Found this post again among the files I managed to “salvage” back when my site’s host failed me. This one’s dated June 19, 2009, but I still think it serves as a good reminder for me.

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We just came home from our good friends’ bridal shower and stag party (same house, different rooms for the men and women). I have to hand it to Steph’s (the soon-to-be bride) siblings…you all did a great job organizing it! The theme was anything kitchen, which I loved since all the prizes were useful. Had I known, I would have participated more than I have instead of just eating during the first few games!

** fast forward**

The last activity was for the married couples to give tips on “How to have a happy marriage”. This is what I came up with in the few minutes given to us:

H- Have a clear vision for your marriage. How do you want your marriage to look and be like?

A- Appreciate more than criticize. The latter is easier to do, but the former feels better and actually  yields much more results.

P- Pray together. I acknowledge that apart from the grace of God and complete reliance on Him, I probably will be more prone to doing everything else contrary to what the Bible teaches us on having great marriages.

P- Pay attention to each other’s needs and desires. “Pay attention” being the key word here. “To Each other”, too.

I- Inspire your partner to dream big. You have the wonderful privilege of being your spouse’s number one fan; being the president of his/her fan club— with front row seats and VIP passes to all the great things that he/she will be doing!

….You also have the power to crush all those dreams— in which case, you both end up just watching from the bleachers.

N- Never stop trying out new things. Having a routine and having responsibilities don’t have to be boring. It’s really up to both of you.

E- Enjoy sex.  (this one, ONLY when you’re ALREADY married!) ….No explanations needed.

S- Serve each other. You are in that marriage to serve and build up….not the other way around.

S- Savor every moment, even those that seem insignificant. Marriage is one exciting union! Every moment together is a blessing and is made to be a joy. Don’t just let those moments pass you by (parang Kodak lang yan…)

If any of you have other tips, feel free to write them!   I love learning from all of you!

PS: Mika’s on her way to recovery. She’s starting to eat again! yipee! ...(**Aah….so Mika was sick last June 2009, eh? Well, she’s been one healthy little girl since last year! )

**edit:

PPS: May I add? Can we change the spelling of “happiness” by adding one more -s at the end???

S- Say sorry. A lot of times, this is more powerful than the words “I love you”.  :)

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photo: theminimalists.com

Dear Dennis,

I don’t think I will ever get tired of telling you how much I appreciate you and how truly thankful I am for you. I don’t think I will ever get tired of spending time with you, even if we’ve already spent the whole day together and we’ve exhausted all possible points of conversation for the day (if that were possible). I don’t think I will ever get tired of thanking God for you, for each day I see how and why in His sovereignty, He brought us together. (Uuy, parang wedding vows ang tunog nito a! haha!)

Wait, parang pang anniversary! But it’s not our anniversary!

Let me shift the mode….

Happy birthday to one great man.  :)

I admire how you love God more than anyone or anything else in this world, and how you live to please Him, not men.

I admire how you make decisions and live each day, knowing who to listen to—- yes, that’s right, ME!!! :D

…ay wait, baka may makabasa at maniwala….

You know who to listen to— you know whose you are and you follow Him with all your heart, mind, and strength.

I admire how you commit to your work, not because you get paid to do it, but because you truly love people and you love seeing how God can change lives.

I admire how you are faithful in whatever it is that is given to you, even when no one would ever know.

I admire how you are the same person when others are around, and when it is just us.

I admire how you never stop learning, and how you remain humble and teachable.

I admire how secure you are, not because you feel that you have all the reasons to be secure, but because your security is not based on yourself. Rather, you get all your security from God.

I admire how you lead us— the church and your family…You lead with no sense of entitlement whatsoever, but you lead by serving us.

I admire how you have decided to live your life doing the will of God, even if that meant giving up certain things the world would consider as “success”.

I admire how you have decided to live this life, not for yourself, but to serve God and people.

Oh, how easy it is for us to love you, ga.

You are a blessing not just to me, or the kids, but to thousands of people whose lives you have touched….and I know you will continue to be a blessing to millions more as you go on obeying God’s will for your life.

I am one privileged woman to be having the chance to journey alongside you and support you in whatever, and wherever God will take you. What a joy it is to serve you and to love you! What an honor it is to be your wife, your best friend, your partner.

The kids and I are so proud of you, ga. Always have been, always will be.

