I met up with some other wives and moms this morning and each one just talked about their love story. It’s still February, so I guess you can still say that we did this as part of the celebration of the love month. Anyway, listening to these women tell their love stories was so amusing because you can see their eyes begin to sparkle, and their faces begin to glow as their smiles get wider and wider from the wonderful memories.

These were some of the things I was reminded of as we listened and laughed at our stories:

1. I should pray that we would never lose that sparkle and glow when it comes to our marriages and each time we talk about our marriages.

2. Though memories of the past are good things to hold on to, we should not just live on the glory of those past memories. Each day is an opportunity to create new ones.

3. We should try to always remember the things that attracted us to our spouses in the first place. As we become more and more familiar with each other, it becomes easier and easier to just notice the things that fall short of our standards or that irritate us. What it this way when we were still in courtship?

4. So much of what attracted me to my husband wasn’t just the physical traits, but more of how his heart was more passionate for God  more than anything else. This is a good thing, because physical attraction would never be enough to sustain a marriage. Sooner or later, all the physical traits that attracted us to our spouses will change and fade away; what will remain and improve as time goes by is his heart for God, and his character that gets developed as he grows in his relationship with God. I have to pray that  my husband’s heart will always be passionate for God above all.

5. Our love story doesn’t end once we say our “I do’s” at the altar. We have to be deliberate in building on our love story until death do us part.

Found this post again among the files I managed to “salvage” back when my site’s host failed me. This one’s dated June 19, 2009, but I still think it serves as a good reminder for me.

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We just came home from our good friends’ bridal shower and stag party (same house, different rooms for the men and women). I have to hand it to Steph’s (the soon-to-be bride) siblings…you all did a great job organizing it! The theme was anything kitchen, which I loved since all the prizes were useful. Had I known, I would have participated more than I have instead of just eating during the first few games!

** fast forward**

The last activity was for the married couples to give tips on “How to have a happy marriage”. This is what I came up with in the few minutes given to us:

H- Have a clear vision for your marriage. How do you want your marriage to look and be like?

A- Appreciate more than criticize. The latter is easier to do, but the former feels better and actually  yields much more results.

P- Pray together. I acknowledge that apart from the grace of God and complete reliance on Him, I probably will be more prone to doing everything else contrary to what the Bible teaches us on having great marriages.

P- Pay attention to each other’s needs and desires. “Pay attention” being the key word here. “To Each other”, too.

I- Inspire your partner to dream big. You have the wonderful privilege of being your spouse’s number one fan; being the president of his/her fan club— with front row seats and VIP passes to all the great things that he/she will be doing!

….You also have the power to crush all those dreams— in which case, you both end up just watching from the bleachers.

N- Never stop trying out new things. Having a routine and having responsibilities don’t have to be boring. It’s really up to both of you.

E- Enjoy sex.  (this one, ONLY when you’re ALREADY married!) ….No explanations needed.

S- Serve each other. You are in that marriage to serve and build up….not the other way around.

S- Savor every moment, even those that seem insignificant. Marriage is one exciting union! Every moment together is a blessing and is made to be a joy. Don’t just let those moments pass you by (parang Kodak lang yan…)

If any of you have other tips, feel free to write them!   I love learning from all of you!

PS: Mika’s on her way to recovery. She’s starting to eat again! yipee! ...(**Aah….so Mika was sick last June 2009, eh? Well, she’s been one healthy little girl since last year! )

**edit:

PPS: May I add? Can we change the spelling of “happiness” by adding one more -s at the end???

S- Say sorry. A lot of times, this is more powerful than the words “I love you”.  :)

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photo: theminimalists.com

Dear Dennis,

I don’t think I will ever get tired of telling you how much I appreciate you and how truly thankful I am for you. I don’t think I will ever get tired of spending time with you, even if we’ve already spent the whole day together and we’ve exhausted all possible points of conversation for the day (if that were possible). I don’t think I will ever get tired of thanking God for you, for each day I see how and why in His sovereignty, He brought us together. (Uuy, parang wedding vows ang tunog nito a! haha!)

Wait, parang pang anniversary! But it’s not our anniversary!

Let me shift the mode….

Happy birthday to one great man.  :)

I admire how you love God more than anyone or anything else in this world, and how you live to please Him, not men.

I admire how you make decisions and live each day, knowing who to listen to—- yes, that’s right, ME!!! :D

…ay wait, baka may makabasa at maniwala….

You know who to listen to— you know whose you are and you follow Him with all your heart, mind, and strength.

I admire how you commit to your work, not because you get paid to do it, but because you truly love people and you love seeing how God can change lives.

