Alyanna: “Mom, Am I beautiful?”

Me: “Of course!!! You are sooo beautiful!”

Alyanna: “I’m beautiful even if I don’t wear make-up and wear nail polish?”

Me: *shocked*

Alyanna is just four years old and already she concerns herself with this. I don’t know what made her start to think that the only way for her to be beautiful is by putting on color– not just on her face, but even on her nails! I dread to think how erred her thinking would become if I do not make an intentional effort to speak the truth of God’s Word in her life starting NOW.

We take one look around and we see hundreds of billboards, TV ads, and magazines…all geared toward making us think that we need to look a certain way and dress in a particular fashion to look beautiful and be loved and appreciated. I apologize for having to use the term I am about to, but I hate how the world is so brilliant and creative in brainwashing us. I hate how the world is succeeding in dictating to us our sense of worth. I hate how we have allowed the world to set the standard for what is and what is not beautiful, what is and what is not good, what is and what is not right. I am using the word “us” because it’s not just our kids they are getting to. I find that I, too, have to constantly check my heart and remind myself of God’s Word and what He says He thinks about me, what He says about how He created me.

I don’t know about you, but I love my kids way too much and believe in the destinies that God has set in their lives to just allow the world to twist their minds and lie to them. I will not allow the world to steal their identity. I will not allow this world to dictate their worth. I will not hand them over to the systems of this world!

Whoa! Galit ka ba Thammie?? Hehe…Hindi naman. Nagpapaliwanag lang.

Parents, let us make an intentional effort to speak God’s truth into the hearts of our children every day. It is my prayer that God will give us the wisdom and creativity to be able to mold our kids’ ways of thinking according to God’s Word. I pray that we will be keen to identify areas in which our children need our assurance and affirmation, and that we will be proactive in ministering to their felt needs. I pray that as parents, we will be at the forefront of the battle for our children’s hearts and minds.

…..And all this is because of Alyanna’s one question.

I was having a peaceful time reading my Bible when I heard Alyanna whining and demanding for something in the other room. At that moment, I was tempted to ignore her and thought, it’s supposed to be my “quiet” time with God, anyway. A few seconds later, however, I just knew I couldn’t go on with this alone time if I did not deal with her behavior right away.

I called her into my room and asked what was wrong. She continued to use her whining tone despite my reminder of the consequences that tone would bring about. She was whining because she wanted to wear a hair clip. I’ve told her a  few times before to wait until her hair was dry before wearing one, so this time I reminded her again. She then told me she did not want to obey. As petty as the issue at hand was, I had to deal with her heart so I disciplined her.

Usually, Alyanna would apologize, change her tone, and decide to obey after I discipline her–but this time, she didn’t. Instead, she looked at me and said, “I still don’t like to obey.”

This was not the Alyanna I’ve come to know, so I asked her why she was willing to get the rod from whining, just so she could have her way and wear that clip. She then started crying and said “I have to wear a clip so I can be beautiful! Because I want to be beautiful!”

In my mind, “WHAT?!? You’re three years old!! When I was your age……..I couldn’t even remember how things were when I was your age!”  ……..I decided to take this as a teachable moment.

ME: “Alyanna, do you think wearing a nice hair clip is what would make you beautiful?

ALYANNA: *sobs* “yes!”
ME: “Sweetheart, you know what? Even now that your hair is messy and still wet, I find you beautiful. You have to know it’s not what’s on your hair that makes you beautiful; it’s what’s in your heart–that’s what makes you beautiful. Do you understand?”

ALYANNA: *nods*

ME: *relieved that she got my point* “Okay Alyanna, let’s just fix your hair later when it’s dry okay?”

ALYANNA: “Okay…..” *smiling at this point* “Mom, can I wear my new dress nalang??”

ME: *thinking of the laundry–soap, water, time, effort…plus the wear on the new dress if she used it to play around…plus it was too hot and I was sure she’d get all sweaty as soon as she put on that dress* “Why? We’re not going out…”

ALYANNA: “Mom, because I want to be beautiful!”

ME: *withdrew from the place of relief* “Sweetheart, you know even if you’re wearing worn-out clothes, I still see you as beautiful! You know why? Because it’s not what you wear that makes you beautiful, it’s what’s in your heart. What makes you beautiful is if you have a heart that makes God smile. Do you understand?”

ALYANNA: “Yes, mom…but can I wear my new dress? I want to look beautiful!”

ME: *thinking: naku you better not be like this when you’re sixteen!*….. “Okay, love, but you have to know once you wear that it’ll be hot and you can not complain. You’re okay with that?”

ALYANNA:*excited* “Yes!”

…So off she goes to get her outfit. As I was putting it on her, she was beaming with excitement and when we were finally done, she asked me, “Mom, Am I beautiful??”

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Amazing…this three-year old is already craving for someone to assure her that she’s beautiful.

I want to make sure she grows up knowing that she is– not because of the clothes that she would wear, nor the hair accessories she would put on…but because she would have a heart that honors God. I want to raise her up and guide her towards becoming that beautiful lady God has destined her to be–not just by teaching her how to dress well, but by training her to live a life that would make her Heavenly Father smile.

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PS: Now, when I ask her “What makes you beautiful?” She gives me two answers: one, “If I smile.”, and two, “If I have a heart that makes God smile.” ….So far I say we’re on the right track.