Play and listen to classical music while pregnant.

(Are there other ways to ensure you have a healthy and brilliant child even while in the womb?? Do it!!!)

Give birth via Lamaze.

Exclusively breastfeed up to two years.

Stimulate your child’s brain from birth.

Encourage your child’s development as early as possible— the first three years of your child are critical in determining how they would turn out in the future!

Give your child a headstart. Enroll your child in school as early as possible. The only way for them to survive in the next decade is to have a competitive edge.

Potty train your child before he/she turns one.

These are all the “great” advice I heard and followed when I had my first child. These were what all the books and articles and marketers would tell me when I tried to research on how I could “love” my child best and raise my child well. At that time I didn’t know any better.

Of course I wanted the best for my child! Who doesn’t?? Of course I wanted my child to be brilliant and possibly be a genius! Who wouldn’t??

And so I did what every loving mother would do: I played and listened to classical music during pregnancy; I gave birth via Lamaze; I exclusively breastfed up to two years; I hand-made several “infant-stimulating” devices and toys (too expensive to buy!); At some point I tried to potty train before my child was really ready; At one point I tried to enroll my child at an early age…all those things that a “loving” mother would do for her children. No less than the BEST.

But was it really all for my children?? Or was it all really for me? Did I really do all those things because I knew that was how God wanted me to raise my children, or did I do all those things because it was what the world was telling me to do?? Did God set that standard for me, or did I set that for myself? Was it really to give my children no less than the best, or was it because I wanted to feel good about myself — to be able to say that “I did this….because it was for the best” with a sweet smile of false humility?? Was I honoring God “more” because I did all those things, or was I trying to take part in His glory??

What about those who did not get to do all those “advice” and live up to the “best standards”, for reasons that no one would even care to know? ….Does that mean they love their children any less?? Does that mean they don’t give their children their best??

We live in a world that sets us moms up for two things: a sense of shame when we fail to perform according to the “BEST” that’s expected, and a sense of pride when we are able to perform according to its “BEST” standards. Sadly, we easily enter into this trap. We live in a world that’s so performance-oriented, that even how we are when pregnant and how we give birth and how we feed our children now have the ability to dictate how we see ourselves as mothers.

I really have nothing against some of these pieces of advice, because a lot of them are actually scientifically sound and backed up by studies, and really are good for our children. I would still hope to give birth via Lamaze for all my future pregnancies because I want my labor to be as free from drugs (medicines) as possible; and I still look forward to nursing my future children for as long as I can and as long as it’s healthy. All these are well and good, but it always goes back to the heart. Once we do things out of fear (our kids might end up stupid, our kids might end up sickly, our kids might up….drugged??), then something is not right. Once we do it with any hint of wanting to be patted on the back and get the “Mom of the Century” Award, something’s off.

I know I seem to be taking it to the extreme.  Why, I wouldn’t deny that I LOVE it when people compliment me on my child-rearing and parenting. I love it when I get noticed for all the hard work and sleepless nights that I do that oftentimes do not get any recognition. I love it!

But this is also exactly why I constantly have to check my heart. It’s nice to get recognized. It’s another thing to want to get the glory. It’s nice to be complimented on our parenting skills. It’s another thing to make that the goal. What makes one different from the other is pride.

“The Lord opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6; Proverbs 3:34)

I’d rather go after the grace. I know sooner or later I won’t be able to keep up trusting on my own efforts. I know sooner or later I would realize my performance just won’t do. My skills just won’t be enough. My knowledge would be….zero. I know sooner or later I would always be reminded of how clueless I am and inadequate I am as a parent….left to myself.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in (your) weakness.”  (2 Cor. 12:9)

I’d rather move in the grace. I’d rather do things with the premise that I am not doing things on my own and for myself. I choose to experience God’s perfect power  rather than my mediocre ability.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  (Philippians 4:13)

At the end of the day, I’d rather do things through Christ, who strengthens me. Instead of striving to create a “super-talented-extremely-gifted-genius-breastfed-infant-stimulated-everyday-educated-superchild”,  I’d rather look to Him and take my instructions from the One who created my children in the first place.

I dare not forget that I am, in fact, able to do all these things only through Christ, who gives me strength and grace…. And that His GRACE given to me and my children, will always be better than any of the “BEST” that I can give to them.  :)

…..And now, it’s daddy’s turn!

By now, I’m sure you’re pretty much all set and ready to go into labor.

