Please don’t get me wrong. I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I breastfed both of my girls– one until I got pregnant again, and the other until she was a little over two. I love, love, looooove breastfeeding! And I would fight with all I have to still be able to nurse my next babies— even if it means having to go through the initial pain of breastfeeding again. It is all worth it!
Having said that, it is always my joy to support my friends in their efforts to breastfeed as well. I remember some instances that I’ve had to get up in the middle of the night to answer phone calls from mom-friends who needed some encouragement. I love doing research for other people regarding breastfeeding. I rejoice with moms when they are finally out of the painful phase and into enjoying the full benefits– both for them and for their babies– of breastfeeding.
Now, why did you have to put such a negative title then, Thammie?? You may ask (or not)….Well, with all the articles and blog posts we get to read nowadays, it’s not so uncommon to hear moms share about their various experiences on breastfeeding. Of course, there are so many encouraging success stories, but there are also those who share how they feel guilty and stressed once they bring home their newborns from the hospital and they still are not able to nurse properly or provide sufficient milk. It’s as if they feel they are not giving enough to their babies. Some, on the other hand, feel that they are finally “real” moms once they are able to finally nurse their babies, as if those who– for whatever reason, are not able to– are any less real. Some moms, when asked about their breastfeeding journey, feel they have to defend themselves if they feel they were not able to nurse their babies long enough, or even if they did, why they had to stop.
I feel that for some reason, what was created to just bring about joy and health, has caused some unnecessary emotions that are, more than anything— imposed on self, as a result of pressure from society.
Here’s my only point for this post, really: Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift given to us moms. It is absolutely beneficial— physically, emotionally, mentally— for both baby and mom. It feels incredibly wonderful to breastfeed our babies. And it is a huge relief to daddies and their wallets! BUT… your success in breastfeeding does NOT define you as a mom. There is more to parenting and motherhood than being able to successfully let your baby latch on and get nourishment from you. There is more to you as a parent than just fulfilling a certain standard of the “twenty-first century supermom”. That is not what would define your worth as a mother. That is not what defines you, period.
If I may put it so bluntly, you are worth more than your breasts.
There’s one particular restaurant inside Hong Kong Disneyland park that I’ve always wanted to try— Corner Cafe. It’s the first restaurant you see in Main Street, U.S.A. and it’s usually packed!
During our first few trips to the park, we did get to try the other restaurants like Plaza Inn (also in Mainstreet U.S.A), and Riverview Cafe near the Jungle River Cruise (Adventureland)— both of which also offer delicious Asian cuisine. But it’s been one of my goals to try out Corner Cafe, just because it’s the busiest restaurant in the park. Now I know why it is so.
After a couple of days, I now get to use my laptop again. Is it just me or have I really been relatively “silent” the past few weeks??
I have been feeling quite guilty the past few days, since the doctor ordered that I stay away from anything that could cause any stress or tension. She advised against homeschooling (we’re THIS close too, you know? — THIS close to finishing!); Action flicks or series are a no-no; And personally, I haven’t had the drive to go on the net either— not even to write.
I expressed this sense of “guilt” to Dennis (nothing serious though)— how I haven’t done any housework in a long time, how I haven’t been able to homeschool, to blog….And what he said greatly reassured and encouraged me: “Yes you could be a homeschool teacher now, a housewife, or a blogger….but right now, you have to choose to just be a mother. Nothing else. That’s your priority now.” (He actually said this in English ha! hehe ) As the doctor said, the priority now is to protect this baby that’s in my womb and to try to help it thrive.
I know this sounds so basic, and it really should be something that I should’ve grasped already, but again, there are just times when you need someone to say it to you out loud. I am really not used to not doing anything and not seeing any fruit or evidence of productivity in this household as far as I’m concerned, and so….there are random moments when I am just itching to be able to move about already. But I thank God for the wisdom of my husband, who constantly reminds me that the purpose of bed rest is really to be able to REST.
I guess it’s always a good thing to be reminded of this thing called priority. Making something a priority is a choice we deliberately make. It means out of all the the many things that I can do, out of all the demands that I feel I have to do— THIS is what I choose to devote my time and efforts in.
When we look at our budget and checkbooks, what do they give away? What do we value? When we check our calendars, what do they tell of what we have chosen to take priority? When we assess how we build and keep our relationships, what do they say about what is truly important to us?
