When was the last time you played with your children just for the fun of it?

I was trying to recall how it was like when I was a kid. I remember playing for the entirety of the day and not really having to care much about whether or not I got to learn something new. Since I grew up having a nanny to take care of me throughout the day, I don’t think there really was any thought on “learning” everytime we played. All I know is that when I was a kid, I played and I had fun. Until now, I still can’t reconcile my dad’s stories on how early I caught on concepts since I don’t recall any “early childhood education techniques” that were used on me.

It’s very different now. Since I became pregnant with Alyanna and up until the present, these are the words that come to mind when we talk about play:

Infant stimulation

Playing with purpose

Educational toys

Educational games

Thinking games for kids

Games for learning

How to play so kids can learn

In short, we have been conditioned to think that the major criterion for “great” games is if it serves the purpose of teaching our kids. When it comes to toys, all marketers need to do is attach the word “educational”, and most of us are immediately enticed into buying them.

I find myself falling into this kind of thinking a lot of times. In fact, I am guilty of sometimes giving Dennis that “why are you playing with that, that’s not even educational” look every time he and the girls play with his action figures. But then I remember: isn’t playing supposed to be for fun, too??

Of course it’s great that God has wired our children to learn as they play and go about everyday life. It is a good thing to consider the objectives of our play and to choose games that are purposeful…as long as we keep in mind that one of the greater purposes is for us to have fun and build good memories with our children.

Lately I have been having these thoughts….

…..I guess you can call them apprehensions? Concerns? I’m not really sure what to call them, but they are all in line with the thought of me not being able to stick to a certain routine for the past months. I know I sound like a broken record with this “routine” thing, but it really is a pressing concern I am facing now, especially since I am the type who thrives on having routine.

Some very well-meaning family members have expressed their concern over how Alyanna and Mikaela might be lagging behind in their “skills” since I haven’t had the time to “teach” them anything the past months. Well, if you think of teaching as something that can only transpire in a classroom setting, or only when the teacher (in my case, moi) and the student are going through a particular academic material or lesson plan, then that presumption would be true. It would be true that I have failed to teach my children. It would be true that I should feel pressured to double up my efforts in teaching them so they can somehow “catch up”.

BUT then again, I also have to remember that I have been teaching them even as we just play together and enjoy one another. I have been teaching them even by just conversing with them. More importantly, I have to remember that they are still so young!!!

Mika’s two and a half, Alyanna is four and a half… Young!!

Sadly, for a moment there I have succumbed to society’s measure of good parenting. My kids have to be able to read by three. My kids all have to be exclusively breastfed until seven (hehe I’m exaggerating of course, but you get what I mean….BTW, I am FOR breastfeeding! Try with all that you have to be able to!). My baby should be potty trained by two. My toddler should know all the colors, all the shapes, should be able to count in at least two languages, and could count backwards…..You get the picture I’m trying to paint, right??

Society has led us to believe that if we want to set our kids up for success in life, we have to bombard them with all the education and “brain stimulation”   at the earliest age possible. Again, I am for brain stimulation, and I am (now I am willing to admit it) a nerd who loves academic stuff, but to be trapped in a certain degree of fear just because some of us do not have the luxury of enrolling our young children to the best preschools or buying the latest educational toys is simply WRONG.

Do we remember what it was like when we were three or four years old? Were we ever pressured to memorize so much material and read at a very early age and perform academically?

No wonder I see spas that offer “de-stress” services for children!

……I’m sorry. Everything I just said was not really what I planned to say. Hehe.

What I really wanted to say is this:

Lately I have been having some guilty feelings  because I haven’t really been able to sit down with my children and follow my intended lesson plans and curriculum, and I’ve been having fears of how they might perform academically because of this so-called lack of teaching and learning. I lifted all this up to God in prayer and here is the one thing that He has impressed in my heart in response to all this:

It has been my grace from the very beginning of your parenting. It will be my grace still, that will carry you and your children through…until the very end.

Sabi ko nga Lord.

Thank you for your GRACE.