Please don’t get me wrong. I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I breastfed both of my girls– one until I got pregnant again, and the other until she was a little over two. I love, love, looooove breastfeeding! And I would fight with all I have to still be able to nurse my next babies— even if it means having to go through the initial pain of breastfeeding again. It is all worth it!
Having said that, it is always my joy to support my friends in their efforts to breastfeed as well. I remember some instances that I’ve had to get up in the middle of the night to answer phone calls from mom-friends who needed some encouragement. I love doing research for other people regarding breastfeeding. I rejoice with moms when they are finally out of the painful phase and into enjoying the full benefits– both for them and for their babies– of breastfeeding.
Now, why did you have to put such a negative title then, Thammie?? You may ask (or not)….Well, with all the articles and blog posts we get to read nowadays, it’s not so uncommon to hear moms share about their various experiences on breastfeeding. Of course, there are so many encouraging success stories, but there are also those who share how they feel guilty and stressed once they bring home their newborns from the hospital and they still are not able to nurse properly or provide sufficient milk. It’s as if they feel they are not giving enough to their babies. Some, on the other hand, feel that they are finally “real” moms once they are able to finally nurse their babies, as if those who– for whatever reason, are not able to– are any less real. Some moms, when asked about their breastfeeding journey, feel they have to defend themselves if they feel they were not able to nurse their babies long enough, or even if they did, why they had to stop.
I feel that for some reason, what was created to just bring about joy and health, has caused some unnecessary emotions that are, more than anything— imposed on self, as a result of pressure from society.
Here’s my only point for this post, really: Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift given to us moms. It is absolutely beneficial— physically, emotionally, mentally— for both baby and mom. It feels incredibly wonderful to breastfeed our babies. And it is a huge relief to daddies and their wallets! BUT… your success in breastfeeding does NOT define you as a mom. There is more to parenting and motherhood than being able to successfully let your baby latch on and get nourishment from you. There is more to you as a parent than just fulfilling a certain standard of the “twenty-first century supermom”. That is not what would define your worth as a mother. That is not what defines you, period.
If I may put it so bluntly, you are worth more than your breasts.
For the past few days, I’ve been having a hard time in deciding what food I want to eat. I know this sounds so unlike me, but really– it’s been hard for me. I don’t know what I want to eat until the moment that I am already super hungry that my stomach starts to turn all acidic and it starts cramping with so much pain. Ugh. I don’t like the feeling. I never thought the day would come that I’d have to force myself to eat…Although, I must say….I still do a pretty good job in forcing myself. Hehe!
Anyway, since the impossible has become possible, and I do have to make an effort to want to eat, I’ve been spending some time going through food sites, food photos, cookbooks….just to find what my tastebuds would agree with. So, for this week, expect my posts to be all food-related. I also realized that I haven’t published any of my food posts from our last Hong Kong trip too, so now would be a good time to finally do that.
Today, I checked for what I am NOT allowed to eat in preparation for the buffet I will go to once I break free from house arrest. I’ve been planning to go to a buffet even before I found out about my pregnancy, so I really want to be able to go already! (Okay, forget what I said about having to force myself to eat….it doesn’t apply to the thought of being in an all-you-can-eat buffet!) Sadly, most of what I love having at buffets are forbidden for the time being! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk....
Raw Meat: Uncooked seafood and rare or undercooked beef or poultry should be avoided because of the risk of contamination with coliform bacteria, toxoplasmosis, and salmonella.
Deli Meat: Deli meats have been known to be contaminated with listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which may be life-threatening. If you are pregnant and you are considering eating deli meats, make certain that you reheat the meat until it is steaming .
Fish with Mercury: Fish that contain high levels of mercury should be avoided. Mercury consumed during pregnancy has been linked to developmental delays and brain damage. A sample of these types of fish include: shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish. Canned, chunk light tuna generally has a lower amount of mercury than other tuna, but still should only be eaten in moderation. Certain types of fish used in sushi should also be avoided due to high levels of mercury. Please see Mercury in Fish for specific types of fish and further information on how to calculate mercury levels.