We are proud of you. I am proud of you.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in our lives. Grabe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you so much!!!

Happy birthday!

Found this in my office file this morning. It’s dated August 24, 2011. I think I wrote it down someplace else because we didn’t have internet that time.

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I attended the Metro Manila Staff Meeting the other day and was glad to once again hear Pastor Steve Murrell give a short word to exhort the staff.

The main point of his message was on remembering. “Memories are what guard the soul”, he said. Of course, there are some memories that are better left stored away in the deepest recesses of the brain, or if possible– erased, but for the most part, memories are what keep us grounded.

If we remember how we were before Christ saved us and did his transforming work in us, it humbles us.

If we remember how God always came through for us and has remained faithful, it encourages us.

If we remember what life has taught us even through the mistakes we have made, it makes us wiser.

Remembering can really be a good thing for our souls.

The same is true for our marriages. Remembering the right things can guard our marriages and keep us strong. I say “the right things” because we certainly would not want to remember and keep a record of wrongs—either ours or our spouse’s. Remembering the right things can definitely make our marriages sweeter. Too often we can get caught up with life that we fail to remember just why we married this man/woman we wake up to every day. What a blessing it is to remember how you both were when you were still getting to know each other or when you were on your honeymoon stage. If we remember what we said in front of the altar on our wedding day, there will be less fights and less couples frustrated at each other.

Lord, thank you for the gift of memory. Thank you for reminding us to remember, because we are such forgetful people. Help us to remember the right things in our walk with you, and in our marriages. Help us to go through life enjoying and building more memories. 

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photo: rpmbold.wordpress.com

Thermometer (thr-mm-tr)

n.

An instrument for measuring temperature, especially one having a graduated glass tube with a bulb containing a liquid, typically mercury or colored alcohol, that expands and rises in the tube as the temperature increases.

Thermostat (thûrm-stt)

n.

A device that automatically controls heating or cooling equipment in such a way as to maintain a temperature at a constant level or within a specified range, generally using a thermometer capable of triggering electrical switches that activate or deactivate the equipment.

A thermometer does nothing but to respond and reflect the current temperature  of the environment it is placed in. It is entirely dependent on its surroundings and is incapable of controlling its environment.

A thermostat, on the other hand, is sensitive to the temperature and setting it is in, and adjusts accordingly. Its function is not to be dictated upon by its environment, but to control and set the temperature for the entire room. It is capable of going against the current level of coolness or warmth of its environment, and has the ability to actually change it.

We have the choice to either be thermometers— who helplessly get carried away and dictated upon by the circumstances that surround us, or to be thermostats— who are in control of our moods and emotions and thereby able to set the tone and atmosphere we wish to have in our homes.

Which one are you?

PS: Thermodynamics deals with the relationships and conversions between heat and other forms of energy— nothing to do with this blog, really.

* special thanks to thefreedictionary.com

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photos: nachi.org

alivingpromise.blogspot.com

Growing up, how did you imagine life to be?

How did you see yourself as a married woman? What kind of man did you dream of marrying? How did you envision the father of your children to be? What kind of life did you dream of living?

I’m sure all of us have answers to these questions. All of us grow up with a certain picture of how life would be for us. We all hope for a particular kind of life– either one just like what we grew up with, or one very much unlike it. Either way, we all desire something from life.

It’s no different when we talk about marriage. I do not know of a sensible person who starts a family without any goals and dreams. In fact, why get married if you don’t have any goals for your union, right? Let me use another word in reference to these goals and dreams– let’s name them “Desire”.

Desire is one thing that all of us have in common upon entering relationships. It is the one thing that keeps us excited and makes us look forward to the next day of being with that person we have fallen in love with. Desire is what makes us women especially look forward to that day when our man would ask us to marry them and we say yes. Desire is what makes men ignore their fears and decide to take on the challenge of being called a husband and soon, a father. Desire is a gift from God. Desire is a beautiful thing.

…BUT, we must be careful not to let these desires turn into something else. A lot of times, something magical happens when we get married; These desires take on a new name–”Expectation”. Unlike desire, expectation says “you have to do/give this or else…”. Expectation makes us lose that feeling of excitement and hope because now we wake up and everything is just an obligation that we have to fulfill. With expectation, wives tend to lose that sense of admiration and respect for their husbands because now he is just doing what he’s supposed to do as the man of the house. Expectation causes men to forget all about that unconditional love they promised to give their wives because now wives are just performing her duties. All of a sudden, all the joy, unity, intimacy, and beauty in a relationship fade because the desires have become something that God never intended.