I admire how you are faithful in whatever it is that is given to you, even when no one would ever know.

I admire how you are the same person when others are around, and when it is just us.

I admire how you never stop learning, and how you remain humble and teachable.

I admire how secure you are, not because you feel that you have all the reasons to be secure, but because your security is not based on yourself. Rather, you get all your security from God.

I admire how you lead us— the church and your family…You lead with no sense of entitlement whatsoever, but you lead by serving us.

I admire how you have decided to live your life doing the will of God, even if that meant giving up certain things the world would consider as “success”.

I admire how you have decided to live this life, not for yourself, but to serve God and people.

Oh, how easy it is for us to love you, ga.

You are a blessing not just to me, or the kids, but to thousands of people whose lives you have touched….and I know you will continue to be a blessing to millions more as you go on obeying God’s will for your life.

I am one privileged woman to be having the chance to journey alongside you and support you in whatever, and wherever God will take you. What a joy it is to serve you and to love you! What an honor it is to be your wife, your best friend, your partner.

The kids and I are so proud of you, ga. Always have been, always will be.

We are proud of you. I am proud of you.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in our lives. Grabe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much!!!

Happy birthday!

Found this in my office file this morning. It’s dated August 24, 2011. I think I wrote it down someplace else because we didn’t have internet that time.

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I attended the Metro Manila Staff Meeting the other day and was glad to once again hear Pastor Steve Murrell give a short word to exhort the staff.

The main point of his message was on remembering. “Memories are what guard the soul”, he said. Of course, there are some memories that are better left stored away in the deepest recesses of the brain, or if possible– erased, but for the most part, memories are what keep us grounded.

If we remember how we were before Christ saved us and did his transforming work in us, it humbles us.

If we remember how God always came through for us and has remained faithful, it encourages us.

If we remember what life has taught us even through the mistakes we have made, it makes us wiser.

Remembering can really be a good thing for our souls.

The same is true for our marriages. Remembering the right things can guard our marriages and keep us strong. I say “the right things” because we certainly would not want to remember and keep a record of wrongs—either ours or our spouse’s. Remembering the right things can definitely make our marriages sweeter. Too often we can get caught up with life that we fail to remember just why we married this man/woman we wake up to every day. What a blessing it is to remember how you both were when you were still getting to know each other or when you were on your honeymoon stage. If we remember what we said in front of the altar on our wedding day, there will be less fights and less couples frustrated at each other.

Lord, thank you for the gift of memory. Thank you for reminding us to remember, because we are such forgetful people. Help us to remember the right things in our walk with you, and in our marriages. Help us to go through life enjoying and building more memories. 

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photo: rpmbold.wordpress.com

You know how they say that every moment is a teachable moment? Whether we are at home playing or eating, or out caught in traffic, there is always an opportunity to teach our little ones.

I’ve embraced that “truth”. I admit I have a tendency to over-explain things (meaning, explain even trivial matters), but I do try to be as concise as I can possibly be as I do this.

With Alyanna, it seems that my efforts in explaining are never in vain. I can always see that she understands what I try to tell her, and she is even able to explain or challenge other people’s opinions and actions based on what she has come to understand as truth or what’s right.

Mika, on the other hand, well…. she’s Mika…..

CORRECTION/TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER ONE:

(While teaching her to honor and respect others with her words)

ME: “Mika, you have to be very careful with your words. You know your tongue is like a sword, it is so powerful….”

MIKA: *interrupts and beams as she has a light bulb moment* “Lite a swort but with teeth and a mouth??”

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TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER TWO:

(Out of the blue, while eating)

MIKA: “You know, diba mom Jesus died for us on the tross (cross)?   Hala. That’s why we need another Jesus na. Let’s  find another Jesus.”

(Uhm, anak, idolatry ata tawag dun!)

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CORRECTION/TEACHABLE MOMENT NUMBER THREE:

(While trying to settle a dispute between the two girls)

MIKA: (trying to defend herself and explain what had happened) “No I didn’t do any-tin to huh but she keets sayin that I did any-tin to huh! (I didn’t do anything to her but she keeps saying that I did….I think she meant ‘something’… to her)

ME: “So who’s lying and who’s telling the truth?”

MIKA: “I’m not lyin’! Achie’s lyin!’”

ME: “Mika, you know the Bible tells us to keep our tongue from evil and our lips from speaking lies. Lying is a sin. Do you know that?”

MIKA: “Yes.”

ME: “Do you know what lying means?”

MIKA: “Yes.”

ME: “What does it mean?”