Smoked Seafood -Refrigerated, smoked seafood often labeled as lox, nova style, kippered, or jerky should be avoided because it could be contaminated with Listeria. (These are safe to eat when they are in an ingredient in a meal that has been cooked, like a casserole.) This type of fish is often found in the deli section of your grocery store. Canned or shelf-safe smoked seafood is usually OK to eat.
Fish Exposed to Industrial Pollutants: Avoid fish from contaminated lakes and rivers that may be exposed to high levels of polychlorinated biphenyls. This is primarily for those who fish in local lakes and streams. These fish include: bluefish, striped bass, salmon, pike, trout, and walleye. Contact the local health department or Environmental Protection Agency to determine which fish are safe to eat in your area. Remember, this is regarding fish caught in local waters and not fish from your local grocery store.
Raw Shellfish: The majority of seafood-borne illness is caused by undercooked shellfish, which include oysters, clams, and mussels. Cooking helps prevent some types of infection, but it does not prevent the algae-related infections that are associated with red tides. Raw shellfish pose a concern for everybody, and they should be avoided altogether during pregnancy.
Raw Eggs: Raw eggs or any foods that contain raw eggs should be avoided because of the potential exposure to salmonella. Some homemade Caesar dressings, mayonnaise, homemade ice cream or custards, and Hollandaise sauces may be made with raw eggs.
If the recipe is cooked at some point, this will reduce the exposure to salmonella. Commercially manufactured ice cream, dressings, and eggnog are made with pasteurized eggs and do not increase the risk of salmonella. Restaurants should be using pasteurized eggs in any recipe that is made with raw eggs, such as Hollandaise sauce or dressings.
Soft Cheeses: Imported soft cheeses may contain bacteria called Listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which can be life-threatening. You would need to avoid soft cheeses such as: Brie, Camembert, Roquefort, Feta, Gorgonzola and Mexican style cheeses that include queso blanco and queso fresco, unless they clearly state that they are made from pasteurized milk. All soft non-imported cheeses made with pasteurized milk are safe to eat.
Un pasteurized Milk: Un pasteurized milk may contain a bacteria called listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which can be life-threatening. Make sure that any milk you drink is pasteurized.
Pate: Refrigerated pate or meat spreads should be avoided because they may contain the bacteria listeria. Canned pate, or shelf-safe meat spreads can be eaten.
Caffeine: Although most studies show that caffeine intake in moderation is OK, there are others that show that caffeine intake may be related to miscarriages. Avoid caffeine during the first trimester to reduce the likelihood of a miscarriage. As a general rule, caffeine should be limited to fewer than 200 mg per day during pregnancy. Caffeine is a diuretic, which means it helps eliminate fluids from the body. This can result in water and calcium loss. It is important that you are drinking plenty of water, juice, and milk rather than caffeinated beverages. Some research shows that large amounts of caffeine are associated with miscarriage, premature birth, low birth weight, and withdrawal symptoms in infants. The safest thing is to refrain from consuming caffeine.
Alcohol: There is NO amount of alcohol that is known to be safe during pregnancy, and therefore alcohol should be avoided during pregnancy. Prenatal exposure to alcohol can interfere with the healthy development of the baby. Depending on the amount, timing, and pattern of use, alcohol consumption during pregnancy can lead to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or other developmental disorders. If you consumed alcohol before you knew you were pregnant, stop drinking now. You should continue to avoid alcohol during breastfeeding. Exposure of alcohol to an infant poses harmful risks, and alcohol does reach the baby during breastfeeding.
Unwashed Vegetables: Yes, vegetables are safe to eat, so you still need to eat them. However, it is essential to make sure they are washed to avoid potential exposure to toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis may contaminate the soil where the vegetables were grown.
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So you see, except for the alcohol, I am affected! I am not allowed to have what I always want to have!
It’s a good thing a friend texted me today, and reminded me of one key word to help me with everything that my body is experiencing at this time: patience.
True. Anything that’s worth it, is worth waiting for, fighting for, praying for, and sacrificing for.
Of course, I don’t mean to say that not eating what I want to eat is considered “sacrifice” already (although sometimes it feels that way)— far from it! There are real sacrifices that a lot of moms have to make and to bring it down to the level of food is not right. I just want to keep things light at this time though. I really am experiencing so much pain in my stomach that it’s so hard to think, and even holding a book up to read takes so much effort. All I want to do is lie down and try to find a position that is comfortable…and that alone is a feat!
