Please don’t get me wrong. I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I breastfed both of my girls– one until I got pregnant again, and the other until she was a little over two. I love, love, looooove breastfeeding! And I would fight with all I have to still be able to nurse my next babies— even if it means having to go through the initial pain of breastfeeding again. It is all worth it!
Having said that, it is always my joy to support my friends in their efforts to breastfeed as well. I remember some instances that I’ve had to get up in the middle of the night to answer phone calls from mom-friends who needed some encouragement. I love doing research for other people regarding breastfeeding. I rejoice with moms when they are finally out of the painful phase and into enjoying the full benefits– both for them and for their babies– of breastfeeding.
Now, why did you have to put such a negative title then, Thammie?? You may ask (or not)….Well, with all the articles and blog posts we get to read nowadays, it’s not so uncommon to hear moms share about their various experiences on breastfeeding. Of course, there are so many encouraging success stories, but there are also those who share how they feel guilty and stressed once they bring home their newborns from the hospital and they still are not able to nurse properly or provide sufficient milk. It’s as if they feel they are not giving enough to their babies. Some, on the other hand, feel that they are finally “real” moms once they are able to finally nurse their babies, as if those who– for whatever reason, are not able to– are any less real. Some moms, when asked about their breastfeeding journey, feel they have to defend themselves if they feel they were not able to nurse their babies long enough, or even if they did, why they had to stop.
I feel that for some reason, what was created to just bring about joy and health, has caused some unnecessary emotions that are, more than anything— imposed on self, as a result of pressure from society.
Here’s my only point for this post, really: Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift given to us moms. It is absolutely beneficial— physically, emotionally, mentally— for both baby and mom. It feels incredibly wonderful to breastfeed our babies. And it is a huge relief to daddies and their wallets! BUT… your success in breastfeeding does NOT define you as a mom. There is more to parenting and motherhood than being able to successfully let your baby latch on and get nourishment from you. There is more to you as a parent than just fulfilling a certain standard of the “twenty-first century supermom”. That is not what would define your worth as a mother. That is not what defines you, period.
If I may put it so bluntly, you are worth more than your breasts.
* I’ve come across several posts that I thought were completely wiped out, but were fortunately cached by Google. I’d be posting those for the next few days.
Here’s one that I originally published last January 11, 2010, when I was about to wean Mika.
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“If you haven’t weaned your child by 18 months, it’s very difficult to do so until about 36 months,” says Ruth Lawrence, MD, a professor of pediatrics and obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Rochester School of Medicine.
Oh no. Nobody mentioned this to me before.
A month from now my second daughter Mikaela would be turning two– which means I would have to wean her completely. I didn’t really worry much about this before, mainly because the thought of having to wean her from breastfeeding saddens me. I am a very “touchy” person, and so is Mika…so aside from that fact that breastmilk has a lot of benefits for our babies, this is really why breastfeeding works so well for us– We both love the cuddle time.
*sigh* …I can’t believe I would have to stop really soon. I know I can actually choose to extend our nursing days, but I also feel I have to stop so I can “replenish” myself with nutrients if I am to have another baby sometime in the not-so-near yet not-so-far future.
With Alyanna, weaning was very easy. She was one year and four months old when I weaned her completely. The week that I decided to mix-feed her was the same week that I found out I was pregnant. All I did was stop giving her my breasts (we are all women here, right? ) and then she gave up without putting up much of a fight. Maybe because she was less than 18 months at that time? Could it be that the above statement by Dr. Lawrence is true? If it is, then should I expect that weaning Mika this time around would be much much harder? *argh* I dread to even imagine it…Even now, it seems that Mika is more attached to me. It is like she knows that I am planning on doing something that is not to her liking. Ever since the holidays, “Mommy!Carry me please!” or “Mommy, drink milk from your b—s please.” is what I’d hear from her all the time. Oh, Mika. Don’t you know this would make things all the more difficult for both of us??
I am expecting that my weaning process would be very much different from what I experienced with Alyanna, but I will probably try these:
1. Take it slow. Drop one feeding at a time, and replace it with formula or a meal…I’ve already started doing this. I only have three feeding times left.
2. Avoid our favorite nursing places and positions…this would be hard, since our favorite nursing positions are my favorite positions…period.
3. Distract her. I would have to cut our cuddle time in bed short, and move it someplace else, some place she won’t associate with breastfeeding.
4. Cuddle her some more…in different “settings”
5. Ignore her cries.
6. Keep ourselves busy-er…hopefully she’ll think there are more fun things to do after all.
7. Keep her full and satisfied with real food…this shouldn’t be so hard to do. She’s much like her mom.
That’s all I can think of for now. I know there’s not much of a plan here, but we’ll see. I’ll be trying them soon, and I shall let you know which work/s best. I am open to suggestions.
My last resort:
Apply olive oil that has been “infused” with garlic on your nipples as you breastfeed. Our babies (and us, and I’m sure our husbands too—the downside) will hate the odor from the garlic.
I’ve heard of someone who applied coldrub instead…I think anything with a strong scent/smell would do? Again, this would be my last resort. I don’t like the downside of this.
