Moms, happy mother’s day to all of you!

It is my prayer that you will continue to find extraordinary joy in the seemingly ordinary things you do each day. I pray that you will be strengthened in every way— to do the tasks that are expected from you, as you fulfill the roles entrusted to you. As you look forward to seeing the fruit of all your labor ten, twenty years down the road, may you find complete satisfaction and peace in the knowledge that you are right where God has called you to be, doing the very things he has assigned you to do. I pray that you will continue to be filled with wisdom and much grace as you shepherd the hearts of your children. May you be reminded today and always of how much of a treasure you are, not just in the lives of your children, but in the generations to come after them.

I once heard somebody say that out of all the relationships we are blessed with on this earth, that of being a parent to our children is the one that will eventually require us to “let go”. In that sense, we can say that our parenting “task” is temporary. We only have a few years given to us to mold and teach our children. After which, we must trust that the seeds we have planted into their hearts and minds will bear lasting fruit. We must trust that all the teaching and training we have deposited into their lives will pay off and be a blessing to them, so they can be a blessing to the world they are in.

Our task is temporary, but our role— and the outcome of fulfilling our roles— affect eternity.

Have a wonderful day, mom-friends! You are blessed!

After a couple of days, I now get to use my laptop again.  Is it just me or have I really been relatively “silent” the past few weeks??

I have been feeling quite guilty the past few days, since the doctor ordered that I stay away from anything that could cause any stress or tension. She advised against homeschooling (we’re THIS close too, you know? — THIS close to finishing!); Action flicks or series are a no-no;  And personally, I haven’t had the drive to go on the net either— not even to write.

I expressed this sense of “guilt” to Dennis (nothing serious though)— how I haven’t done any housework in a long time, how I haven’t been able to homeschool, to blog….And what he said greatly reassured and encouraged me: “Yes you could be a homeschool teacher now, a housewife, or a blogger….but right now, you have to choose to just be a mother. Nothing else. That’s your priority now.” (He actually said this in English ha! hehe ) As the doctor said, the priority now is to protect this baby that’s in my womb and to try to help it thrive.

I know this sounds so basic, and it really should be something that I should’ve grasped already, but again, there are just times when you need someone to say it to you out loud. I am really not used to not doing anything and not seeing any fruit or evidence of productivity in this household as far as I’m concerned, and so….there are random moments when I am just itching to be able to move about already. But I thank God for the wisdom of my husband, who constantly reminds me that the purpose of bed rest is really to be able to REST.

I guess it’s always a good thing to be reminded of this thing called priority. Making something a priority is a choice we deliberately make. It means out of all the the many things that I can do, out of all the demands that I feel I have to do— THIS is what I choose to devote my time and efforts in.

When we look at our budget and checkbooks, what do they give away? What do we value? When we check our calendars, what do they tell of what we have chosen to take priority? When we assess how we build and keep our relationships, what do they say about what is truly important to us?

Whether we are aware of it or not, we make choices everyday as to what our priorities are. I hope we make choices, not only based on what will satisfy our current interests or fulfill our ambitions, but based on the roles we have been given— as wives, as mothers, as women of purpose.

“I got it from her, then she grabbed it from me!”, stated one of the Sy sisters.

Do you notice the craftiness of this statement?

Sister A was playing with something then sister B simply “got” it (of course, sister B is the narrator, therefore the good girl, in the story here). She didn’t take it by force, she didn’t grab it, she just….”got” it. It was okay for her to get it.  Getting something doesn’t sound so aggressive or rude.

But what came next was so wrong— sister A “grabbed” it back! Oh that was wrong! It was rude, it was selfish and it was disrespectful! Sister A needs to be dealt with!

Oh so crafty….

It’s amazing how young children are already so capable of playing with words and using them in such a way that they can water down their own sin and highlight that of their “adversary”.

Of course Dennis and I didn’t buy this one bit. Sister B had to know that she wasn’t just “getting” something. She, too, was grabbing. More importantly, she had to know that she does not have the liberty to change the label of her sin just to make it sound more acceptable.