Whether we are aware of it or not, we make choices everyday as to what our priorities are. I hope we make choices, not only based on what will satisfy our current interests or fulfill our ambitions, but based on the roles we have been given— as wives, as mothers, as women of purpose.
For the past few days, I’ve been having a hard time in deciding what food I want to eat. I know this sounds so unlike me, but really– it’s been hard for me. I don’t know what I want to eat until the moment that I am already super hungry that my stomach starts to turn all acidic and it starts cramping with so much pain. Ugh. I don’t like the feeling. I never thought the day would come that I’d have to force myself to eat…Although, I must say….I still do a pretty good job in forcing myself. Hehe!
Anyway, since the impossible has become possible, and I do have to make an effort to want to eat, I’ve been spending some time going through food sites, food photos, cookbooks….just to find what my tastebuds would agree with. So, for this week, expect my posts to be all food-related. I also realized that I haven’t published any of my food posts from our last Hong Kong trip too, so now would be a good time to finally do that.
Today, I checked for what I am NOT allowed to eat in preparation for the buffet I will go to once I break free from house arrest. I’ve been planning to go to a buffet even before I found out about my pregnancy, so I really want to be able to go already! (Okay, forget what I said about having to force myself to eat….it doesn’t apply to the thought of being in an all-you-can-eat buffet!) Sadly, most of what I love having at buffets are forbidden for the time being! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk....
Raw Meat: Uncooked seafood and rare or undercooked beef or poultry should be avoided because of the risk of contamination with coliform bacteria, toxoplasmosis, and salmonella.
Deli Meat: Deli meats have been known to be contaminated with listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which may be life-threatening. If you are pregnant and you are considering eating deli meats, make certain that you reheat the meat until it is steaming .
Fish with Mercury: Fish that contain high levels of mercury should be avoided. Mercury consumed during pregnancy has been linked to developmental delays and brain damage. A sample of these types of fish include: shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish. Canned, chunk light tuna generally has a lower amount of mercury than other tuna, but still should only be eaten in moderation. Certain types of fish used in sushi should also be avoided due to high levels of mercury. Please see Mercury in Fish for specific types of fish and further information on how to calculate mercury levels.
Smoked Seafood -Refrigerated, smoked seafood often labeled as lox, nova style, kippered, or jerky should be avoided because it could be contaminated with Listeria. (These are safe to eat when they are in an ingredient in a meal that has been cooked, like a casserole.) This type of fish is often found in the deli section of your grocery store. Canned or shelf-safe smoked seafood is usually OK to eat.
Fish Exposed to Industrial Pollutants: Avoid fish from contaminated lakes and rivers that may be exposed to high levels of polychlorinated biphenyls. This is primarily for those who fish in local lakes and streams. These fish include: bluefish, striped bass, salmon, pike, trout, and walleye. Contact the local health department or Environmental Protection Agency to determine which fish are safe to eat in your area. Remember, this is regarding fish caught in local waters and not fish from your local grocery store.
Raw Shellfish: The majority of seafood-borne illness is caused by undercooked shellfish, which include oysters, clams, and mussels. Cooking helps prevent some types of infection, but it does not prevent the algae-related infections that are associated with red tides. Raw shellfish pose a concern for everybody, and they should be avoided altogether during pregnancy.
Raw Eggs: Raw eggs or any foods that contain raw eggs should be avoided because of the potential exposure to salmonella. Some homemade Caesar dressings, mayonnaise, homemade ice cream or custards, and Hollandaise sauces may be made with raw eggs.
If the recipe is cooked at some point, this will reduce the exposure to salmonella. Commercially manufactured ice cream, dressings, and eggnog are made with pasteurized eggs and do not increase the risk of salmonella. Restaurants should be using pasteurized eggs in any recipe that is made with raw eggs, such as Hollandaise sauce or dressings.
Soft Cheeses: Imported soft cheeses may contain bacteria called Listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which can be life-threatening. You would need to avoid soft cheeses such as: Brie, Camembert, Roquefort, Feta, Gorgonzola and Mexican style cheeses that include queso blanco and queso fresco, unless they clearly state that they are made from pasteurized milk. All soft non-imported cheeses made with pasteurized milk are safe to eat.