As important as getting all of mom’s gadgets and baby’s things ready, is making sure that daddy is all packed and ready to go, too! Here is a checklist that I hope would help you as you get everything set for the big day. I will also include some random tips that come to mind as I go along typing…

- Food (I must say it again, nothing with a strong smell please!)
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Cellphone
- Your wallet ….and make sure it has cash!!
- Watch
- Book / Ipod …anything to keep you preoccupied in case labor progresses slowly (in our case, ipod and a deck of cards were very helpful)
- Paracetamol (just in case the hunger/lack of sleep/tension gets the best of you and your body suddenly decides that the time of labor is also the best time to act in protest)….husbands, we appreciate and love you, but when it’s labor day, don’t expect any help from anyone when it comes to meeting YOUR needs

- Towel
- Change of clothes
- Slippers

1. Remember, you’re in charge of the camera and all other documentation gadgets
2. You may want to have some copies of the patient information, too
3. Put all necessary documents in one envelope and take on the responsibility of handling them
4. Even if your wife is most probably the one who packed the bags (labor bag, baby’s bag, etc.), please know where everything is, so when she’s in too much pain and asks for something (or too groggy and would need to wake up and nurse the baby), you won’t have to ask her what and where that lip balm or burp cloth is
5. We know you love us and you do feel for us, but in your effort to comfort us during labor, please don’t ever imply that you feel our pain…When tempted to say it, just DON’T.
6. Go with the flow. Most of the time, the techniques we learn in birthing classes just don’t seem to work all of a sudden. Relax. That’s just how it is….go with the flow…
7. A week or two prior to the due date, get enough sleep and rest. You’d be needing it. We need you to stay strong for us.
8. As much as possible, don’t take on too many appointments around this time either.
9. Plan ahead– where should you position your camera? What’s the best angle, just so you can see the baby as he/she comes out and yet make it censored enough to show your family and friends?
10. Don’t show signs of panic– even if you’re about to have a heart attack. Pray with your wife and for your wife out loud. Remind her of your mantra. Tell her how well she’s doing. Realize that your mere presence and support give her a thousand times more strength and courage as you BOTH go through this.

*Dennis, thank you for being a great great labor partner! You’re the best! ‘Till next time…. (after many many years)

Last night, while reading bedtime stories to the girls…

Mika: “Mom, I’m so happy so I’m donna make a baby boy for you!” (This declaration came with a great big smile too!)

Me: “Really?!? How will you do that??”

Mika: *Now sporting a wide grin across her face*  “Seek-let!“

“…and then I’m donna wrap our baby boy in plastic and I’m donna surprise you!”

Me: (Huwag Anak, baka hindi siya makahinga!)

….Wouldn’t it be great if it really were that easy, though??

“Seek-let!!!”

Oops! It’s been four days since I last checked in?!? Sorry. I didn’t realize it until I checked the last entry I wrote. The past few days went by quickly since we often had to leave the house early and we usually got home very late. Poor kiddos. Here’s the upside: now I can write again since they took a nap two hours earlier than usual this afternoon.

I’ve been wanting to write this entry since we got home last Saturday from a friend’s baby shower. Unfortunately, my brain just couldn’t muster enough energy to function every time we got home. I’m still posting it though, since I’m pretty sure it would help a lot of new moms out there.

This is just a compilation of the advice that were given by other moms, dads, and even single ladies who were there. I’d have to say they were all full of wisdom!

“Nap when the baby naps” –I agree! You’d really need this!

“Be flexible.” — Every child is different, so we would have to adjust accordingly. This is applicable not just in the infancy stage.

“When you feel inadequate as a mom, remember that God hand-picked you to be your child’s mom. The wisdom of God is enough to help you raise up your child.”– Love this.

“Whenever you feel stressed out, remember that ‘this, too shall pass.’ Be reminded that every stage your baby is in is just for a season so you have to learn to enjoy it.” — This  goes for labor too! Lalabas din yan!

“Stay connected with other moms.”– This is one good therapy for keeping our sanity.

Here are some of the best tips from the dads:

“Prioritize your wife.”

“Don’t just be a servant, be a slave!”

“Be hands on.”

“Enjoy every stage, it’ll come by really fast.”

“Treasure every moment. Document as much as you can.”

“Give you wife some time off.”

….and all the wives say, “Amen.”

Next up, advice from the single ladies– all of whom I know will be great moms!

“Give you wife the budget to pamper herself.” – oh yeah!!

“Pray for your child.”

“Be expressive in showing your love for your child”

“Let your child know that you’re with them even through the difficult times.”

I am very blessed to be surrounded by people who constantly remind me how to better parent my children. An even greater blessing is having a Heavenly Father who models for us what it means to love unconditionally, to be patient, to be kind, to be forgiving….who first parents us, and gives us the grace and wisdom to parent our children.

PS: Here’s a cute gift idea from our friend Voice Romualdo– a personalized fill-in-the-pictures scrapbook of the baby shower!