Just came from another “session” with Mika. Typical— she disobeyed, and the so the story goes….

Mika: *crying* “I’m sorry mom!”

ME: “I forgive you, Mika, and  I love you.”

MIKA: “Why??”

ME: “Because I love you! I choose to love you no matter what, and you are my daughter, nothing can change that, so I’ll love you no matter what.”

MIKA: “Why?”

ME: “Why what?”

MIKA: “Why I’m you’re daughter always?”

ME: (Thought bubble: Bakit, may reklamo?? Ayaw mo??) *Erase the thought bubble*… “Uh…Mika, you also have to say sorry to God, right?”

MIKA: *crying more* “Yes! ….Jesus, I’m sorry!! Please for-dive me and please help me!!”

ME: “Mika, you know what the Bible says, right? Each time we ask for forgiveness and say sorry, God promises to forgive us and to help us do what’s right next time?”

MIKA: “Why?”

ME: “Well, because God loves you!”

MIKA: “Why?”

ME: “Because God is really loving and you are His daughter. He loves you.”

MIKA: “Because I’m nicer than Atsi (referring to older sister) ?”

ME: “No. No one is nicer. We are all the same. All of us sin against God and all of us need God to forgive us and to help us.”

MIKA: “What about the other people? Because I’m nicer than them?”

ME: “No, Mika. All of us….we’re the same. We all sin, right? That’s why Jesus had to die for us.Good thing he died for us, right?”

MIKA: “Yes. Dood thing even if Judas tempted Jesus to not die on the tross nalang, he still obeyed the soldiers and went up the tross, right?”

ME: “Uhm…Yes, good thing Jesus obeyed God the Father and died for us even if it was painful, because he loves us.”

MIKA: “Yes. I heard Judas mom. He tempted Jesus to not listen to Dod (God). Dood thing Jesus didn’t listen to Judas….”

ME: “Ah…okay…. (ano bang pinanood mo bata??) …okay, Mika, take a bath na….”

*Whew!*

Disciplining our children takes T-I-M-E…. Agree??

Our goal is not just for them to see what they did wrong, but to see their need for a Savior. We want them to say, “God, thank you for loving me, forgiving me, and helping me each time I do wrong and sin against you. Jesus, Dood thing you died on the tross for me. Thank you so much!”

Mika is already three years old, but for some odd reason, people still presume that she is only about a year old (That is, until they see her eat and hear her talk). Each time we go to a restaurant, as in…each time, we always have to ask for another set of plates and utensils for her. Each time! I just want to tell the people waiting on our tables that yes, she is already a little human being. She is a person. Tao na rin ‘to, ate. Kumakain din.

Sometimes I find this cute, sometimes annoying. Sometimes I just hope that they recognize this little human as a person already, while sometimes I wish this will carry on until she is about six or seven or eight, so she gets to eat at buffets for free, longer. (heeheehee…. *evil plan cooking* ;D)

This puzzles me, but it doesn’t bother me as much as when it is I (or Dennis) who forgets to recognize her as a person capable of understanding and processing what she sees us say and do. A little person, yes— but person nonetheless. It scares me to think that too often I also forget that she is in fact, not an infant anymore. She is a little human— one who is fully capable of hearing and seeing and ….(gulp!)….copying, even the habits and expressions that I would rather not have her imitate. She is one who is very, verrryyy quick to observe how I respond (or react) to situations, how I treat people around me, how I am when I think that no one is watching me. A very scary thought. I have to keep telling myself: She is already a little human being. She is a person. Tao na rin ‘ to. Kumakain, nakikinig, nanonood….at mahilig pang manggaya.

A scary thought, so help me God. ?

You know how they say that every moment is a teachable moment? Whether we are at home playing or eating, or out caught in traffic, there is always an opportunity to teach our little ones.

I’ve embraced that “truth”. I admit I have a tendency to over-explain things (meaning, explain even trivial matters), but I do try to be as concise as I can possibly be as I do this.

With Alyanna, it seems that my efforts in explaining are never in vain. I can always see that she understands what I try to tell her, and she is even able to explain or challenge other people’s opinions and actions based on what she has come to understand as truth or what’s right.