Isn’t this our default response in general though? When we sin, the natural response of our flesh is to change the label of our sin to make it seem more palatable. It is much easier to confess our sin once we have tweaked it a bit and made it sound less sinful and selfish. In a world where being politically correct is a must, we have gotten used to choosing our words and making them work for our advantage. It’s really no wonder why more and more of our children are growing up not knowing the weight of sin, or that sin is sin. More children grow up thinking that sin is relative, and the consequence of their sin is relative too. The consequence of their sin is now highly dependent on how well they “repackage” it.

As parents, we are to see beyond actions and hear beyond words. We are to look into the hearts of our children. We are to see beyond the packaging and know what is really inside.

More than that, it is also our responsibility to expose sin for what it really is— ugly, messy, harmful. It is our responsibility to show our children that there’s no way around sin— there’s no way to package it or water it down; there’s no way to minimize its consequences either. Sin is sin and that is that. Sin is ugly. And our sin simply exposes our hearts and the ugliness of our flesh.

Finally, when they see sin for what it is, it is our role to show our children the grace and love of God. When they finally learn that there’s no way they can sugar coat or relabel sin to make it any less sinful, we have to be ready to point them to Christ, who already took away all our sin, therefore allowing us to do away with the need to repackage. We have to be ready to make them understand that because of Christ, we have already been justified, freeing us from the need to having to justify ourselves and our actions. We want to make sure that we show them that because of Christ, we have a new identity—a new label, so now we can stop looking for “better” labels for our sin…because now our sins do not define us any more. Only Christ’s work on the Cross does.

I hope my children will understand this— that they are free to confess their sins for what they really are, because God already made the promise that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from ALL (our) unrighteousness”.

I seldom see Dennis over-react to something. He’s not like me who SOMETIMES just wants to exaggerate every emotion and reaction. Hehe…. God, in His sovereignty, knew that he had to create a Dennis who is stable in his emotions, to give to a Thammie who is….well, a woman.

What I witnessed earlier, however, was something quite out of the ordinary. Upon waking up, Mika rushed over to us to tell us about something very exciting. One could tell how excited she was to share what she had to share from her smile, her eyes, her tone of voice….well, just about everything. I guessed that the reason for the excitement was because she was about to tell us about her summer class. I was right— it was about that….somewhat.

I initially thought that Mika was excited simply because it’s the first time that we enrolled the kids to any summer class (That’s right. After six years of Alyanna’s existence, she finally knows what it’s like to have summer classes!). But more than the activities, Mika went on to tell us about something else:

Mika: “Mom! A guy in my class told me, ‘Oh, you’re sooo tyoot (cute)! I want to kiss you!” …And then he tissed (kissed) me! And then we all started laughing. My other classmates also started laughing because he tissed me and said that I was tyoot! But it’s otay (okay) because he just tissed me on the cheets (cheeks) lang! ”

Me: *semi-shocked but trying to contain myself* “Uh-huh. I see…..okay…go tell dad about it….”

I then motioned for Dennis to listen and PAY ATTENTION. He was playing NBA at the time that Mika told me about it (FYI: NBA = physically present but mentally absent unless otherwise requested to be present mentally as well).

Mika: “Dad! A guy in my class told me, ‘Oh, you’re sooo tyoot (cute)! I want to kiss you!” …And then he tissed (kissed) me! And then we all started laughing. My other classmates also started laughing because he kissed me and said that I was tyoot! But it’s otay (okay) because he just tissed me on the cheets (cheeks) lang!” *excitement still showing*

Daddy: *drops the iPad and turns to Mika….then points his finger to emphasize the importance of what he was about to say* “What?!?! Okay, the next time a guy does that to you, you tell me right away okay? I’m going to fight the guy and get mad at him!”

Innocent little four-year old Mika: *gulp* …and I assume there was a thought bubble that said “Uh, did I say something wrong???”

After a few seconds, she said “O–kay…”, but she still had that “gulp”-y expression on her face.

Mighty emotionally-stable mom to the rescue!!!

Me: “Oh, Mika. *big smile* How nice noh? They think you’re so cute, maybe because you are so kind to them, huh? *big smile*….But the next time someone tells you that they want to kiss you, just tell them right away that you can only kiss mom and dad okay?” *big smile*

Dennis: *starting to get my drift….now trying to sound calm* “Yes, and remember the ONLY boy who can kiss you until you have a husband is daddy. NOBODY ELSE. Okay????”