God has loved us with an unconditional love– and He has commanded husband and wives to love the same way.

My prayer is that I will always remember to say thank you to my husband for EVERYthing he does for us–from getting me my favorite wheat pandesal, to trying his best to provide for us….and for our desires to remain as such, until the day they become reality for us.

WOW!!! Talk about TIMING! I got my very-much-missed Mac back from the computer shop AND I am now able to enter my site after weeks of just getting a syntax error line and some computer gibberish I could totally not understand…..just in time for mother’s day!!! Wooohoooo!!!! *dance*

Oh how I missed you , dear laptop! Oh how I missed you, dear WordPress interface!!!

God is a God of perfect timing, right? So I am thinking that He allowed me to get back to writing in time for mother’s day, so that my first “come back” post would be for all you moms out there. This is, after all, a site dedicated to encouraging and inspiring, and hopefully empowering you. (Well, that was the original plan, yeah…if that hasn’t happened yet, my apologies…I’m talkative and confusing that way!)

—-*Back to my message*—–

“You’re a supermom!” ….I sometimes hear that being said to some moms, and I wonder, “Why? Are there any ‘un-supermoms’??”   “What would make one qualify as a supermom?”

Is it the number of children— The more children you have, the more “super” you are?? Is it the capacity to multi-task and juggle various responsibilities at any given time— The longer your checklist, the higher up the super level you go?? Is it the way the kids turn out— the more apt they are in using polite words, the better??  Is it the capacity to raise super-children who are super-geniuses—The higher the grades and the younger they go off to college, the more super??

In a world where everything is measured according to performance, it is all too easy to judge mothers according to their output— the measure of how good they are is directly proportional to the performance of their children, or how busy they seem to be. The more responsibilities they try to manage, the better. Honestly, I refuse to buy into this measuring system set by the world. First of all, it neglects the fact that our children have different giftings and personalities, and so they bloom and grow in different ways. Just because one learns to read later doesn’t necessarily make him/her any less smarter and the mom of that child less “concerned” with him/her. Second, it forgets the fact that moms too, have different giftings and personalities. Hence, they handle things in different ways. Just because one mom is able to juggle more tasks at a time doesn’t make her any better than the other mom who prefers to “focus” on one thing at a time. Third, it takes God out of the picture. It removes the grace of God out of the equation and out of the whole picture of parenthood. This puts the burden of making sure our children turn out right all on us. What a scary place to be in, since any mom would know that no matter how much you try to guide your children, they do have their own will, and would sooner or later live out their lives according to the orientation of their hearts.

I can rest assured that my children will turn out right, not because I feel I have done an awesome job in hammering biblical principles into their hearts (I am quite certain I have a long way to go in this area); Not because I make them memorize all the verses, both from the old and new testament….but because I know their destinies are not left to chance, nor are they left to me (although I do play a vital part, yes). I can rest assured that my children will turn out okay because I know that it is God who holds their hearts and that ultimately, it is He who parents them and guides them, especially in areas that are out of my control.

Proverbs 31:29,30 says “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

This, for me, is the measure of a supermom: the fear of the Lord.

As moms, we all have different experiences, different giftings, different seasons, and different stories to tell. It is easy for us to compare ourselves with other moms and wonder if we’re doing a good-enough job. At the end of the day, though, it is not really so much about doing a good-enough job as it is about living our lives yielding to God and allowing Him to fulfill His purposes in our lives. At the end of the day, it is not so much about the many things that we are able to do, as it is about the many things that God does in our hearts and the lives of our children. It is not so much about trying to be a supermom as it is about relying on the grace of God to enable us and empower us to do whatever He has called us to do, in whatever season and area He has placed us in.

I want to encourage you today, mom-friends, that no matter how the world will try to convince you otherwise, you are supermoms. And you are supermoms, not because of anything that you have done, are doing, or will try to do…but because God’s grace and power has already been made available for you— to empower you, to strengthen you, and to help you fulfill your calling as moms.