Lately I have noticed that it’s been very hard to get Mika to drink water. I’m not really a water person either (I’d rather save the space in my stomach so I could eat more ), but since I came across some articles on what water really does and what can happen to our bodies when we don’t drink enough of it, I got a little bit alarmed and I am now trying to get into the habit of drinking H2O (after 26 years of existence, it is just now that I realize my science teachers were not exaggerating after all). I even put it as a wall paper on my cell phone as a reminder for me.
My point was, I think my two daughters took on that bad habit. And since I have come to realize the error of my ways, I’ve been trying extra hard to get them to drink water.
So far so good with Alyanna. All I have to do is make it a prerequisite to everything she’d like to do or to have. For example, earlier I was having fresh buko juice over breakfast. Now juice–whether fresh or not, both girls really like. So I was not surprised when both of them started begging me for juice. I gave both of them the condition that I would give them fresh, yummy juice, if they finished their water. I told them that I needed them to empty their cups for me to be able to use the same cups for the juice.
Alyanna immediately took her cup filled with water and gulped down every drop, excited for the juice. Mika, on the other hand, still refused to drink water (even if it was just an ounce or two). Instead, she started whining and kept saying “joo! joo! pu joo!”, gesturing that I pour some juice into her cup. I kept telling her, “Drink your water so I can put juice in your cup.”, but she just didn’t seem to get it. The whining started to turn into a cry of frustration because she was not getting what she wanted. My point was just, “Empty your cup so I could fill it with what you really want.”
As we were going through that whole scene, a thought popped into my head. It was actually a very familiar scene that I was in. I realized that when it comes to our walk with God, many times we start whining and crying out to God, sometimes out of frustration for not getting our desires met. We think “But Lord, I’ve been a good daughter!”, “If you really love me, why couldn’t you just give me this thing that I’ve been asking for?”, “I know that what I’m praying for is according to your will naman, how come I’m still not getting it?”
…and God just looks at us and says, “Because you don’t get it. I just want you to empty your cup. Only then could I fill it with the best thing that would really satisfy you.”
I want to confess something I am semi-addicted to that I am afraid I am starting to pass on to my children: my love for cold, heaping Milo with lots of buo-buo (translation: already-insoluble granules).
Ever since I was a kid, I have been introduced to Milo and I could say I have mastered the art of enjoying this drink. And no, I don’t just drink it for the purpose of having some chocolate milk to drink— I savor it. I enjoy its every taste. I drink it and take it in… and then I scoop out every drop left on my cup.
Okay, hold on. I better stop. I’m starting to crave again.
Breathe in, breathe out….
Why did I start writing about Milo again?
Oh yes. The Expo.
Imagine my glee when I went to attend Nestle’s I Choose Wellness Expo at SM Megamall yesterday. The first booth I saw was Milo! Of course, I just had to line up and get my free “taste” (heehee as if I don’t know how it tastes like yet!). I was also excited to find out that they now offer Milo for adults. Again, I had to go get my free taste. “For assessment purposes“, I told myself. I wanted to see if it tasted any different from the “normal” Milo we grew up with. Overall, the taste is the same, except it was a little less sweet, which is a good thing, I guess.
Yay!
My kids are still scared of mascots, so ako nalang!
At the risk of sounding sentimental, I really got nostalgic when I visited the many different booths and activity areas yesterday. I realized that almost all the brands I grew up with are from Nestle. It is also quite a delight to learn that they are now advocating wellness for the family. I listened to some of the talks given yesterday and brought home three short points that I think we can all learn from, not just in the area of wellness.
1. Wellness is a choice.
…. So are all other things in life.
2. We need the support of those around us to be able to sustain our choice.
…. Thus, the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who will build us up and can speak into our lives.
3. We need to enjoy our journey to wellness.
…. As it is with our lives, we need to enjoy every season life brings us….and learn in the process.
Since we are in the topic of enjoying already, I’d like to share with how I choose to enjoy my Milo.
NOTE: This really has nothing to do with being healthy, but I promise you— IT’S REALLY GOOD!!!! Hehe! Enjoy!
This was a conversation that took place this afternoon while Alyanna and I were baking:
ALYANNA: (while mixing the ingredients, smiles and says…) “Mommy, I’m happy.”
ME: “You are? Why are you happy?” *big smile*
ALYANNA: “Because you gave me a chance.”
ME: “A chance?”
ALYANNA: “Um-hm..A chance to mix. Thank you mommy!”
Now, I’m sure most of you can relate when I say that everytime we let our kids in on what we’re doing, it would surely take more time and more mess…but compared to the joy it brings us (and them), we just end up with a sigh and we say, “oh, well!”
