Found this post again among the files I managed to “salvage” back when my site’s host failed me. This one’s dated June 19, 2009, but I still think it serves as a good reminder for me.

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We just came home from our good friends’ bridal shower and stag party (same house, different rooms for the men and women). I have to hand it to Steph’s (the soon-to-be bride) siblings…you all did a great job organizing it! The theme was anything kitchen, which I loved since all the prizes were useful. Had I known, I would have participated more than I have instead of just eating during the first few games!

** fast forward**

The last activity was for the married couples to give tips on “How to have a happy marriage”. This is what I came up with in the few minutes given to us:

H- Have a clear vision for your marriage. How do you want your marriage to look and be like?

A- Appreciate more than criticize. The latter is easier to do, but the former feels better and actually  yields much more results.

P- Pray together. I acknowledge that apart from the grace of God and complete reliance on Him, I probably will be more prone to doing everything else contrary to what the Bible teaches us on having great marriages.

P- Pay attention to each other’s needs and desires. “Pay attention” being the key word here. “To Each other”, too.

I- Inspire your partner to dream big. You have the wonderful privilege of being your spouse’s number one fan; being the president of his/her fan club— with front row seats and VIP passes to all the great things that he/she will be doing!

….You also have the power to crush all those dreams— in which case, you both end up just watching from the bleachers.

N- Never stop trying out new things. Having a routine and having responsibilities don’t have to be boring. It’s really up to both of you.

E- Enjoy sex.  (this one, ONLY when you’re ALREADY married!) ….No explanations needed.

S- Serve each other. You are in that marriage to serve and build up….not the other way around.

S- Savor every moment, even those that seem insignificant. Marriage is one exciting union! Every moment together is a blessing and is made to be a joy. Don’t just let those moments pass you by (parang Kodak lang yan…)

If any of you have other tips, feel free to write them!   I love learning from all of you!

PS: Mika’s on her way to recovery. She’s starting to eat again! yipee! ...(**Aah….so Mika was sick last June 2009, eh? Well, she’s been one healthy little girl since last year! )

**edit:

PPS: May I add? Can we change the spelling of “happiness” by adding one more -s at the end???

S- Say sorry. A lot of times, this is more powerful than the words “I love you”.  :)

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photo: theminimalists.com

Dear Dennis,

I don’t think I will ever get tired of telling you how much I appreciate you and how truly thankful I am for you. I don’t think I will ever get tired of spending time with you, even if we’ve already spent the whole day together and we’ve exhausted all possible points of conversation for the day (if that were possible). I don’t think I will ever get tired of thanking God for you, for each day I see how and why in His sovereignty, He brought us together. (Uuy, parang wedding vows ang tunog nito a! haha!)

Wait, parang pang anniversary! But it’s not our anniversary!

Let me shift the mode….

Happy birthday to one great man.  :)

I admire how you love God more than anyone or anything else in this world, and how you live to please Him, not men.

I admire how you make decisions and live each day, knowing who to listen to—- yes, that’s right, ME!!! :D

…ay wait, baka may makabasa at maniwala….

You know who to listen to— you know whose you are and you follow Him with all your heart, mind, and strength.

I admire how you commit to your work, not because you get paid to do it, but because you truly love people and you love seeing how God can change lives.

I admire how you are faithful in whatever it is that is given to you, even when no one would ever know.

I admire how you are the same person when others are around, and when it is just us.

I admire how you never stop learning, and how you remain humble and teachable.

I admire how secure you are, not because you feel that you have all the reasons to be secure, but because your security is not based on yourself. Rather, you get all your security from God.

I admire how you lead us— the church and your family…You lead with no sense of entitlement whatsoever, but you lead by serving us.

I admire how you have decided to live your life doing the will of God, even if that meant giving up certain things the world would consider as “success”.

I admire how you have decided to live this life, not for yourself, but to serve God and people.

Oh, how easy it is for us to love you, ga.

You are a blessing not just to me, or the kids, but to thousands of people whose lives you have touched….and I know you will continue to be a blessing to millions more as you go on obeying God’s will for your life.

I am one privileged woman to be having the chance to journey alongside you and support you in whatever, and wherever God will take you. What a joy it is to serve you and to love you! What an honor it is to be your wife, your best friend, your partner.

The kids and I are so proud of you, ga. Always have been, always will be.

We are proud of you. I am proud of you.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in our lives. Grabe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much!!!

Happy birthday!

Found this in my office file this morning. It’s dated August 24, 2011. I think I wrote it down someplace else because we didn’t have internet that time.

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I attended the Metro Manila Staff Meeting the other day and was glad to once again hear Pastor Steve Murrell give a short word to exhort the staff.

