I witnessed a funny thing last night after church. Well, I’m not sure if  ”funny” would be the appropriate word for it, but any other adjective escapes my into-the-holiday brain right now.

While waiting for Dennis to finish preaching, I decided to go to a bookstore and browse through some books. Just then, this guy holding a palm branch (palaspas) walked in and went straight to the magazine section, grabbed a copy that was of interest to him, and then browsed through it right beside where I was. He was pretty near so I just took a glance at him, at the same time securing my bag (hehe times like these, it’s okay to be praning– in english, slightly paranoid). Unfortunately, as I turned to take a look, I also caught a glance of what kind of magazine he was holding— a very popular “men’s magazine” (I still don’t think they should call it that, though). With one hand he held a palm branch, which supposedly tells of one “welcoming” Christ the Savior, and with the other hand he held something that would tell otherwise.

A few minutes later, his friend walked up to him to tell him they had to leave. When the friend saw what his friend was looking at, he gave some “friendly” advice: “Pare naman! Kakagaling lang natin ng simbahan eh tapos yan na agad babasahin mo?!” (” *insert ‘pare’ counterpart here* We just came from church and then now, that’s what you’re reading?!”)

Wow. At least this friend was in his right mind and was about to correct Mr. Palaspas.

But then, friendly-advice friend gave an even friendlier advice: “Bukas ka na bumili nyan!” (“Buy one tomorrow instead!”)

Toink.

As funny as it sounds, sometimes we do think like Mr. Palaspas and Mr. Friendly Advice.

Just like Mr. Palaspas, it is sometimes so easy for us to go into this holy week thinking it is just a tradition we practice every year. We can go to church, fast from meat, even fill our houses with palm branches…and yet we are unwilling to let go of our old sinful habits. With one hand we say “Welcome Jesus! We celebrate you! Come into my life!“, and yet with the other hand we still do the very things that He tells us to have nothing to do with.

Or we can be like Mr. Friendly Advice, who sees holy week as just that— a week when you  try to act holy. After which, we go back to our “normal” ways…until the next “holy” week.

So what should our mindsets be as we go and celebrate this holy week? Why do we have holy week in the first place?

Well, aside from the joy that we have in being able to take time off from work, Holy Week is really about remembering Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.

Nothing more, nothing less.

(But of course, it’s really fun to take time off from work and be with family and friends, right?? hehe…but that’s not the point so let’s go back to the real reason…)

It is because of Christ’s death on the cross that all our sins have been atoned for. It is because Christ chose to become sin for us that all our guilt have been washed away.

Jesus died and was buried according to scripture.

But it didn’t end there.

Like I said, it is about Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection– nothing more, nothing less.

On the third day, Jesus resurrected and became alive again, also according to scripture. He did not remain dead. The story did not end with Him losing power and being handed over to death. Because He was Jesus who was completely obedient to God the Father and was blameless, death itself could not hold Him down. He overcame the very thing we are all destined for because of our sin. He was victorious over sin and death—and He chose to share His victory with us! Because of His resurrection, we too, are made alive in Him. Because of His resurrection, we who were once dead to our sins are now alive in Christ. Once we were slaves to sin and our sinful nature, causing us to go on in our sinful patterns…but now we have been set free and we are able to say no to sin and therefore it doesn’t have a hold on us!

We can actually say no to sin! (Yaaay!!! )

This means that I don’t have to hold a palm branch or a Bible in one hand and with the other hand keep on sinning or doing my old ways. Jesus has given me the power to say no to that. This means that I could actually welcome Jesus willingly and completely and not let it be just  lip service because I now understand the freedom and the victorious life that He wants me to have. This means that I don’t have to put a timeline to when I can sin and when I cannot sin; I don’t have to try to act holy and on certain times only, because now I know that because of Christ’s death and resurrection I can say no to sin at all times, and I am already made holy.

I am already holy, and none— absolutely NONE of it is of any merit to me. None of my holiness is up to me or up to how I act. My holiness is based solely on what Jesus did for me on the Cross.

I guess this is my overly-zealous way of trying to encourage you, that we don’t have to be either one of them— Mr. Palaspas or Mr. Friendly Advice— anymore. We can, at this time and always, finally leave our old life of sin and completely welcome Christ into our lives. We can enjoy not just this holy week, but we can– from this moment on, live and enjoy holy lives.

