the things I was reminded of as we listened and laughed at our stories:

1. I should pray that we would never lose that sparkle and glow when it comes to our marriages and each time we talk about our marriages.

2. Though memories of the past are good things to hold on to, we should not just live on the glory of those past memories. Each day is an opportunity to create new ones.

3. We should try to always remember the things that attracted us to our spouses in the first place. As we become more and more familiar with each other, it becomes easier and easier to just notice the things that fall short of our standards or that irritate us. What it this way when we were still in courtship?

4. So much of what attracted me to my husband wasn’t just the physical traits, but more of how his heart was more passionate for God  more than anything else. This is a good thing, because physical attraction would never be enough to sustain a marriage. Sooner or later, all the physical traits that attracted us to our spouses will change and fade away; what will remain and improve as time goes by is his heart for God, and his character that gets developed as he grows in his relationship with God. I have to pray that  my husband’s heart will always be passionate for God above all.

5. Our love story doesn’t end once we say our “I do’s” at the altar. We have to be deliberate in building on our love story until death do us part.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to comprehend why you came here for us. It’s one of the things I won’t even try to wrap my mind around anymore. I just know that because of what you did, I am now free…and I am now living life to the full. My entire lifetime will not be enough to say THANK YOU JESUS, but good thing there’s eternity for that… I love you!!!!

Merry Christmas to all!

I was trying to make sense of my schedule tonight. Without realizing it, I have been saying yes to people and yes to a lot of responsibilities since the beginning of this year (or has it been this way for a number of years now??), more than what is necessary. It’s so much easier to say yes, isn’t it?? I don’t have to feel bad for turning down some people or some tasks….as long as I say yes. Of course, it is also such a joy to spend time with people and to build relationship with them. My love language is time, so any invitation to hang out is difficult for me to say no to– especially when there’s food involved (correction: my love language is time AND food). Almost always, I am more than willing to spend my time doing things that I love, for people that I love (or I’d love to get to know and love)…and forget about how much time I can actually afford to give them. For example, I’d set an appointment with someone and tell that person I can meet her for an hour. An hour would pass, then two, then three..and I still would not be able to find it in me to tell that person that I have to go and do something else. I tell myself that I’d just adjust the rest of my schedule and try to offset whatever time was  ”lost” by waking up extra extra early or sleeping extra extra late. Of course we all know that this would domino down to the household duties, parenting duties, wife duties….and all other areas we still need to take care of. This happens with all other chores too. I love taking care of the home, so much so that I don’t mind not sleeping just to finish whatever task I am preoccupied with.

If I just look at things superficially, everything actually looks fine. It is good that I spend time with people. It is good that I make sure the house is orderly. It is good that I am with the kids practically everyday. It is good that I can do ministry stuff that I so love, in support of my husband’s work. It is good that my nights are more or less set to be with Dennis. It all looks good.

“Looks” good.

But I just know I need to do some tweaking. I feel I am spreading myself too thin, compromising whatever BEST I can actually give to my family.

So tonight I listed down everything that I have on my plate (I wonder why this sentence makes me want to go out and grab something to eat??). I ended up overwhelmed, having a whole web of words on my notebook! I actually had to solicit Dennis’ help, since he is my schedule-and-strategy go-to guy. He helped—–a bit. He was able to get two things off my plate, but that was about it. His conclusion was: “There’s really not much you can do about your responsibilities, except put a specific time for each of those names/tasks…or to put a specific name to your time.”

Gee. Thanks a lot. :I

No, really… Thanks a lot. Put a name to your time— I hate to be legalistic with my time, but this may be what I need to focus on in the next couple of months or so…get used to putting a name to my time, and not let another name take over.

Hmm….there’s a word for this……

Is it DISCIPLINE??

Ah. Don’t we all love this word?

