I met up with some other wives and moms this morning and each one just talked about their love story. It’s still February, so I guess you can still say that we did this as part of the celebration of the love month. Anyway, listening to these women tell their love stories was so amusing because you can see their eyes begin to sparkle, and their faces begin to glow as their smiles get wider and wider from the wonderful memories.

These were some of the things I was reminded of as we listened and laughed at our stories:

1. I should pray that we would never lose that sparkle and glow when it comes to our marriages and each time we talk about our marriages.

2. Though memories of the past are good things to hold on to, we should not just live on the glory of those past memories. Each day is an opportunity to create new ones.

3. We should try to always remember the things that attracted us to our spouses in the first place. As we become more and more familiar with each other, it becomes easier and easier to just notice the things that fall short of our standards or that irritate us. What it this way when we were still in courtship?

4. So much of what attracted me to my husband wasn’t just the physical traits, but more of how his heart was more passionate for God  more than anything else. This is a good thing, because physical attraction would never be enough to sustain a marriage. Sooner or later, all the physical traits that attracted us to our spouses will change and fade away; what will remain and improve as time goes by is his heart for God, and his character that gets developed as he grows in his relationship with God. I have to pray that  my husband’s heart will always be passionate for God above all.

5. Our love story doesn’t end once we say our “I do’s” at the altar. We have to be deliberate in building on our love story until death do us part.

Found this post again among the files I managed to “salvage” back when my site’s host failed me. This one’s dated June 19, 2009, but I still think it serves as a good reminder for me.

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We just came home from our good friends’ bridal shower and stag party (same house, different rooms for the men and women). I have to hand it to Steph’s (the soon-to-be bride) siblings…you all did a great job organizing it! The theme was anything kitchen, which I loved since all the prizes were useful. Had I known, I would have participated more than I have instead of just eating during the first few games!

** fast forward**

The last activity was for the married couples to give tips on “How to have a happy marriage”. This is what I came up with in the few minutes given to us:

H- Have a clear vision for your marriage. How do you want your marriage to look and be like?

A- Appreciate more than criticize. The latter is easier to do, but the former feels better and actually  yields much more results.

P- Pray together. I acknowledge that apart from the grace of God and complete reliance on Him, I probably will be more prone to doing everything else contrary to what the Bible teaches us on having great marriages.

P- Pay attention to each other’s needs and desires. “Pay attention” being the key word here. “To Each other”, too.

I- Inspire your partner to dream big. You have the wonderful privilege of being your spouse’s number one fan; being the president of his/her fan club— with front row seats and VIP passes to all the great things that he/she will be doing!

….You also have the power to crush all those dreams— in which case, you both end up just watching from the bleachers.

N- Never stop trying out new things. Having a routine and having responsibilities don’t have to be boring. It’s really up to both of you.

E- Enjoy sex.  (this one, ONLY when you’re ALREADY married!) ….No explanations needed.

S- Serve each other. You are in that marriage to serve and build up….not the other way around.

S- Savor every moment, even those that seem insignificant. Marriage is one exciting union! Every moment together is a blessing and is made to be a joy. Don’t just let those moments pass you by (parang Kodak lang yan…)

If any of you have other tips, feel free to write them!   I love learning from all of you!

PS: Mika’s on her way to recovery. She’s starting to eat again! yipee! ...(**Aah….so Mika was sick last June 2009, eh? Well, she’s been one healthy little girl since last year! )

**edit:

PPS: May I add? Can we change the spelling of “happiness” by adding one more -s at the end???

S- Say sorry. A lot of times, this is more powerful than the words “I love you”.  :)

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photo: theminimalists.com

Dear Dennis,

I don’t think I will ever get tired of telling you how much I appreciate you and how truly thankful I am for you. I don’t think I will ever get tired of spending time with you, even if we’ve already spent the whole day together and we’ve exhausted all possible points of conversation for the day (if that were possible). I don’t think I will ever get tired of thanking God for you, for each day I see how and why in His sovereignty, He brought us together. (Uuy, parang wedding vows ang tunog nito a! haha!)

Wait, parang pang anniversary! But it’s not our anniversary!

Let me shift the mode….

Happy birthday to one great man.  :)

I admire how you love God more than anyone or anything else in this world, and how you live to please Him, not men.

I admire how you make decisions and live each day, knowing who to listen to—- yes, that’s right, ME!!! :D

…ay wait, baka may makabasa at maniwala….

You know who to listen to— you know whose you are and you follow Him with all your heart, mind, and strength.

I admire how you commit to your work, not because you get paid to do it, but because you truly love people and you love seeing how God can change lives.

I admire how you are faithful in whatever it is that is given to you, even when no one would ever know.

I admire how you are the same person when others are around, and when it is just us.

I admire how you never stop learning, and how you remain humble and teachable.

I admire how secure you are, not because you feel that you have all the reasons to be secure, but because your security is not based on yourself. Rather, you get all your security from God.

I admire how you lead us— the church and your family…You lead with no sense of entitlement whatsoever, but you lead by serving us.

I admire how you have decided to live your life doing the will of God, even if that meant giving up certain things the world would consider as “success”.

I admire how you have decided to live this life, not for yourself, but to serve God and people.

Oh, how easy it is for us to love you, ga.