Anyway, here is a “recipe” (I’m not even sure you can call it that! The amounts I would place here are all based on my hands and eyes) of what we whipped up earlier:
HOMEMADE “HEALTH” BARS
2 cups oatmeal
1 cup bran flakes
1 cup chopped nuts
1/2 cup raisins
1/4 cup sesame seeds
4 tbsp wheatgerm
4 tbsp honey
a tiny amount of fructose (just to add some flavor)
a pinch or two of cinnamon
1/2 cup to 1 cup wheat flour (this, together with the water, is basically just to hold all the other ingredients together)
1/2 cup to 1 cup warm water
* Just mix all the dry ingredients (except flour), add the honey and fructose according to taste (not so much or it won’t be as “healthy” anymore), and mix in the flour and water last (I added this last so I can first make sure I liked the taste already).
* Mix everything well and spread out on a baking pan (the ones we use for brownies would be perfect). I greased the pan with a little olive oil.
* Bake at 180 degrees for around 15 minutes.
* Let it stand and cool, then slice away!
This is super fast and fun to do. Mika enjoyed it because it had so much texture. And it was actually impromptu. Those were the only ingredients I had that I felt might be of use and good thing it worked… somehow.
I don’t really know what it is about raisins, but kids generally love them. I myself do not remember the degree as to which I loved raisins as a child, but now I do like them with baked stuff (oatmeal cookies, walnut loaves, breads…anything baked!). Dennis likes them to a much higher level. He loves anything with raisins. In fact, there are some dishes that he doesn’t really like, but put some raisins on them, and he becomes okay with eating them (or wait, does he just eat the raisins off those dishes?? I have to check next time…). Anyway, my two girls are no different from their dad (or other kids). They love love love raisins. I think they can finish a whole can of raisins if I don’t stop them. It is such a treat for them. Raisins, to them, are what cakes are to me— the ultimate dessert. *kilig smile*
I was having a not-so-easy time feeding Mika yesterday. Usually, what works is if I give her the promise of having “dessert” after her meal. Usually it’s any kind of fruit. My kids love fruits and almost every meal time they ask for fruits. I usually just tell them they can have their choice of fruit after they eat their meal and they eat without a fuss, knowing there is the promise of what they consider a treat.
This time, it was a can of raisins. Alyanna saw them in our fridge and asked if she could have some after she finished her food and I gave her my okay. Anyway, they had to finish that can before it reaches the expiration date! Of course as expected, Mika gave her usual “me also??” question. I told her the same thing– yes, once she finishes her food. As I said, usually this tactic works. But this time, she started to whine and say no. She just refused to eat her food. I knew she wasn’t full yet since we actually had a late lunch and she hadn’t really taken in much. She just wanted the treat, without giving in to the condition I have set.
Mika started crying and begging me for raisins. I wish I could have taken a video of it! She actually looked funny, now that I think about it…but of course, at that time she just looked like a child who was being abused and being left for hunger. I am not exaggerating— Mika was crying her heart out, reaching for me and grabbing my arm, saying “Mommy!!! (in her very low, husky voice…exacerbated by her cries) Please! I want raisins!! ” And every time I told her to eat what was on her plate (which was not much really) she would refuse. I stayed calm. “Mika, it’s simple. You obey, eat your food, you get your raisins. If you do NOT obey, then you do NOT get to eat any raisins.” She would then say “I’ll eat, and then have raisins after my food??“, to which I replied “Yes!! (with a tone of relief because she got it) Eat your food, and you can have your raisins!! Go Mika!! (using exaggerated, excited, cheerleader tone)” But again, she would refuse and cry. She really did look like this innocent little angel who was being tortured by her parents by their refusal to give her what she “needed”, but the reality was she was just a cute little girl who was outright disobeying. I had to pass the matter to her daddy.
As we were going through the whole drama, this verse came to mind: “To obey is better than sacrifice.” (1 Samuel 15:22). I think I even told her that (hehe who knows? She might just learn the word ’sacrifice’ through this). Mika was crying her heart out, expressing to us what a hard time she was having, but none of her drama really mattered because she was not obeying. Of course I felt sorry for her. Of course I wanted to give in and just give her the raisins. Perhaps given any other scenario, I would have. I would have actually mixed the raisins in with her food as a compromise. But the circumstances surrounding this particular scenario we were in caused me to see what was in her heart. And this time, it was not because she disliked the taste of the food or was full, but she really just wanted to exert her will, get what she wanted, and disobey. I could not allow that to happen.
“To obey is better than sacrifice.” So many times we forget this as adults. We show God how hard a time we are having, having to “give up” something (or someone) we really love, we cry our hearts out and sometimes even question God’s heart and question why He’s not hearing us out. We beg and we beg, to the point that would really show how sincere we really are in our desire for a certain thing in our lives…and often, this thing we are asking for is not at all bad. Why, sometimes we are even convinced that what we are asking for is noble. We try to make a deal with God and try to show God how much we are willing to “suffer” to get hold of that certain thing, and God just looks at us and says “I’m not asking you to suffer. I’m asking you to obey. I’m not torturing you, I’m teaching you. To obey is better than sacrifice.”
), but since I came across some articles on what water really does and what can happen to our bodies when we don’t drink enough of it, I got a little bit alarmed and I am now trying to get into the habit of drinking H2O (after 26 years of existence, it is just now that I realize my science teachers were not exaggerating after all). I even put it as a wall paper on my cell phone as a reminder for me.