The main point of his message was on remembering. “Memories are what guard the soul”, he said. Of course, there are some memories that are better left stored away in the deepest recesses of the brain, or if possible– erased, but for the most part, memories are what keep us grounded.

If we remember how we were before Christ saved us and did his transforming work in us, it humbles us.

If we remember how God always came through for us and has remained faithful, it encourages us.

If we remember what life has taught us even through the mistakes we have made, it makes us wiser.

Remembering can really be a good thing for our souls.

The same is true for our marriages. Remembering the right things can guard our marriages and keep us strong. I say “the right things” because we certainly would not want to remember and keep a record of wrongs—either ours or our spouse’s. Remembering the right things can definitely make our marriages sweeter. Too often we can get caught up with life that we fail to remember just why we married this man/woman we wake up to every day. What a blessing it is to remember how you both were when you were still getting to know each other or when you were on your honeymoon stage. If we remember what we said in front of the altar on our wedding day, there will be less fights and less couples frustrated at each other.

Lord, thank you for the gift of memory. Thank you for reminding us to remember, because we are such forgetful people. Help us to remember the right things in our walk with you, and in our marriages. Help us to go through life enjoying and building more memories. 

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photo: rpmbold.wordpress.com

Thermometer (thr-mm-tr)

n.

An instrument for measuring temperature, especially one having a graduated glass tube with a bulb containing a liquid, typically mercury or colored alcohol, that expands and rises in the tube as the temperature increases.

Thermostat (thûrm-stt)

n.

A device that automatically controls heating or cooling equipment in such a way as to maintain a temperature at a constant level or within a specified range, generally using a thermometer capable of triggering electrical switches that activate or deactivate the equipment.

A thermometer does nothing but to respond and reflect the current temperature  of the environment it is placed in. It is entirely dependent on its surroundings and is incapable of controlling its environment.

A thermostat, on the other hand, is sensitive to the temperature and setting it is in, and adjusts accordingly. Its function is not to be dictated upon by its environment, but to control and set the temperature for the entire room. It is capable of going against the current level of coolness or warmth of its environment, and has the ability to actually change it.

We have the choice to either be thermometers— who helplessly get carried away and dictated upon by the circumstances that surround us, or to be thermostats— who are in control of our moods and emotions and thereby able to set the tone and atmosphere we wish to have in our homes.

Which one are you?

PS: Thermodynamics deals with the relationships and conversions between heat and other forms of energy— nothing to do with this blog, really.

* special thanks to thefreedictionary.com

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photos: nachi.org

alivingpromise.blogspot.com

Growing up, how did you imagine life to be?

How did you see yourself as a married woman? What kind of man did you dream of marrying? How did you envision the father of your children to be? What kind of life did you dream of living?

I’m sure all of us have answers to these questions. All of us grow up with a certain picture of how life would be for us. We all hope for a particular kind of life– either one just like what we grew up with, or one very much unlike it. Either way, we all desire something from life.

It’s no different when we talk about marriage. I do not know of a sensible person who starts a family without any goals and dreams. In fact, why get married if you don’t have any goals for your union, right? Let me use another word in reference to these goals and dreams– let’s name them “Desire”.

Desire is one thing that all of us have in common upon entering relationships. It is the one thing that keeps us excited and makes us look forward to the next day of being with that person we have fallen in love with. Desire is what makes us women especially look forward to that day when our man would ask us to marry them and we say yes. Desire is what makes men ignore their fears and decide to take on the challenge of being called a husband and soon, a father. Desire is a gift from God. Desire is a beautiful thing.

…BUT, we must be careful not to let these desires turn into something else. A lot of times, something magical happens when we get married; These desires take on a new name–”Expectation”. Unlike desire, expectation says “you have to do/give this or else…”. Expectation makes us lose that feeling of excitement and hope because now we wake up and everything is just an obligation that we have to fulfill. With expectation, wives tend to lose that sense of admiration and respect for their husbands because now he is just doing what he’s supposed to do as the man of the house. Expectation causes men to forget all about that unconditional love they promised to give their wives because now wives are just performing her duties. All of a sudden, all the joy, unity, intimacy, and beauty in a relationship fade because the desires have become something that God never intended.

God has loved us with an unconditional love– and He has commanded husband and wives to love the same way.

My prayer is that I will always remember to say thank you to my husband for EVERYthing he does for us–from getting me my favorite wheat pandesal, to trying his best to provide for us….and for our desires to remain as such, until the day they become reality for us.

WOW!!! Talk about TIMING! I got my very-much-missed Mac back from the computer shop AND I am now able to enter my site after weeks of just getting a syntax error line and some computer gibberish I could totally not understand…..just in time for mother’s day!!! Wooohoooo!!!! *dance*

Oh how I missed you , dear laptop! Oh how I missed you, dear WordPress interface!!!

