I don’t think I’ll ever be able to comprehend why you came here for us. It’s one of the things I won’t even try to wrap my mind around anymore. I just know that because of what you did, I am now free…and I am now living life to the full. My entire lifetime will not be enough to say THANK YOU JESUS, but good thing there’s eternity for that… I love you!!!!
I was trying to make sense of my schedule tonight. Without realizing it, I have been saying yes to people and yes to a lot of responsibilities since the beginning of this year (or has it been this way for a number of years now??), more than what is necessary. It’s so much easier to say yes, isn’t it?? I don’t have to feel bad for turning down some people or some tasks….as long as I say yes. Of course, it is also such a joy to spend time with people and to build relationship with them. My love language is time, so any invitation to hang out is difficult for me to say no to– especially when there’s food involved (correction: my love language is time AND food). Almost always, I am more than willing to spend my time doing things that I love, for people that I love (or I’d love to get to know and love)…and forget about how much time I can actually afford to give them. For example, I’d set an appointment with someone and tell that person I can meet her for an hour. An hour would pass, then two, then three..and I still would not be able to find it in me to tell that person that I have to go and do something else. I tell myself that I’d just adjust the rest of my schedule and try to offset whatever time was ”lost” by waking up extra extra early or sleeping extra extra late. Of course we all know that this would domino down to the household duties, parenting duties, wife duties….and all other areas we still need to take care of. This happens with all other chores too. I love taking care of the home, so much so that I don’t mind not sleeping just to finish whatever task I am preoccupied with.
If I just look at things superficially, everything actually looks fine. It is good that I spend time with people. It is good that I make sure the house is orderly. It is good that I am with the kids practically everyday. It is good that I can do ministry stuff that I so love, in support of my husband’s work. It is good that my nights are more or less set to be with Dennis. It all looks good.
“Looks” good.
But I just know I need to do some tweaking. I feel I am spreading myself too thin, compromising whatever BEST I can actually give to my family.
So tonight I listed down everything that I have on my plate (I wonder why this sentence makes me want to go out and grab something to eat??). I ended up overwhelmed, having a whole web of words on my notebook! I actually had to solicit Dennis’ help, since he is my schedule-and-strategy go-to guy. He helped—–a bit. He was able to get two things off my plate, but that was about it. His conclusion was: “There’s really not much you can do about your responsibilities, except put a specific time for each of those names/tasks…or to put a specific name to your time.”
Gee. Thanks a lot. :I
No, really… Thanks a lot. Put a name to your time— I hate to be legalistic with my time, but this may be what I need to focus on in the next couple of months or so…get used to putting a name to my time, and not let another name take over.
Hmm….there’s a word for this……
Is it DISCIPLINE??
Ah. Don’t we all love this word?
Anyway, as I was attempting to make sense of my days, I began to wonder how I made it last year with everything that went on. It was by far the most unstable year for us and I could not even figure out how we managed to get by. Then I remembered my other mom-friends who have to work aside from having to fulfill their tasks at home. Then I thought of my other mom-friends who have a lot more kids than me, and also minister to a gazillion number of people.
I could only conclude one thing from tonight’s thought-processing: The only way for me to have had managed the way I did so far has been by grace, and that’s how I will continue to manage. The only way that all my other mom-friends (both working and stay-at-home) are making it is by grace. As my friend Belle would put it, “Best friend natin si Grace” (“Grace is our best friend.”).
I pray for all of you, mom-friends– both “working” in and out of the home, that grace will be your best friend.
That our definition of getting by is not just being able to manage for purposes of survival, but being able to manage with much joy… and our sanity well in tact, too. I pray that this week, we will be able to say no to the things that are really not a matter of life and death, and say yes only to the things that God calls us to do.
To summarize: Let us make this week Project Plato. For me, this would entail unloading some things off my plate, which God is not really telling me to do, and also– literally unloading my plate…. each time I eat.
I was having dinner with my cousins a few nights ago and one of them mentioned a term that was new to me — tiangge advice.
Wha–?? Huh??