I pray for you today, mom-friends, that you will live out your adventure-filled mommy lives full of the grace of the Lord and the strength that comes from Him. I pray that as you go about all your daily tasks, you will find joy like no other. I pray that as you interact with your children, you will get to celebrate each moment and build wonderful memories with them. I pray that as you take on the role of mom, along with all other roles life requires of you, you will be filled with wisdom to know what really matters. I pray that each time you feel tired and overwhelmed (and you terribly need that six-hour body massage, foot spa, body scrub, plus a totally new hairstyle), that you will find peace and times of refreshing in your quiet moments with our Heavenly Father.

I honor you today, moms-friends, for you willingly give of yourselves for your families. Oftentimes, the work that you do go unnoticed and unappreciated, but you still do it anyway. You do it, not because of the recognition you hope to get, and not because of any material compensation (how I wish there was such a thing for us)…but you do it because of love. I am always amazed at the great lengths you are willing to go through and endure for your children. I honor you for your capacity to love. I honor you for your ability to give. I honor you for your willingness to set aside yourselves, for your children’s sakes. I honor you for dedicating your lives to nurturing and raising the precious gifts God has blessed you with.

Happy mother’s day!!!

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photos: bestcomments.net

myorkutglitter.com

“You are loved!”

This phrase has been going around within our circle of friends lately. At first it was just to joke around and tease our good friend Nove Ann Tan since this was one thing she would ALWAYS tell almost every person she encountered. I say it with no exaggeration– almost every. single. person.

To a world that’s not used to this kind of mush anymore, one might respond by just brushing it off, or by replying with “uh, yeah. uh..thanks…?” and of course, a sweet and polite smile. On the other hand, if you say this to someone who’s been in church for quite some time, he/she would probably respond with a confident “Yes! Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so! Thanks for the reminder!” and again, a sweet sweet smile.

What started out as a way of teasing this friend of ours, has now ended up as a part of our usual interaction at home and in church. “You are loved” is now a phrase that one would so often hear, whether I am having a heart-to-heart talk with my girls, or if I just want to lighten up someone’s mood.

This morning Mika dropped something she knew was of some value (sentimental value, I mean). Her immediate reaction was to look at me, awaiting my horrified response. That would have been my reflex, but for some reason I just told her “It’s okay Mika. You are loved!” *and I flashed a Close-Up smile*   …To this she went about doing whatever it was she was doing, as if nothing happened.

But something significant did happen. Mika was just reassured that she is, in fact, loved.

In truth, this is actually what most of us need to be reassured of– that we are loved. We are loved by our Heavenly Father, the God who created the entire universe…and He loves us unconditionally…and sacrificially.

If only all of us would grasp this truth completely– that we are loved– there would be more people who are so secure in their relationships and less people sucking the life out of their partners.

“You are loved“– if only more wives heard this from their husbands, and vice versa, how wonderful and much much sweeter marriages would be!

“You are loved”– if only more children heard this from their parents, how secure they would be growing up!

“You are loved”– if only more teenagers heard this as they were growing up, they wouldn’t be trying so hard just to fit in and find their place in this world!

“You are loved“– if only we could all understand and experience this truth fully, imagine how liberating it will be! We could live our lives not having to worry about what will happen in the future, because we know that our future is secure in God’s hands, who promises that His will for us is good, pleasing, and perfect. We could live our lives not hesitant to step out into what we are called to do because we know we have a Heavenly Father who goes before us and who has our back, who will never leave us nor forsake us. We could give up what God wants us to let go of, and embrace whatever it is He wants to give us, because we know that God loves us to the point of sending us His only Son as a sacrifice and substitute for our sins.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13 )

So now friends, I am saying this to you, too… “You are loved.” And I’m saying this with a prayer that you too, will really experience the fullness of God’s love thereby experiencing the fullness of what this life has to offer. In addition, I pray that as you fully grasp this love, you too will be able to live your life spreading this love to those around you.

Share the love!

photo: Carina Santos, Flickr.com

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Jan. 16, 2011

I was having dinner with my cousins a few nights ago and one of them mentioned a term that was new to me — tiangge advice.

Wha–?? Huh??

Tiangge advice– according to my cousin’s definition, this pertains to advice we often hear that seem so profound and well thought of, yet if you really think about it, are actually worthless. It’s the term for the kind of advice that people just give for the sake of having something to say, or perhaps for the sake of sounding like they do have something good to say. One would think that he/she has just received some valuable insight, when in actuality, what he/she got was far from having real value. Sadly, this is the kind that we usually receive from most of our well-meaning friends and relatives. Even sadder is most of the time, we just realize that they are not really sound advice only after we have followed them and gotten hurt from doing so.