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photo: mhygzs.multiply.com

Here’s a list of things that made my day today: (in order of “happening”)

1. Alyanna told me she looked for me the moment she woke up because I’m “special” to her.

2. I was reminded again of how much God loves us and how merciful He is as I read my Bible.

3. Mika kept asking me to hug her.

4. Alyanna asked me to increase our homeschool time. To be more specific, she said, “Mom, how come our study time is so short na here at home? I want you to give me more work to do for school.” (In short, nagpaka-nerd siya! hehehe)

5. Dennis volunteered to do his sermon preparation where I would be staying while waiting for the kids because he didn’t want me to drive in the rain. (This one really got me so kilig earlier! heehee!)

6. I spent the afternoon reading a good book while Dennis was in front of me the whole time finishing all three of his preachings for the week. (In case you didn’t know, my number one love language is time)

7. I had really yummy chocolate-filled coffee buns—two— with good coffee. (I think this made my day until I realized the calorie content, but oh well… )

8. We went on a family date night.

9. I enjoyed a very tasty and nutty  pesto pasta with really soft, buttery, and garlicky bread….oh, with barbecue sauce smothered all over fried chicken.

10. I finally bought something I’ve been praying for, for three years already!

As I finish typing this list, I could actually imagine you yawning and asking, “Is that it?” or “Where’s the ‘happening’ you mentioned earlier??”. It’s okay, I won’t take it against you.

….Come to think of it, today has been one of the “relatively-steady-and-relaxed” days for me. I chose not to think about (or do) any housework or ministry-related duties that had to be done— which I know would never get done anyway.

But you know what? Even if this was any other day that was full of events and work and stuff— I probably would still be listing down the same things here.  :)

Thank you Lord for allowing us to enjoy the wonderful blessing of family. Thank you for the gift of marriage. Thank you for the joy of being with our children. Thank you for allowing us to enjoy ever day with you. Thank you that things don’t have to be grand in order for us to enjoy them. Thank you. Thank you.

What about you?

What made your day today?

Have you expressed your gratitude, yet?

PS: I told you I really didn’t think of anything work-related today….not even anything blog-related (well, except for now)— I didn’t even bother taking any pictures!

Yesterday, I shared with you some of my notes from a seminar I attended (Raising Money Smart Kids). Today I would like to share one more thing that encouraged me as I sat through the seminar. More than the practical tips and financial advice I got, what I actually appreciated more was the fact that the whole family was involved in the event. As you sit there and listen, you would know what their family stood for. Of course, saving and making money grow were obvious interests that ran from the parents to the children, but more than financial values, you could tell that the Faustos stood for family— that family was a priority. I appreciated the fact that they not only brought their children with them to listen, and perhaps offer moral support, but all three children were actually present to also contribute their ideas on the topic.

Their eldest son, Martin.

Their second son, Enrique.

The youngest Fausto– Anton.

(I just edited and added this. Thank you Rose, for sending me a photo!:)) 

Eep! I can’t believe I wasn’t able to take a picture of their youngest son! ….But this is a cute picture of the couple, don’t you think?

I seldom see this nowadays, and so it quite refreshing and encouraging. I wish to see more parents and children involved in each other’s lives (in a positive way)— even beyond their teenage years. I hope to see more of the next generation rise up as a response to the mentoring and discipleship that occur in their homes. I am believing for more children who will grow up to embrace the values that their parents would teach them.

Of course, I also pray for the parents, that we will be the first ones who will lovingly guide and shepherd our children’s hearts. I pray that we will not need to shove our values down their throats, but that as we live our lives with integrity, they would want to embrace our faith and values as well. I pray that the things we love and believe in, would be a family affair— in agreement with our spouse, and owned by our children.

Here’s another mother-daughter dialogue over lunch:

Alyanna:”Mom, why are you so quiet all of a sudden? Are thinking of how to fix our house?”

Me: “Hmm…not really, but yeah I’m also wondering about that, I guess…”

Alyanna: “But mom, you don’t have to! Our house is perfect!”

Me: “Oh, thank you! But when you say perfect, what do you mean? What makes you say that it’s perfect?”

Alyanna: “Well, because you’re special. So even when you’re just thinking about fixing, it’s already special. It’s already perfect to me. Does that make sense or you still don’t get it?” (She was so cute when she said this, so…feeling grown-up!!)

Me: “Hmm…Can you explain that some more please?”