God is a God of perfect timing, right? So I am thinking that He allowed me to get back to writing in time for mother’s day, so that my first “come back” post would be for all you moms out there. This is, after all, a site dedicated to encouraging and inspiring, and hopefully empowering you. (Well, that was the original plan, yeah…if that hasn’t happened yet, my apologies…I’m talkative and confusing that way!)

—-*Back to my message*—–

“You’re a supermom!” ….I sometimes hear that being said to some moms, and I wonder, “Why? Are there any ‘un-supermoms’??”   “What would make one qualify as a supermom?”

Is it the number of children— The more children you have, the more “super” you are?? Is it the capacity to multi-task and juggle various responsibilities at any given time— The longer your checklist, the higher up the super level you go?? Is it the way the kids turn out— the more apt they are in using polite words, the better??  Is it the capacity to raise super-children who are super-geniuses—The higher the grades and the younger they go off to college, the more super??

In a world where everything is measured according to performance, it is all too easy to judge mothers according to their output— the measure of how good they are is directly proportional to the performance of their children, or how busy they seem to be. The more responsibilities they try to manage, the better. Honestly, I refuse to buy into this measuring system set by the world. First of all, it neglects the fact that our children have different giftings and personalities, and so they bloom and grow in different ways. Just because one learns to read later doesn’t necessarily make him/her any less smarter and the mom of that child less “concerned” with him/her. Second, it forgets the fact that moms too, have different giftings and personalities. Hence, they handle things in different ways. Just because one mom is able to juggle more tasks at a time doesn’t make her any better than the other mom who prefers to “focus” on one thing at a time. Third, it takes God out of the picture. It removes the grace of God out of the equation and out of the whole picture of parenthood. This puts the burden of making sure our children turn out right all on us. What a scary place to be in, since any mom would know that no matter how much you try to guide your children, they do have their own will, and would sooner or later live out their lives according to the orientation of their hearts.

I can rest assured that my children will turn out right, not because I feel I have done an awesome job in hammering biblical principles into their hearts (I am quite certain I have a long way to go in this area); Not because I make them memorize all the verses, both from the old and new testament….but because I know their destinies are not left to chance, nor are they left to me (although I do play a vital part, yes). I can rest assured that my children will turn out okay because I know that it is God who holds their hearts and that ultimately, it is He who parents them and guides them, especially in areas that are out of my control.

Proverbs 31:29,30 says “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

This, for me, is the measure of a supermom: the fear of the Lord.

As moms, we all have different experiences, different giftings, different seasons, and different stories to tell. It is easy for us to compare ourselves with other moms and wonder if we’re doing a good-enough job. At the end of the day, though, it is not really so much about doing a good-enough job as it is about living our lives yielding to God and allowing Him to fulfill His purposes in our lives. At the end of the day, it is not so much about the many things that we are able to do, as it is about the many things that God does in our hearts and the lives of our children. It is not so much about trying to be a supermom as it is about relying on the grace of God to enable us and empower us to do whatever He has called us to do, in whatever season and area He has placed us in.

I want to encourage you today, mom-friends, that no matter how the world will try to convince you otherwise, you are supermoms. And you are supermoms, not because of anything that you have done, are doing, or will try to do…but because God’s grace and power has already been made available for you— to empower you, to strengthen you, and to help you fulfill your calling as moms.

I pray for you today, mom-friends, that you will live out your adventure-filled mommy lives full of the grace of the Lord and the strength that comes from Him. I pray that as you go about all your daily tasks, you will find joy like no other. I pray that as you interact with your children, you will get to celebrate each moment and build wonderful memories with them. I pray that as you take on the role of mom, along with all other roles life requires of you, you will be filled with wisdom to know what really matters. I pray that each time you feel tired and overwhelmed (and you terribly need that six-hour body massage, foot spa, body scrub, plus a totally new hairstyle), that you will find peace and times of refreshing in your quiet moments with our Heavenly Father.

I honor you today, moms-friends, for you willingly give of yourselves for your families. Oftentimes, the work that you do go unnoticed and unappreciated, but you still do it anyway. You do it, not because of the recognition you hope to get, and not because of any material compensation (how I wish there was such a thing for us)…but you do it because of love. I am always amazed at the great lengths you are willing to go through and endure for your children. I honor you for your capacity to love. I honor you for your ability to give. I honor you for your willingness to set aside yourselves, for your children’s sakes. I honor you for dedicating your lives to nurturing and raising the precious gifts God has blessed you with.

Happy mother’s day!!!

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photos: bestcomments.net

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