The reality is that we live in a world that is sold out on tiangge advice.

“Just follow your heart.”

“The heart knows not where it wants to go, but in the end it will lead you to where you need to go.” (haha! I just totally made this up! So tiangge!)

“Kung nagkasala ka na rin, panindigan mo na. Tuloy mo na. Anjan na eh.”

“When love is not madness, it is not love.”

“As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s okay to do as you please…”

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

These all sound wise and deep, and sometimes even noble. But the last time I checked, the world is full of hurting people who followed these words of wisdom.

I have to admit, these tiangge advice are really phrased well. I can’t blame the people who end up following them. I mean, if I hadn’t known any better, I myself would not just be following, but I’d be giving out the same kind of advice! This makes me scared… What about my kids?? what kind of advice will they be hearing and receiving years from now? Ukay advice?? The idea of this happening is not so unlikely you know, and when that happens, what then?? Will my kids be ready to discern what is right and what is wrong? Will they be able to tell the difference from what sounds right and what sounds good from what is right and what is good? Will they be able to give a counter-offer of real quality, valuable, and time-tested advice?

I hope so. I pray to God that they will be able to.

One thing we can count on is that that kind of wisdom and discernment wouldn’t come from thin air. Nor will it come from some built-in intuition, and especially not from the world that’s surrounding them (we’ve established that the world is full of tiangge advice right??). No, if we want our children to have the wisdom and the ability to discern and even give sound advice, we have to be deliberate in teaching them Biblical advice. We have to make the effort to teach them what the Bible has to say about all the many different issues they face or will face. They have to know that the Bible is the final authority in all matters of life. They have to understand how God’s Word translates to their daily concerns, and appreciate how relevant it is in their lives.

“Do not let this book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful….” Joshua 1:8

“Teach to your children , talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up…” Deuteronomy 11:19

“Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path…” Psalm 119:105

“All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” 2 Timothy 3:16

If we are faithful to do this, then once our children start hearing tiangge advice, they would know better. They won’t just buy in to whatever is being handed to them. More than that, they’d be ready to offer the kind of advice that the world really needs to hear.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov. 4:23

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…” 2 Cor. 5:18

“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Cor. 6:19-20

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Cor. 13:11

I’m back from our mini-getaway and wouldn’t you know it, the kids are fine!

The best thing I like about these little set-apart times is that we go back to our kids as closer partners and (hopefully) better parents.

It really doesn’t hurt to try to get out of the house once in a while. Again, we have to remember that one of the best gifts we can give our kids is a strong marriage and the security that mom and dad love each other and are committed to each other. We need to have a mindset that the times we spend away from our kids to date our spouses are investments we make that would have implications not just in our lifetime as parents, but would have an impact on how our kids would see and live life, and how they in turn would build their families and raise the next generation.

Moms and dads, I implore you…. if there is any way that you can leave the kids with someone you trust so both of you can spend some time alone, by all means, get out of that house!

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*Cached file…dated 030310

*photo: fineartblog.co.uk

Got this from Ptr. Bernard Marquez.

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

Author Unknown

Your relationship can be
greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with
him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re
trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences
that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate
freely. (Dave Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh
together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him
time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun
instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the
negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often
sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make
the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the
negative if it’s necessary.)
17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your
evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one
to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your
husband.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work
on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a
marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other
times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your
pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that
love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when
necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the
family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific
reasons).
36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording”
it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you
sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.
41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s
not there.
43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief
when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private
when necessary).
46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from
work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few
minutes with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and
pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not,
it’s a sacrifice worth making.)
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a
movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just
like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best
comprehends it.

51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t
crowd him.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he
needs it.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between
you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to
men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to
do.
60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or
breakfast in bed, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.
62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at
home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he
wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to
him.)
71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do
better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures
instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in
public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t
interest you.
80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a
husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that
the wife thinks he should.)
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may
view them as more important than you realize.)
83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or
illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the
silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.
91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with
you.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer
leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday
living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in
his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

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* Another cached file from Google. Yey!

*photo: by lonelypluto911