So now as I am writing this, I do pray for all the other pregnant moms out there. I pray that you will have so much joy and rest as you go through your pregnancy. I pray you will have the strength that you need as you carry the baby in your womb and at the same time take care of your household. I pray against any kind of pain and discomfort. I pray that you will be able to sleep well and function well, and that supernatural comfort will be upon you. I pray for the joy of the Lord to be your strength as you wait on Him to bring that baby into wholeness.
Thank you Lord for what you are doing. Thank you that you have prepared our bodies for such a nine-month-long event as this!
I lose track of how many makeover shows there are, but I just know there are many. This just goes to show how many women are so consumed with trying to look beautiful on the outside, which all these shows promise to do for you. What these women don’t realize is that ten years from now they would again be looking for other ways to give themselves a makeover. They then resort to what technology now has to offer. Then they do it the next year again….and the year after that. I have to say, more and more people really are looking better and better on the outside, and I am amazed at how it’s getting harder and harder to tell a woman’s age now based on how she looks. If I had the money, oh wow I’m sure I’ll be tempted to try all these creams and facials!!
WAIT. This isn’t the kind of beautiful I wanted to talk about now. I actually wanted to introduce you to one beautiful woman I know and who is very dear to me…
Meet Sister Claire.
I went to visit this grand-aunt of mine today, who I grew up calling “Lola Madre” (the nickname because that’s what she is…my lola and a nun). She is a dentist by profession, but she chose to dedicate her life to God and the church. It’s been quite some time since we last got to visit her, and so upon entering her room and seeing her, I felt the tinge of reality of how quickly time passes. The last time I saw her, she wasn’t this…..old yet (and I say it with no negative connotation to the term whatsoever). I was surprised to see how her hair has now gotten all gray. Her crowning glory has always been a dark color….but then again that was probably because her hair was always covered! Hehe. She was always up and about every time we visited her in the past, but this time she was lying on her bed unable to move because she just got a hip fracture that warranted surgical procedures.
So yes, my dear Lola Madre looks so much different now, but you know what I kept thinking the whole time we were there chatting with her? I was thinking of how beautiful she has gotten through the years. And then I was thinking of how I really shouldn’t worry so much about looking good on the outside as much as I should be concerned with making sure I have the right heart, cultivating the beauty that comes from within and that can only grow more beautiful with time.
My Lola Madre has devoted her life to mentoring hundreds of young women who have had difficult experiences. She has blessed so many with her life, showing care and compassion to those who needed it. She is content with life, and has chosen not to waste her years going after material gain or whatever this world would consider a measure of success. She has a relationship with God, which gives her peace and joy that transcends human understanding…and that peace can be seen in her eyes.
This Lola of mine is one beautiful woman and I thank her for reminding me of what beauty really is even without saying a word. I left her room praying that I too, will age gracefully and beautifully. I left her room praying that I will always remember to pour my heart and my time not on the temporal things of this world– things that can be gone with just one swipe of a credit card or that will fade away with the help of the forces of gravity– but to pour out my life investing in things that really matter.
If I were to ask her for her top three tips on how to stay beautiful or how to become more beautiful with age, I doubt that she will know anything about the most effective moisturizers or slimming treatments. There might not even be any mention of any product. She would most likely give me the following tips:
1. Cultivate your relationship with God. He is the one who can give you joy and peace and love like no other, and that’s really what will give your face that irresistible glow.
2. Invest in and develop healthy relationships. There’s nothing like being surrounded with people who genuinely love you and who will sincerely rejoice with you in times of triumph, and stand with you in times of testing.
3. Stop thinking less of yourself, but think of yourself, less. (I heard this from someone else…was it Rick Warren?? Please correct me if I’m mistaken)
Okay, I’m just assuming that these will be her answers, but I’m pretty sure my made-up answers are not so far off from what she’d tell me. I’ll probably ask her when I visit her again, then I’ll compare her answers with my assumptions.
* I wrote this last January 16, 2011, but I just realized I never got to post it. Oops!
* I’ve come across several posts that I thought were completely wiped out, but were fortunately cached by Google. I’d be posting those for the next few days.