Tiangge advice– according to my cousin’s definition, this pertains to advice we often hear that seem so profound and well thought of, yet if you really think about it, are actually worthless. It’s the term for the kind of advice that people just give for the sake of having something to say, or perhaps for the sake of sounding like they do have something good to say. One would think that he/she has just received some valuable insight, when in actuality, what he/she got was far from having real value. Sadly, this is the kind that we usually receive from most of our well-meaning friends and relatives. Even sadder is most of the time, we just realize that they are not really sound advice only after we have followed them and gotten hurt from doing so.
The reality is that we live in a world that is sold out on tiangge advice.
“Just follow your heart.”
“The heart knows not where it wants to go, but in the end it will lead you to where you need to go.” (haha! I just totally made this up! So tiangge!)
“Kung nagkasala ka na rin, panindigan mo na. Tuloy mo na. Anjan na eh.”
“When love is not madness, it is not love.”
“As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s okay to do as you please…”
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”
These all sound wise and deep, and sometimes even noble. But the last time I checked, the world is full of hurting people who followed these words of wisdom.
I have to admit, these tiangge advice are really phrased well. I can’t blame the people who end up following them. I mean, if I hadn’t known any better, I myself would not just be following, but I’d be giving out the same kind of advice! This makes me scared… What about my kids?? what kind of advice will they be hearing and receiving years from now? Ukay advice?? The idea of this happening is not so unlikely you know, and when that happens, what then?? Will my kids be ready to discern what is right and what is wrong? Will they be able to tell the difference from what sounds right and what sounds good from what is right and what is good? Will they be able to give a counter-offer of real quality, valuable, and time-tested advice?
I hope so. I pray to God that they will be able to.
One thing we can count on is that that kind of wisdom and discernment wouldn’t come from thin air. Nor will it come from some built-in intuition, and especially not from the world that’s surrounding them (we’ve established that the world is full of tiangge advice right??). No, if we want our children to have the wisdom and the ability to discern and even give sound advice, we have to be deliberate in teaching them Biblical advice. We have to make the effort to teach them what the Bible has to say about all the many different issues they face or will face. They have to know that the Bible is the final authority in all matters of life. They have to understand how God’s Word translates to their daily concerns, and appreciate how relevant it is in their lives.
“Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful….” Joshua 1:8
“Teach to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up…” Deuteronomy 11:19
“Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…” Psalm 119:105
“All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” 2 Timothy 3:16
If we are faithful to do this, then once our children start hearing tiangge advice, they would know better. They won’t just buy in to whatever is being handed to them. More than that, they’d be ready to offer the kind of advice that the world really needs to hear.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov. 4:23
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…” 2 Cor. 5:18
“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Cor. 6:19-20
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Cor. 13:11
When God said that He was going to open doors for me and give me opportunities to step out of my comfort zone and start stretching my faith this year, boy did He mean it!!
This month has been very exciting, to say the least. Wait, let me correct myself— this month has been very nerve-wracking, to say the very least! For the first time in my life, I’ve had to preach 11 times this month (so far, eight down, three more to go). That’s almost half of this entire month! In addition to that, I just finished taping an episode with financial guru Randell Tiongson for his show, Money Talk, which will air in a Cebu cable channel this year.
Will you please allow me to do this one thing here??
Just so all of you know, I am NOT the type who would volunteer to do this kind of thing (speaking and all) on a normal basis. If it were up to me, I would rather just sit back and relax. I would rather let all the other people do the talking and not have to feel any bit of tension down my spine. And since I’m married to a preacher, I would rather let my husband do all the talking, while I just watch and take down notes. He’s far better in doing this thing anyway. Everyone else is far better in doing all the things God’s asking me to do anyway.
Yeah… if it were only up to me, I would really just sit back and be comfortable. *dreamy look*
Tsk.
But of course….I know better. :p
I know that it is not up to me. I know that if I just sat back and kept being comfortable, my heart couldn’t be at rest; my innermost being wouldn’t allow me to relax, anyway.
I’ve always asked God to use me in ways bigger than myself. I’ve always been in faith that God will take me places I couldn’t even begin to imagine. I’ve always known that I wouldn’t be just another face in the crowd, but that God will make my life count for something; that God will use my life to make a dent not just in my generation, but in generations yet to come. I’ve known this all along, but it wasn’t until late last year when I really finally allowed God to push me out of my comfort zone and stretch my character and my faith. Yes, on one hand I’ve been in faith as to how God can use me, but my faith was dead in the sense that I didn’t believe in Him enough to allow Him to actually use me the way He wanted to. There was always that fear that He might make me do something I didn’t like, or that’s not comfortable for me, or maybe even something that I couldn’t do.