Mika, on the other hand, well…. she’s Mika…..

CORRECTION/TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER ONE:

(While teaching her to honor and respect others with her words)

ME: “Mika, you have to be very careful with your words. You know your tongue is like a sword, it is so powerful….”

MIKA: *interrupts and beams as she has a light bulb moment* “Lite a swort but with teeth and a mouth??”

————————–

TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER TWO:

(Out of the blue, while eating)

MIKA: “You know, diba mom Jesus died for us on the tross (cross)?   Hala. That’s why we need another Jesus na. Let’s  find another Jesus.”

(Uhm, anak, idolatry ata tawag dun!)

————————–

CORRECTION/TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER THREE:

(While trying to settle a dispute between the two girls)

MIKA: (trying to defend herself and explain what had happened) “No I didn’t do any-tin to huh but she keets sayin that I did any-tin to huh! (I didn’t do anything to her but she keeps saying that I did….I think she meant ‘something’… to her)

ME: “So who’s lying and who’s telling the truth?”

MIKA: “I’m not lyin’! Achie’s lyin!’”

ME: “Mika, you know the Bible tells us to keep our tongue from evil and our lips from speaking lies. Lying is a sin. Do you know that?”

MIKA: “Yes.”

ME: “Do you know what lying means?”

MIKA: “Yes.”

ME: “What does it mean?”

MIKA: “Not obeyin’ you?”

ME: “Mika, lying is when we are not telling the truth; when we are not telling what really happened only and when we make up our own story. SO are you making up your own story or are you telling me the truth?”

MIKA: “ Telling you the truth.”

ME: “Are you telling me the truth or making up your own story?”

MIKA: “Making up my own story.”

Hmm…Oh no. I know where this is going……nowhere.

Like I said, she’s Mika.

Each time I begin to think that Mika is finally getting something I am teaching her, she makes sure to let me know otherwise.  A lot of times, I have to ask for discernment to know whether it’s innocence, ignorance, or rebellion disguised in cute’s clothing. Still, I do not stop planting seeds of God’s Word because I just never know when it will finally click and she would finally get it.

After all, the clicking part is not really our job anymore. We can plant the seeds, but we can’t force the growth out of them. All we can do is be faithful in planting and cultivating, guiding and praying…..and wait for God’s Word to grow in their hearts and  bear much fruit.

Alyanna barged into our room earlier this morning, telling me she had something very important to ask me. Of course, I put aside everything that I was doing and prepared myself to answer her very important  question.

ALYANNA: “Mom, even if Mika and I disobey you, you still love us just the same?”

ME: “Of course!”

ALYANNA: “”Even if we disrespect and sin sometimes, you still love us a lot??”

ME: “Yes, of course!”

ALYANNA: “You love us just the same??? Still a lot?? It won’t change?? It won’t become less??”

ME: “Yes, nga…why are you asking?” (Is this a trap?? Are they prepping me? Is she about to tell me she did something terrible?)

ALYANNA: “Nothing. I’m just asking because you keep telling us that you love us. That’s what you keep saying to me and Mike all the time— that you love us…. that even if we disobey, you love us. How come??”

ME: “Aahh…because you know, I myself have received and experienced God’s unconditional love.”

ALYANNA: (as expected) “Huh???? What does that mean??”

ME: “It means that even before pa, when I didn’t love God yet, He already loved me. Even if sometimes I disobey Him, He still loves me….so that same love that God gives me, that teaches me and enables me to love you also— even if sometimes you don’t obey me. Because of Jesus, God loves us whether or not we are nice or even when we sin, so now we are also able to love others the same way. We love others even if they do not do what we want sometimes. Do you understand?”

ALYANNA: “Ah, so….when I become a mommy na, I should love my babies the way you love us?”

ME: “Well, yes…but even if you’re not a mommy yet (secret thought: And please! Let it be a looooong time before you become one!!)….you can actually practice loving this way— with Mika, with us, with your friends… Sometimes we all do something that you don’t like, right? Or like when Mika fights you? Then that’s a perfect time to practice asking God to help you love her even if you don’t want to.”