Here’s one that I originally published last January 11, 2010, when I was about to wean Mika.
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“If you haven’t weaned your child by 18 months, it’s very difficult to do so until about 36 months,” says Ruth Lawrence, MD, a professor of pediatrics and obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Rochester School of Medicine.
Oh no. Nobody mentioned this to me before.
A month from now my second daughter Mikaela would be turning two– which means I would have to wean her completely. I didn’t really worry much about this before, mainly because the thought of having to wean her from breastfeeding saddens me. I am a very “touchy” person, and so is Mika…so aside from that fact that breastmilk has a lot of benefits for our babies, this is really why breastfeeding works so well for us– We both love the cuddle time.
*sigh* …I can’t believe I would have to stop really soon. I know I can actually choose to extend our nursing days, but I also feel I have to stop so I can “replenish” myself with nutrients if I am to have another baby sometime in the not-so-near yet not-so-far future.
With Alyanna, weaning was very easy. She was one year and four months old when I weaned her completely. The week that I decided to mix-feed her was the same week that I found out I was pregnant. All I did was stop giving her my breasts (we are all women here, right? ) and then she gave up without putting up much of a fight. Maybe because she was less than 18 months at that time? Could it be that the above statement by Dr. Lawrence is true? If it is, then should I expect that weaning Mika this time around would be much much harder? *argh* I dread to even imagine it…Even now, it seems that Mika is more attached to me. It is like she knows that I am planning on doing something that is not to her liking. Ever since the holidays, “Mommy!Carry me please!” or “Mommy, drink milk from your b—s please.” is what I’d hear from her all the time. Oh, Mika. Don’t you know this would make things all the more difficult for both of us??
I am expecting that my weaning process would be very much different from what I experienced with Alyanna, but I will probably try these:
1. Take it slow. Drop one feeding at a time, and replace it with formula or a meal…I’ve already started doing this. I only have three feeding times left.
2. Avoid our favorite nursing places and positions…this would be hard, since our favorite nursing positions are my favorite positions…period.
3. Distract her. I would have to cut our cuddle time in bed short, and move it someplace else, some place she won’t associate with breastfeeding.
4. Cuddle her some more…in different “settings”
5. Ignore her cries.
6. Keep ourselves busy-er…hopefully she’ll think there are more fun things to do after all.
7. Keep her full and satisfied with real food…this shouldn’t be so hard to do. She’s much like her mom.
That’s all I can think of for now. I know there’s not much of a plan here, but we’ll see. I’ll be trying them soon, and I shall let you know which work/s best. I am open to suggestions.
My last resort:
Apply olive oil that has been “infused” with garlic on your nipples as you breastfeed. Our babies (and us, and I’m sure our husbands too—the downside) will hate the odor from the garlic.
I’ve heard of someone who applied coldrub instead…I think anything with a strong scent/smell would do? Again, this would be my last resort. I don’t like the downside of this.
*I am reposting this recipe I shared last January 15, 2009. Unfortunately, I lost my old file which included the picture. I shall edit this post once I find it or I make a new batch and take photos of it!
Due to requests of some dear friends, here is a “recipe” of the salad dressing I had for one of the Christmas dinners I hosted here at home:
**oh no! warning: i really do not know how much of each ingredient I used…so I guess for those of you who haven’t tried it, just pour and mix until you find a taste that’s to your liking? Basta it’s supposed to taste a little tangy yet light…
…oh wait, ok i’ll try to imagine the measurements…. here goes….
1 cup plain yogurt
2 tbsp garlic, super chopped
2-4 “strips” of anchovy fillets (as we all know, this is quite salty so you might want to try to go for 2 first)
2-3 tbsp lemon
mustard (this would really depend on how tangy you’d like your dressing to be)….i think i put in about 2 tsp. of this
honey (i see this as the “equalizer” of all the other ingredients)
* I suggest you “pound” the garlic and anchovy fillets together first before mixing in all the other ingredients
* oh, and it helps to base the amount of mustard to put it on the color of the dressing….it should be a very pale yellow
Now, what to toss in with this dressing?
romaine lettuce
shrimps (i marinate mine with the dressing before cooking it)