Mika: *back to her excited self* “Or maybe I can just tell them only the cheets is allowed??”

Dennis: “NO! Not even the cheeks. Only daddy. No boy is allowed to kiss you!”

….Okay…. Dennis, you still have about ten years (I hope) to work on your “my-daughter-just-said-the-word-boy!” responses.

Good thing you have a very calm and stable wife, eh? hehehe ;D

Yesterday, I shared with you some of my notes from a seminar I attended (Raising Money Smart Kids). Today I would like to share one more thing that encouraged me as I sat through the seminar. More than the practical tips and financial advice I got, what I actually appreciated more was the fact that the whole family was involved in the event. As you sit there and listen, you would know what their family stood for. Of course, saving and making money grow were obvious interests that ran from the parents to the children, but more than financial values, you could tell that the Faustos stood for family— that family was a priority. I appreciated the fact that they not only brought their children with them to listen, and perhaps offer moral support, but all three children were actually present to also contribute their ideas on the topic.

Their eldest son, Martin.

Their second son, Enrique.

The youngest Fausto– Anton.

(I just edited and added this. Thank you Rose, for sending me a photo!:)) 

Eep! I can’t believe I wasn’t able to take a picture of their youngest son! ….But this is a cute picture of the couple, don’t you think?

I seldom see this nowadays, and so it quite refreshing and encouraging. I wish to see more parents and children involved in each other’s lives (in a positive way)— even beyond their teenage years. I hope to see more of the next generation rise up as a response to the mentoring and discipleship that occur in their homes. I am believing for more children who will grow up to embrace the values that their parents would teach them.

Of course, I also pray for the parents, that we will be the first ones who will lovingly guide and shepherd our children’s hearts. I pray that we will not need to shove our values down their throats, but that as we live our lives with integrity, they would want to embrace our faith and values as well. I pray that the things we love and believe in, would be a family affair— in agreement with our spouse, and owned by our children.

We attended a seminar last weekend on Raising Money Smart Kids by Rose Fres Fausto, author of Raising Pinoy Boys. Coming from a family who didn’t talk much about money matters, this was very helpful.

Here are some of my notes:

1. KNOW YOUR OWN MONEY VALUES.  Your values serve as the foundation for all your decisions. If what you do with your money do not agree with    your core values, there will still be no joy there.

2. HAVE CONSISTENT MONEY VALUES WITH YOUR SPOUSE. You cannot teach anything if you are not united.

3. START YOUR CHILDREN’S FINANCIAL LITERACY JOURNEY. The best time to start is as soon as they are born. The second best time to start is now.

4.  TEACH THEM THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NEEDS AND WANTS. Live within your means.

5. TRAIN YOURSELF TO BE SAVERS. Pay yourself first.

6. GO BEYOND SAVING. INVEST FOR GROWTH. Teach children that you don’t just save so you have something to spend. We don’t want them to think that as soon as they have the money they can just spend any way they want. Try at the very start to expose them to things where they could earn money.

7. MAKE SAVING AND INVESTING REGULAR AND AUTOMATIC. Our objective is to accumulate real wealth, and real walth doesn’t happen overnight. It is a fruit of regular, consistent, small steps. We want saving to become second-nature for our kids in terms of handling money. The idea is to make it automatic so much so that it becomes harder not to save.

8. USE EVERYDAY THINGS AS TEACHABLE MOMENTS.

9. TEACH THEM THE VALUE OF HARDWORK AND PATIENCE.

10. TEACH THEM HOW TO MAKE THEIR BALANCE SHEET (Statement of Asset, Liabilities, Net Worth).

Some extra notes:

• Work on a healthy self esteem in our children. Then the peer pressure to have the latest or nicest things will not matter that much.
• Show them that money is a tool for helping others.
• Do not overgive to your children.

What I love about attending seminars that have anything to do with teaching our kids is that it forces me to assess my character and habits first. I cannot give what I do not have; I cannot teach what I do not know; I cannot impart what I am not. I thank God for giving me tools that sharpen me and my character, helping me to be more effective in training my children.

Thank you and congratulations to Rose and her boys on a successful seminar!

Dennis and I with the speaker, Rose Fausto