I was trying to make sense of my schedule tonight. Without realizing it, I have been saying yes to people and yes to a lot of responsibilities since the beginning of this year (or has it been this way for a number of years now??), more than what is necessary. It’s so much easier to say yes, isn’t it?? I don’t have to feel bad for turning down some people or some tasks….as long as I say yes. Of course, it is also such a joy to spend time with people and to build relationship with them. My love language is time, so any invitation to hang out is difficult for me to say no to– especially when there’s food involved (correction: my love language is time AND food). Almost always, I am more than willing to spend my time doing things that I love, for people that I love (or I’d love to get to know and love)…and forget about how much time I can actually afford to give them. For example, I’d set an appointment with someone and tell that person I can meet her for an hour. An hour would pass, then two, then three..and I still would not be able to find it in me to tell that person that I have to go and do something else. I tell myself that I’d just adjust the rest of my schedule and try to offset whatever time was  ”lost” by waking up extra extra early or sleeping extra extra late. Of course we all know that this would domino down to the household duties, parenting duties, wife duties….and all other areas we still need to take care of. This happens with all other chores too. I love taking care of the home, so much so that I don’t mind not sleeping just to finish whatever task I am preoccupied with.

If I just look at things superficially, everything actually looks fine. It is good that I spend time with people. It is good that I make sure the house is orderly. It is good that I am with the kids practically everyday. It is good that I can do ministry stuff that I so love, in support of my husband’s work. It is good that my nights are more or less set to be with Dennis. It all looks good.

“Looks” good.

But I just know I need to do some tweaking. I feel I am spreading myself too thin, compromising whatever BEST I can actually give to my family.

So tonight I listed down everything that I have on my plate (I wonder why this sentence makes me want to go out and grab something to eat??). I ended up overwhelmed, having a whole web of words on my notebook! I actually had to solicit Dennis’ help, since he is my schedule-and-strategy go-to guy. He helped—–a bit. He was able to get two things off my plate, but that was about it. His conclusion was: “There’s really not much you can do about your responsibilities, except put a specific time for each of those names/tasks…or to put a specific name to your time.”

Gee. Thanks a lot. :I

No, really… Thanks a lot. Put a name to your time— I hate to be legalistic with my time, but this may be what I need to focus on in the next couple of months or so…get used to putting a name to my time, and not let another name take over.

Hmm….there’s a word for this……

Is it DISCIPLINE??

Ah. Don’t we all love this word?

Anyway, as I was attempting to make sense of my days, I began to wonder how I made it last year with everything that went on. It was by far the most unstable year for us and I could not even figure out how we managed to get by. Then I remembered my other mom-friends who have to work aside from having to fulfill their tasks at home. Then I thought of my other mom-friends who have a lot more kids than me, and also minister to a gazillion number of people.

I could only conclude one thing from tonight’s thought-processing: The only way for me to have had managed the way I did so far has been by grace, and that’s how I will continue to manage. The only way that all my other mom-friends (both working and stay-at-home) are making it is by grace. As my friend Belle would put it, “Best friend natin si Grace” (“Grace is our best friend.”).

I pray for all of you, mom-friends– both “working” in and out of the home, that grace will be your best friend.

That our definition of getting by is not just being able to manage for purposes of survival, but being able to manage with much joy… and our sanity well in tact, too. I pray that this week, we will be able to say no to the things that are really not a matter of life and death, and say yes only to the things that God calls us to do.

To summarize: Let us make this week Project Plato. For me, this would entail unloading some things off my plate, which God is not really telling me to do, and also– literally unloading my plate…. each time I eat.

We can do this!!!!

Heehee!

Okay, NOW my excuse for not writing a single entry over the last couple of days is because of the house-move. I have been going back and forth almost everyday, trying to fix whatever I can so we can finally move in to the new house.

Huu-whhhaatt??!? You’re too slow Thammie! I thought you’ve moved in a month ago???

Whoa! Before you judge me, let me explain!

I have had no helper whatsoever so I have been doing all the cleaning and arranging and moving around of all the furniture all by myself! (Well, the moving around part… actually that’s Dennis….I just wanted to sound like a superwoman. Hahaha!)

But yes, that’s really why I have been taking so long. Add to that the fact that simultaneous to all the moving and arranging, I’m having some repainting jobs done, plus the shelves and some cabinets are still being constructed as we speak.

The good news, though, is that I think by tonight I can get at least ONE room of the new place clean enough for us to have our first sleep-over! Woohoo!!! I am so excited to move in to the new place. I have been living like a nomad for a few months now, and though I love the idea of having no household responsibilities and not having to think about what to feed the family daily, I would not trade having my own place to call home for anything in the world.

Here are some of the main things I have learned (or have been reminded of) over the past couple of weeks:

1. Go for “progress”, not “perfect”.

I have to keep repeating this to myself. I have a tendency to perfect the details and sweat the small stuff, and then later on realize I’ve been spending too much time on one thing and haven’t made any real progress!

2. Small is big.

This can apply to so many things. Every small thing you acquire adds big time to clutter; Every “cheap” thing you put into the cart adds up to a big amount at the check-out counter; every small gesture of generosity refreshes someone else in a big way…small is big.

3. Slow is fast. (and labeling really is a homemaker’s best friend!)

Initially I felt that I was kind of slow because I had to be so detailed in labeling all our things, but oh wow…because I have tons of boxes and sacks, I CANNOT imagine how it would be like if I didn’t take the time to label everything carefully. The unpacking is so much faster because of that system.

4.  The urgent will always seem to be the most important.

But often, it is not the case.

There were a lot of times when Dennis and I had to stop taking care of the renovation and house move because our daughters would start to remind us of the lack of time we have been spending with them.

It is so easy to get caught up with what the concerns that are screaming “urgent!!!” that we sometimes forget to listen to the cries of those that are really important.

5. When God told husbands and wives to “leave and cleave”, He really had our best interests in mind.

I am super thankful….beyond words….for the kindness shown by my in-laws. They have been so generous and patient with us. We stayed there for over a month and it really was a lot easier for us especially since I could leave the kids there and not have to worry about them inhaling all the dust (and messing up the already-messy place) and pretty much not have to worry about anything else but the move. BUT like I said, I would not trade living with my husband and kids in our own place for any of the convenience and benefits of living with our parents. It’s really just different….a good kind of different.

******

Okay, there’s really more than five points that I want to share, but I’m afraid I’ll stop at seven of eight….and I always prefer my lists to be divisible by five. So for now, that’s it. I have to get back to cleaning up.