You are a blessing not just to me, or the kids, but to thousands of people whose lives you have touched….and I know you will continue to be a blessing to millions more as you go on obeying God’s will for your life.

I am one privileged woman to be having the chance to journey alongside you and support you in whatever, and wherever God will take you. What a joy it is to serve you and to love you! What an honor it is to be your wife, your best friend, your partner.

The kids and I are so proud of you, ga. Always have been, always will be.

We are proud of you. I am proud of you.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in our lives. Grabe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much!!!

Happy birthday!

Found this in my office file this morning. It’s dated August 24, 2011. I think I wrote it down someplace else because we didn’t have internet that time.

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I attended the Metro Manila Staff Meeting the other day and was glad to once again hear Pastor Steve Murrell give a short word to exhort the staff.

The main point of his message was on remembering. “Memories are what guard the soul”, he said. Of course, there are some memories that are better left stored away in the deepest recesses of the brain, or if possible– erased, but for the most part, memories are what keep us grounded.

If we remember how we were before Christ saved us and did his transforming work in us, it humbles us.

If we remember how God always came through for us and has remained faithful, it encourages us.

If we remember what life has taught us even through the mistakes we have made, it makes us wiser.

Remembering can really be a good thing for our souls.

The same is true for our marriages. Remembering the right things can guard our marriages and keep us strong. I say “the right things” because we certainly would not want to remember and keep a record of wrongs—either ours or our spouse’s. Remembering the right things can definitely make our marriages sweeter. Too often we can get caught up with life that we fail to remember just why we married this man/woman we wake up to every day. What a blessing it is to remember how you both were when you were still getting to know each other or when you were on your honeymoon stage. If we remember what we said in front of the altar on our wedding day, there will be less fights and less couples frustrated at each other.

Lord, thank you for the gift of memory. Thank you for reminding us to remember, because we are such forgetful people. Help us to remember the right things in our walk with you, and in our marriages. Help us to go through life enjoying and building more memories. 

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photo: rpmbold.wordpress.com

Thermometer (thr-mm-tr)

n.

An instrument for measuring temperature, especially one having a graduated glass tube with a bulb containing a liquid, typically mercury or colored alcohol, that expands and rises in the tube as the temperature increases.

Thermostat (thûrm-stt)

n.

A device that automatically controls heating or cooling equipment in such a way as to maintain a temperature at a constant level or within a specified range, generally using a thermometer capable of triggering electrical switches that activate or deactivate the equipment.

A thermometer does nothing but to respond and reflect the current temperature  of the environment it is placed in. It is entirely dependent on its surroundings and is incapable of controlling its environment.

A thermostat, on the other hand, is sensitive to the temperature and setting it is in, and adjusts accordingly. Its function is not to be dictated upon by its environment, but to control and set the temperature for the entire room. It is capable of going against the current level of coolness or warmth of its environment, and has the ability to actually change it.

We have the choice to either be thermometers— who helplessly get carried away and dictated upon by the circumstances that surround us, or to be thermostats— who are in control of our moods and emotions and thereby able to set the tone and atmosphere we wish to have in our homes.

Which one are you?

PS: Thermodynamics deals with the relationships and conversions between heat and other forms of energy— nothing to do with this blog, really.

* special thanks to thefreedictionary.com

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photos: nachi.org

alivingpromise.blogspot.com

Growing up, how did you imagine life to be?

How did you see yourself as a married woman? What kind of man did you dream of marrying? How did you envision the father of your children to be? What kind of life did you dream of living?

I’m sure all of us have answers to these questions. All of us grow up with a certain picture of how life would be for us. We all hope for a particular kind of life– either one just like what we grew up with, or one very much unlike it. Either way, we all desire something from life.

It’s no different when we talk about marriage. I do not know of a sensible person who starts a family without any goals and dreams. In fact, why get married if you don’t have any goals for your union, right? Let me use another word in reference to these goals and dreams– let’s name them “Desire”.

Desire is one thing that all of us have in common upon entering relationships. It is the one thing that keeps us excited and makes us look forward to the next day of being with that person we have fallen in love with. Desire is what makes us women especially look forward to that day when our man would ask us to marry them and we say yes. Desire is what makes men ignore their fears and decide to take on the challenge of being called a husband and soon, a father. Desire is a gift from God. Desire is a beautiful thing.

…BUT, we must be careful not to let these desires turn into something else. A lot of times, something magical happens when we get married; These desires take on a new name–”Expectation”. Unlike desire, expectation says “you have to do/give this or else…”. Expectation makes us lose that feeling of excitement and hope because now we wake up and everything is just an obligation that we have to fulfill. With expectation, wives tend to lose that sense of admiration and respect for their husbands because now he is just doing what he’s supposed to do as the man of the house. Expectation causes men to forget all about that unconditional love they promised to give their wives because now wives are just performing her duties. All of a sudden, all the joy, unity, intimacy, and beauty in a relationship fade because the desires have become something that God never intended.

God has loved us with an unconditional love– and He has commanded husband and wives to love the same way.

My prayer is that I will always remember to say thank you to my husband for EVERYthing he does for us–from getting me my favorite wheat pandesal, to trying his best to provide for us….and for our desires to remain as such, until the day they become reality for us.