MIKA: “Not obeyin’ you?”

ME: “Mika, lying is when we are not telling the truth; when we are not telling what really happened only and when we make up our own story. SO are you making up your own story or are you telling me the truth?”

MIKA: “ Telling you the truth.”

ME: “Are you telling me the truth or making up your own story?”

MIKA: “Making up my own story.”

Hmm…Oh no. I know where this is going……nowhere.

Like I said, she’s Mika.

Each time I begin to think that Mika is finally getting something I am teaching her, she makes sure to let me know otherwise.  A lot of times, I have to ask for discernment to know whether it’s innocence, ignorance, or rebellion disguised in cute’s clothing. Still, I do not stop planting seeds of God’s Word because I just never know when it will finally click and she would finally get it.

After all, the clicking part is not really our job anymore. We can plant the seeds, but we can’t force the growth out of them. All we can do is be faithful in planting and cultivating, guiding and praying…..and wait for God’s Word to grow in their hearts and  bear much fruit.

I was trying to make sense of my schedule tonight. Without realizing it, I have been saying yes to people and yes to a lot of responsibilities since the beginning of this year (or has it been this way for a number of years now??), more than what is necessary. It’s so much easier to say yes, isn’t it?? I don’t have to feel bad for turning down some people or some tasks….as long as I say yes. Of course, it is also such a joy to spend time with people and to build relationship with them. My love language is time, so any invitation to hang out is difficult for me to say no to– especially when there’s food involved (correction: my love language is time AND food). Almost always, I am more than willing to spend my time doing things that I love, for people that I love (or I’d love to get to know and love)…and forget about how much time I can actually afford to give them. For example, I’d set an appointment with someone and tell that person I can meet her for an hour. An hour would pass, then two, then three..and I still would not be able to find it in me to tell that person that I have to go and do something else. I tell myself that I’d just adjust the rest of my schedule and try to offset whatever time was  ”lost” by waking up extra extra early or sleeping extra extra late. Of course we all know that this would domino down to the household duties, parenting duties, wife duties….and all other areas we still need to take care of. This happens with all other chores too. I love taking care of the home, so much so that I don’t mind not sleeping just to finish whatever task I am preoccupied with.

If I just look at things superficially, everything actually looks fine. It is good that I spend time with people. It is good that I make sure the house is orderly. It is good that I am with the kids practically everyday. It is good that I can do ministry stuff that I so love, in support of my husband’s work. It is good that my nights are more or less set to be with Dennis. It all looks good.

“Looks” good.

But I just know I need to do some tweaking. I feel I am spreading myself too thin, compromising whatever BEST I can actually give to my family.

So tonight I listed down everything that I have on my plate (I wonder why this sentence makes me want to go out and grab something to eat??). I ended up overwhelmed, having a whole web of words on my notebook! I actually had to solicit Dennis’ help, since he is my schedule-and-strategy go-to guy. He helped—–a bit. He was able to get two things off my plate, but that was about it. His conclusion was: “There’s really not much you can do about your responsibilities, except put a specific time for each of those names/tasks…or to put a specific name to your time.”

Gee. Thanks a lot. :I

No, really… Thanks a lot. Put a name to your time— I hate to be legalistic with my time, but this may be what I need to focus on in the next couple of months or so…get used to putting a name to my time, and not let another name take over.

Hmm….there’s a word for this……

Is it DISCIPLINE??

Ah. Don’t we all love this word?

Anyway, as I was attempting to make sense of my days, I began to wonder how I made it last year with everything that went on. It was by far the most unstable year for us and I could not even figure out how we managed to get by. Then I remembered my other mom-friends who have to work aside from having to fulfill their tasks at home. Then I thought of my other mom-friends who have a lot more kids than me, and also minister to a gazillion number of people.

I could only conclude one thing from tonight’s thought-processing: The only way for me to have had managed the way I did so far has been by grace, and that’s how I will continue to manage. The only way that all my other mom-friends (both working and stay-at-home) are making it is by grace. As my friend Belle would put it, “Best friend natin si Grace” (“Grace is our best friend.”).

I pray for all of you, mom-friends– both “working” in and out of the home, that grace will be your best friend.

That our definition of getting by is not just being able to manage for purposes of survival, but being able to manage with much joy… and our sanity well in tact, too. I pray that this week, we will be able to say no to the things that are really not a matter of life and death, and say yes only to the things that God calls us to do.

To summarize: Let us make this week Project Plato. For me, this would entail unloading some things off my plate, which God is not really telling me to do, and also– literally unloading my plate…. each time I eat.

We can do this!!!!