*Mika then entered the room, crying that she got a boo-boo….ending the conversation* I’m guessing Alyanna breathed a sigh of relief here.

I’m sure that at the back of every child’s mind, there is that longing to be assured of our love and acceptance. We have to make sure that even as we discipline and correct them for their misbehavior and wrong attitudes, we communicate that they are loved and accepted, not on the basis of their performance. We want to communicate that the premise of our love for them is not even our  capacity to love, because even that is unstable as long as we called humans. Rather, we love because we understand that God’s love enables us to love others as well, even if we don’t really feel like it.

Thank you Lord, for loving me, even if more often than not, I am not so lovable. A lot of times, I am selfish and I disobey. Yet even then, you love me; You see Christ’s righteousness in me. I pray that you will help me to love my spouse, love my kids, love everyone around me with this same love that I have received. Help me to see them the way you do. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

Today Alyanna and I had a very dramatic mother-daughter moment. As much as I want to say that it was all a sappy and sweet kind of drama, it wasn’t. Rather, it was a moment when I wanted to just yell at her and get mad. I felt so disrespected by her. She talked as if she was a rebellious teenager and just couldn’t tolerate it. I was sad, hurt, confused, frustrated….My system just wanted to blow.

“I’ve created a monster!”

I’m sure Alyanna felt the same way. I’m sure she felt as if she just wanted to yell and get mad at me, too. I’m sure she talked the way she did to let me know she didn’t like not having her way. She felt as if she knew what she wanted and that she was right and I was wrong for not allowing things to go her way.

In her eyes, I was the monster.

Our drama lasted for almost an hour, I think. Almost an hour of crying, time-outs, talking, discplining, and then afterward, reconciliation. I did not want to be the one to discipline her because I did not want to communicate any frustration or anger to her. I asked Dennis to intervene, and so he had the disciplining part covered. When Alyanna’s pride was finally broken and she was sincerely sorry for the way her heart was and the way she acted, I talked to her. She asked me to teach her and to always remind her to be respectful and loving. I told her for me to able to teach her she had to remove pride in her heart, and allow me to speak into her life and remind her.

Out of the blue, Alyanna asked me, “Mom, how do I get to Heaven?”

*TEACHABLE MOMENT ALERT!*

I told her how all of us have a black heart because of our sin. I told her how Jesus came and died on the cross so that we can be forgiven of our sins and so that we can be saved and be with God in heaven. I told her how all of us, including mommy and daddy, need Jesus to come into our lives and change our hearts. I asked her if she wanted to ask Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her,  give her a new white Alyanna heart and change her. She said yes. We prayed.

Of course, this conversation (and the drama prior to it) went on longer than how I am relaying it now. I just want to spare you the lengthy details.

*FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DATE*

It’s been a couple of days now and I have seen how Alyanna’s temperament has changed, and how it is easier for her to extend kindness and love to those around her. A few days ago, she told her aunt how Jesus has given her a new Alyanna heart.

She has understood. Apart from what Jesus has done on the cross, all of us have monstrous tendencies because of sin. Only by the power of what Christ has done on the cross can we be changed and given a new heart– a heart that knows how to love, forgive, hope, and be selfless.

I remember that a few nights before our drama took place, Dennis and I prayed that Alyanna would understand what Jesus has done for her and that she will accept Him as her Savior and Lord. I didn’t expect God’s answer to come so soon (a day or two after), but it just goes to show how God wants to reveal himself even to our very young children. It just goes to show how much He loves them and how He really is partnering with us as we parent our children.

Parents, let us be diligent in praying for our children, and let us be keen on seizing teachable moments. If I had allowed my emotions to rule, I wouldn’t have been able to show grace and forgiveness and compassion. I would not have seen the opportunity to minister to the heart of this little girl, and to hear her cry for a Savior.

Thank you Lord for working in my heart AND in my child’s heart. Thank you for saving us from our monstrous selves and for the grace to live lives that will please you.