And I was right. He does want to make me do something that I don’t like, but that He knows I’d love as I go along (which is what’s happening now). He does want to make me do something that’s way out of what is comfortable for me, and something that I certainly could NOT do on my own. All because He wants to take me to that place where I’d have no reason to trust in myself, but to put my trust solely on Him. He wants to take me to that place where there can be no question that it is God himself moving in and through me. He wants to take me to that place where I can make the most impact and bring Him the highest glory… and it’s in the place where there is no “What about me —? How Can I —-? “ left in Thammie.
So yes, Lord. Bring it on. What a privilege it is to experience you bringing me to a place where there’s none of me– but all of You, magnified.
In short, kakapalan ko na mukha ko Lord, kasi ikaw naman ang haharap, diba?
My mantra for this season is: JUST SHOW UP.
As in all the heroes in the faith that God used in extraordinary ways, just show up....and believe that God would not just show up and fight for you, but that He has already gone ahead and has alreadywon the battles for you.
That’s how long it has been since I last logged in. I just let my “all or nothing” trait kick in once again.
It feels weird expressing myself using a laptop with a different color, different wallpaper, different feel on the fingertips, you know? It’s just…. different…and it’s been a real struggle to go online this past week. More so to sit and stare at the screen…and having to think of something to say. All of a sudden I feel like I’m talking to a stranger! (Which, I realize….I do talk to strangers here!…Who end up as friends. *wink* …naaakss!)
Anyway, here I am again. I am forcing myself to stay online and write, simply because TEN is such a perfect number to use for the intro! LOL! Nine would be…bitin (what’s “bitin” in English for our English-speaking friends??)…Eleven would be….just not right. So, yeah…I HAVE to post this TODAY!!! (I’m shallow this way. Tsk.)
Okay, time for an update.
Oh, the past few days of being absent from the online world have been so exciting!!! It’s such a shame that I wasn’t able to update you as soon as the events transpired, but I think God also allowed me to lose my computer so I can better enjoy my time with family and friends without having to think or work on anything else. You see, February is a special month for our family. It is one of our most celebrated months every year! Aside from Valentine’s Day, which we all love to celebrate since we couldn’t get enough of Manila’s traffic and the cheesiness of the decorations in restaurants and hotels, not to mention the overpriced menu these places have to offer (Uh-huh. I’m bitter at the hotels who up their buffet prices. Don’t they know there’s one hungry and craving momma here who can’t afford price hikes?!!?!!?!?!?)…Now, where was I?? Ah…aside from V-Day, February happens to be the month where the birthdays of both of my girls fall, and also the month we got married! Yihee! And it’s so convenient that they are all just a few days apart, too! That translates to savings for us— Only one party needed, and it’s so worth it to go out of town. And that’s exactly what we did for this year—we had a party for the girls a few days earlier and we went to Bacolod to celebrate both of their birthdays and our anniversary as a family. I’d probably be writing something about our trip in a few days (*fingers crossed*), and maybe even about the party….we’ll see. Dennis needs to use the laptop already (As in he’s literally behind my back asking to use it). He still needs to prepare a lot of messages, since he said yes to a LOT of speaking engagements this month. Which, by the way, he just assumed that I’d be as bold as he is and he gladly suggested that we do a tag-team type of preaching for all these speaking engagements. In short, he just made this February an even more…..”exciting” (read: nerve-wracking) month for me. The other night we were part of a panel for a valentine special, and earlier tonight we just gave a talk to college students in UP Diliman (Side note: I loved the energy of those young people!). Tomorrow we will be speaking to young professionals. I am praying it goes well, too. Pray with me, please??
Okay, time’s up! I’m not even sure if I made any sense in this post, but I really just want to post something while I can still use “TEN days”.
My entire lifetime will not be enough to say THANK YOU JESUS, but good thing there’s eternity for that… 