Anyway, as I was attempting to make sense of my days, I began to wonder how I made it last year with everything that went on. It was by far the most unstable year for us and I could not even figure out how we managed to get by. Then I remembered my other mom-friends who have to work aside from having to fulfill their tasks at home. Then I thought of my other mom-friends who have a lot more kids than me, and also minister to a gazillion number of people.

I could only conclude one thing from tonight’s thought-processing: The only way for me to have had managed the way I did so far has been by grace, and that’s how I will continue to manage. The only way that all my other mom-friends (both working and stay-at-home) are making it is by grace. As my friend Belle would put it, “Best friend natin si Grace” (“Grace is our best friend.”).

I pray for all of you, mom-friends– both “working” in and out of the home, that grace will be your best friend.

That our definition of getting by is not just being able to manage for purposes of survival, but being able to manage with much joy… and our sanity well in tact, too. I pray that this week, we will be able to say no to the things that are really not a matter of life and death, and say yes only to the things that God calls us to do.

To summarize: Let us make this week Project Plato. For me, this would entail unloading some things off my plate, which God is not really telling me to do, and also– literally unloading my plate…. each time I eat.

We can do this!!!!

I was having dinner with my cousins a few nights ago and one of them mentioned a term that was new to me — tiangge advice.

Wha–?? Huh??

Tiangge advice– according to my cousin’s definition, this pertains to advice we often hear that seem so profound and well thought of, yet if you really think about it, are actually worthless. It’s the term for the kind of advice that people just give for the sake of having something to say, or perhaps for the sake of sounding like they do have something good to say. One would think that he/she has just received some valuable insight, when in actuality, what he/she got was far from having real value. Sadly, this is the kind that we usually receive from most of our well-meaning friends and relatives. Even sadder is most of the time, we just realize that they are not really sound advice only after we have followed them and gotten hurt from doing so.

The reality is that we live in a world that is sold out on tiangge advice.

“Just follow your heart.”

“The heart knows not where it wants to go, but in the end it will lead you to where you need to go.” (haha! I just totally made this up! So tiangge!)

“Kung nagkasala ka na rin, panindigan mo na. Tuloy mo na. Anjan na eh.”

“When love is not madness, it is not love.”

“As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s okay to do as you please…”

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

These all sound wise and deep, and sometimes even noble. But the last time I checked, the world is full of hurting people who followed these words of wisdom.

I have to admit, these tiangge advice are really phrased well. I can’t blame the people who end up following them. I mean, if I hadn’t known any better, I myself would not just be following, but I’d be giving out the same kind of advice! This makes me scared… What about my kids?? what kind of advice will they be hearing and receiving years from now? Ukay advice?? The idea of this happening is not so unlikely you know, and when that happens, what then?? Will my kids be ready to discern what is right and what is wrong? Will they be able to tell the difference from what sounds right and what sounds good from what is right and what is good? Will they be able to give a counter-offer of real quality, valuable, and time-tested advice?

I hope so. I pray to God that they will be able to.

One thing we can count on is that that kind of wisdom and discernment wouldn’t come from thin air. Nor will it come from some built-in intuition, and especially not from the world that’s surrounding them (we’ve established that the world is full of tiangge advice right??). No, if we want our children to have the wisdom and the ability to discern and even give sound advice, we have to be deliberate in teaching them Biblical advice. We have to make the effort to teach them what the Bible has to say about all the many different issues they face or will face. They have to know that the Bible is the final authority in all matters of life. They have to understand how God’s Word translates to their daily concerns, and appreciate how relevant it is in their lives.

“Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful….” Joshua 1:8

“Teach to your children , talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up…” Deuteronomy 11:19

“Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…” Psalm 119:105

“All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” 2 Timothy 3:16

If we are faithful to do this, then once our children start hearing tiangge advice, they would know better. They won’t just buy in to whatever is being handed to them. More than that, they’d be ready to offer the kind of advice that the world really needs to hear.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov. 4:23

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…” 2 Cor. 5:18

“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Cor. 6:19-20

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Cor. 13:11