I just heard it— the phrase I told myself I would not allow anyone to say about my children.

“Anak ka pa naman ng pastor.” (a not-so-direct translation: “And you call yourself a pastor’s kid??”)

Early on, I knew I couldn’t escape the possibility of someone making this remark about my kids. I knew that people generalizing the behavior of my children is somewhat bound to happen. If either of them behaved exceptionally well, people would say, “Wow. Anak ka kasi ng pastor” (“Ah. That’s because you’re a pastor’s kid”) . If any of them acted defiantly, people would also be quick to reprimand, “Uy, be good. anak ka pa naman ng pastor!” (“Be good. You’re a pastor’s kid!”)

Let me just say this once and for all:

My goal for my children is not to raise them as moral people-pleasers, who are only concerned about holding up a certain image because they are “pastor’s kids”.

Nuh-uh.

My goal for my children is to raise them as God-fearing, Christ-centered individuals, whose primary concern is to love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. My goal is for them to understand the extent of God’s love and the fullness of the power of what Christ has done for them on the cross, thus enabling them to live lives that are a blessing to those around them, and that will give their Heavenly Father– not their pastor dad, the glory.

I wouldn’t want my kids to feel that false burden of trying to live up to a certain standard that the world demands of them by virtue of their dad’s occupation. I don’t think this is fair for them.

Besides, no one ever says to a doctor’s kid, “What?! You don’t know how to use a scalpel and save a life yet?? You’re a doctor’s kid!” or “You’re a lawyer’s kid, surely you memorize the constitution already!” To make this kind of generalization is simply absurd.

It’s no different for “pastor’s kids”.

They are, like all other kids, child-like in behavior, and still childish in many ways. They are, like all other kids, a work in progress. In and of themselves, they are sinful and selfish. In and of themselves, they are bound for hell. Like every other kid, they are in need of their parents’ love, guidance, and discipline. Like every other kid, it takes some time for them to correct certain attitudes, habits, and behaviors that are wrong. Like every other human being, they need God’s grace in their lives.

I have said that I wouldn’t want my children trying to live up to men’s expectations of them. I do, however, require my children to live by Biblical standards simply because of who their God is.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts…” – Deuteronomy 6:4-6

The last thing I would want to happen is for my children to grow up being morally good yet missing the whole point– that the Lord is their God.

Lately I have been having these thoughts….

…..I guess you can call them apprehensions? Concerns? I’m not really sure what to call them, but they are all in line with the thought of me not being able to stick to a certain routine for the past months. I know I sound like a broken record with this “routine” thing, but it really is a pressing concern I am facing now, especially since I am the type who thrives on having routine.

Some very well-meaning family members have expressed their concern over how Alyanna and Mikaela might be lagging behind in their “skills” since I haven’t had the time to “teach” them anything the past months. Well, if you think of teaching as something that can only transpire in a classroom setting, or only when the teacher (in my case, moi) and the student are going through a particular academic material or lesson plan, then that presumption would be true. It would be true that I have failed to teach my children. It would be true that I should feel pressured to double up my efforts in teaching them so they can somehow “catch up”.

BUT then again, I also have to remember that I have been teaching them even as we just play together and enjoy one another. I have been teaching them even by just conversing with them. More importantly, I have to remember that they are still so young!!!

Mika’s two and a half, Alyanna is four and a half… Young!!

Sadly, for a moment there I have succumbed to society’s measure of good parenting. My kids have to be able to read by three. My kids all have to be exclusively breastfed until seven (hehe I’m exaggerating of course, but you get what I mean….BTW, I am FOR breastfeeding! Try with all that you have to be able to!). My baby should be potty trained by two. My toddler should know all the colors, all the shapes, should be able to count in at least two languages, and could count backwards…..You get the picture I’m trying to paint, right??

Society has led us to believe that if we want to set our kids up for success in life, we have to bombard them with all the education and “brain stimulation”   at the earliest age possible. Again, I am for brain stimulation, and I am (now I am willing to admit it) a nerd who loves academic stuff, but to be trapped in a certain degree of fear just because some of us do not have the luxury of enrolling our young children to the best preschools or buying the latest educational toys is simply WRONG.

Do we remember what it was like when we were three or four years old? Were we ever pressured to memorize so much material and read at a very early age and perform academically?

No wonder I see spas that offer “de-stress” services for children!

……I’m sorry. Everything I just said was not really what I planned to say. Hehe.

What I really wanted to say is this:

Lately I have been having some guilty feelings  because I haven’t really been able to sit down with my children and follow my intended lesson plans and curriculum, and I’ve been having fears of how they might perform academically because of this so-called lack of teaching and learning. I lifted all this up to God in prayer and here is the one thing that He has impressed in my heart in response to all this:

It has been my grace from the very beginning of your parenting. It will be my grace still, that will carry you and your children through…until the very end.

Sabi ko nga Lord.

Thank you for your GRACE.