A hundred years ago, being a hero meant doing something extraordinarily great, in the service of others. It was equated with self-sacrifice, usually even to the point of death. If one wanted to become a hero, he/she had to be so passionate in serving and helping other people. There was no time to think of oneself, no time to waste on foolish choices. There was only one life to live, one chance to make a difference. They had to make their lives count for something. It was about leaving a legacy. It’s no wonder people back then celebrated their heroes’ lives. They indeed were worth celebrating and putting in high esteem. They became famous because they were worth emulating.

Fast forward to the present… do young people even know what a hero is?? Do they still know what it means to be one??

There seems to be some confusion with this word, hero. To most people now, anybody who’s famous-enough can already be a hero. Young people call celebrities their heroes. In short, the condition for being a world-famous hero now is to just do something extreme enough to get you noticed. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, constructive or crazy…just make it extreme, and you can be “up there”. People can not tell the difference between a role model from a supermodel or a fashion model; they can not tell the difference between heroes and celebrities. Young people are inclined to assume that they are all one and the same. If you’re a celebrity, you can be my hero, my role model. If you’re famous, I can and will emulate your lifestyle– even if I can see how it’s destroying you.  Their reasoning goes something like this: You’re my hero because you’re famous, and you’re famous because you keep doing extreme and crazy (even foolish) things. I therefore conclude that if I want to be a hero, I just have to aspire to be famous.  Now, because I want to be famous, I’ll just copy the crazy stuff that the famous people do, but of course with a little bit of variation (I’ll get even more famous that way), maybe even making it a little bit more extreme, a little bit more foolish.

What a scary pattern of reasoning, but this is really what’s happening now. And it is becoming a cycle, because now the next generation has no clue whatsoever, no picture of what a real hero is. Nobody has any idea what it really takes to become a hero, so nobody is rising up to do real hero-worthy tasks. Of course, I know I’m generalizing, but I’m just saying that a significant majority of young people now think this way; a huge part of our culture now reflects this reality.

Anybody who has spent enough time with children would know that they are wired to absorb and that they are always in the mode of watching and copying. It is innate for them to look for someone to imitate. If they see someone often enough, they naturally acquire that person’s mannerisms and habits. This is because we were really created that way. The Bible says that we were created to mirror God’s image. Unfortunately, the second part of that purpose has been erased, and now people just mirror, period. They mirror anybody who comes along and seems cool-enough to mirror. We have to realize this wiring as parents, and we have to teach this to our kids: we, including them, were created to mirror God. This is why Paul says “Follow me, as I follow the example of Christ“. This is why discipleship in the home is very important. We are mirror-people. We naturally look for someone to copy. Our children are mirror-people. They naturally look for someone to imitate. We have to teach them who they should look to, who they should copy. We have to teach them the difference between a celebrity and a hero; a famous person and a role model. They have to be aware that just because so-and-so is famous, and they really like his/her role in such-and-such, doesn’t mean they have to follow how he/she lives his/her life. Being a celebrity is waaaay different from being a role model. Being a hero requires much much more than just being famous. Our children should learn that “my aspiration should not just be to be famous. Instead, I should look at the examples of real heroes and people who make their lives count for something God-glorifying (even if most likely, these people have never been and will never be featured on TV); I should aspire to follow their examples, as they follow the example of Christ.”

Then, who knows? they might just become famous along the way (which isn’t such a bad thing, especially if their character’s ready).

photo: technorati.com

I’m reminded of three scenarios that took place a couple of months ago, when Alyanna was still three-something years old. I took them to memory but never got around to blogging about them. I shall do that now, as I know it will be a good reminder for me (and hopefully to you, too) of just how much our children long for role models.

Part one:

There was a time (even before she turned three) that Alyanna got introduced to Connie Talbot, the six-year old singer who won on the show Britain’s Got Talent (*a reader just corrected me, Connie was just runner-up, not winner hehe,my mistake). Since then, Alyanna’s love for singing grew to a whole new level. She would sing in the car, while eating, before going to bed, in her sleep….everywhere, anywhere…everytime, anytime. She was so fond of this six-year old that she would sometimes call herself Connie Talbot or Alyanna Talbot, and would always wear boots (even here at home) because she thought that the boots would make her look like Connie. Why, she didn’t even allow me to get her a haircut because “Connie Talbot has long hair“.

This was also the season when Alyanna dreaded vegetables. One time, while we were having broccoli and cauliflower for dinner, Alyanna asked me what they were and I answered her, telling her to eat them. Before that time, she would just say no to eating veggies at the sight of anything green, but when I mentioned to her what those two kinds were, her eyes lit up as she asked, “what? CONNIE-flower?? Is this Connie Talbot’s favorite??” At that instant I saw a glimmer of hope that maybe— just maybe I can use this to get her to eat the healthy green stuff. I said “yep! Connieflower! And yes, maybe they’re Connie Talbot’s favorite….oh look! we even have little connietrees!!” (I know, I was pushing it ) ….I did have victory that day.

Part two:

After the Connie Talbot season was the season of the Von Trapp family. Alyanna just LOVED the Sound of Music! So much so that we even caught her singing “Lonely Goatherd” one morning, in her sleep. During this season, she would usually ask me “Do the kids in the Sound of Music like that?” or  “Do the kids in Sound of Music do that?” whenever I’d ask her to do something.

Part three:

After Maria and the Von Trapps, came Disney. She actually has never scene a full Disney movie (to the extent of my knowledge). Most of the time we just play the parts with the singing (those scenes we thought were safe enough) or play the soundtrack to her. Even then, somehow she still got the prince-princess concept, which I have been trying to avoid. I was surprised when one day, as I was carrying her down the stairs as one would carry an overgrown baby, she asked me, “Mom, diba this is how a prince carries a princess??” And one time when Dennis asked to kiss her, she said, “Ok, you be the prince and I’m the princess, daddy!” Ayayay!! And we’ve never even shown her any of those “…and they lived happily ever after” parts yet!

Children are always on the look-out for role models. God wired them that way. However, at a young age, they do not really have enough discernment to decide which would be a good model to follow. It is OUR duty, as parents, to provide that filter for them in the meantime. More than filtering, God has given us the responsibility to be the good models for them to follow. This means that if I am to parent my children well, then I’d have to live my life well.