Alyanna: “I said, diba you’re special to me? So that means whatever you think about, it’s special also. How you fix the house, it’s special to me na….so it’s perfect for me!”

This couldn’t have been a more timely reminder for me. As homemakers, we (or is it just me??) easily get caught up with trying to make the house look nice and neat, with the intention of providing our family with the best experience of “home”. I need to get all the countertops organized! I need to arrange this so it would fit perfectly and go with that! I need to fix this and work on that!

What Alyanna said struck me: our home is perfect, our home is special…because mom is special. She didn’t require for her room to have all the best stuff, nor her closet be filled with the nicest clothes, nor her shelves be lined with the most expensive toys. She didn’t mind the current mess that’s sitting in our hallway waiting to be moved before she could say that our house is perfect.

THIS….is “perfect”?!???

Our kids’ definition of perfection is different from how grown-ups would usually define it. Their perception of a perfect home is not based on how their house looks like, but about the people that make up their home— their family. In short, they would rather have me playing with them and sharing memories with them than me spending the entire time fixing our house or finding nice things to put in our house. They would rather have me and be with me.

Mom is special, and that’s what makes the home special!

And it doesn’t matter to them either that mom often make mistakes (in my case, a lot of them! hehe). To them, mom is perfect on the basis of her place in their hearts— because she is special. And as long as they are with mom (and dad of course), home is special….and perfect.

Whew! Thank God! No pressure na!

Sometime last year, I wrote about desires and expectations. I could summarize it here for you, or you could just click here and read it for yourself.

This post will again be about expectations in our marriages.

Talking about expectations is a tricky thing. On one hand, we should be careful not to allow our desires to become expectations such that we might end up resenting our spouses for not fulfilling them, or we might become unappreciative of them when they do. We don’t want to have an “after all” attittude, wherein our natural response to our spouses’ acts of service and affection would be “you are my spouse, after all“. No. We don’t want that. We want to maintain a joyful attitude in our marriages— always hopeful for the best and at the same time grateful for what already is.

Oh, I used the intro “on one hand”. Then there must be another hand right?  hehe ….Yes, on one hand we do not want that, but on the other hand, we do enter into marriage with a certain set of expectations that would actually serve as a benchmark for us, as to how we want our marriages to be. Let’s call these “foundational expectations”. These are things that are worth fighting for in our marriages. These are the areas that are okay for us to sit down  and discuss with our spouses. These are the the ones we constantly go back to and evaluate to see whether they are getting fulfilled or not. These are areas that, when overlooked and left unfulfilled, actually have the capacity to eventually ruin your marriage.

For me, these are some of the areas that fall under this category (in no particular order):

1. Communication

2. Service

3. Romance

4. Faithfulness

5. Respect

As you can see, we dubbed “foundational expectations” as such because when we remind our spouses of these things (read: with appropriate tone of voice and timing, NOT in any way synonymous with nagging), we are actually doing our marriages— ourselves AND our spouses a favor. We are actually communicating that I care enough about our marriage to have to go through the trouble of asking you to sit down with me, process this together, and ensure that these get fulfilled. It is not just about getting our desires and preferences and what would make us happy, but more importantly— what would make both you AND your spouse happy, and your relationship richer.

I must end this post on expectations with this though: Just because we say that these expectations are foundational to our marriage doesn’t give us the right to disrespect our husbands (or wives, if it so happens that you’re a man reading this ), or to be unloving towards them. I am sure that many of us do have unfulfilled expectations. What then? Do we gripe? Do we start to resent? Do we give up and not care anymore?

No.

Here’s another foundational expectation that I left out earlier: unconditional love.

The vows we made when we entered marriage were all made with this premise— that we are to love our husbands/wives unconditionally. This means we are to love them even if they still haven’t fulfilled our expectations. This means that we acknowledge and remind ourselves that “my husband/wife is a work in progress, just as I too, am a work in progress.”

Yes, we fight for our expectations to come to pass. This does not mean we fight with our spouses. Yes, we communicate and express our expectations to our partners. This does not mean we nag them to death. Yes, we will not rest until we can ensure that these expectations are met. This does not mean we remain resentful until then.

Instead, as we hope and wait, we trust that God is at work in our spouse’s heart, just as we trust that God is also at work in our hearts.

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photo: taken by our friend Bleau, during our friends’ (Bu and Lyka) wedding.

This series of pictures made me smile. It is only now that I am convinced Mika does look like me!