Un pasteurized Milk: Un pasteurized milk may contain a bacteria called listeria, which can cause miscarriage. Listeria has the ability to cross the placenta and may infect the baby leading to infection or blood poisoning, which can be life-threatening. Make sure that any milk you drink is pasteurized.
Pate: Refrigerated pate or meat spreads should be avoided because they may contain the bacteria listeria. Canned pate, or shelf-safe meat spreads can be eaten.
Caffeine: Although most studies show that caffeine intake in moderation is OK, there are others that show that caffeine intake may be related to miscarriages. Avoid caffeine during the first trimester to reduce the likelihood of a miscarriage. As a general rule, caffeine should be limited to fewer than 200 mg per day during pregnancy. Caffeine is a diuretic, which means it helps eliminate fluids from the body. This can result in water and calcium loss. It is important that you are drinking plenty of water, juice, and milk rather than caffeinated beverages. Some research shows that large amounts of caffeine are associated with miscarriage, premature birth, low birth weight, and withdrawal symptoms in infants. The safest thing is to refrain from consuming caffeine.
Alcohol: There is NO amount of alcohol that is known to be safe during pregnancy, and therefore alcohol should be avoided during pregnancy. Prenatal exposure to alcohol can interfere with the healthy development of the baby. Depending on the amount, timing, and pattern of use, alcohol consumption during pregnancy can lead to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or other developmental disorders. If you consumed alcohol before you knew you were pregnant, stop drinking now. You should continue to avoid alcohol during breastfeeding. Exposure of alcohol to an infant poses harmful risks, and alcohol does reach the baby during breastfeeding.
Unwashed Vegetables: Yes, vegetables are safe to eat, so you still need to eat them. However, it is essential to make sure they are washed to avoid potential exposure to toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis may contaminate the soil where the vegetables were grown.
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So you see, except for the alcohol, I am affected! I am not allowed to have what I always want to have!
It’s a good thing a friend texted me today, and reminded me of one key word to help me with everything that my body is experiencing at this time: patience.
True. Anything that’s worth it, is worth waiting for, fighting for, praying for, and sacrificing for.
Of course, I don’t mean to say that not eating what I want to eat is considered “sacrifice” already (although sometimes it feels that way)— far from it! There are real sacrifices that a lot of moms have to make and to bring it down to the level of food is not right. I just want to keep things light at this time though. I really am experiencing so much pain in my stomach that it’s so hard to think, and even holding a book up to read takes so much effort. All I want to do is lie down and try to find a position that is comfortable…and that alone is a feat!
So now as I am writing this, I do pray for all the other pregnant moms out there. I pray that you will have so much joy and rest as you go through your pregnancy. I pray you will have the strength that you need as you carry the baby in your womb and at the same time take care of your household. I pray against any kind of pain and discomfort. I pray that you will be able to sleep well and function well, and that supernatural comfort will be upon you. I pray for the joy of the Lord to be your strength as you wait on Him to bring that baby into wholeness.
Thank you Lord for what you are doing. Thank you that you have prepared our bodies for such a nine-month-long event as this!
I witnessed a funny thing last night after church. Well, I’m not sure if ”funny” would be the appropriate word for it, but any other adjective escapes my into-the-holiday brain right now.
While waiting for Dennis to finish preaching, I decided to go to a bookstore and browse through some books. Just then, this guy holding a palm branch (palaspas) walked in and went straight to the magazine section, grabbed a copy that was of interest to him, and then browsed through it right beside where I was. He was pretty near so I just took a glance at him, at the same time securing my bag (hehe times like these, it’s okay to be praning– in english, slightly paranoid). Unfortunately, as I turned to take a look, I also caught a glance of what kind of magazine he was holding— a very popular “men’s magazine” (I still don’t think they should call it that, though). With one hand he held a palm branch, which supposedly tells of one “welcoming” Christ the Savior, and with the other hand he held something that would tell otherwise.
A few minutes later, his friend walked up to him to tell him they had to leave. When the friend saw what his friend was looking at, he gave some “friendly” advice: “Pare naman! Kakagaling lang natin ng simbahan eh tapos yan na agad babasahin mo?!” (” *insert ‘pare’ counterpart here* We just came from church and then now, that’s what you’re reading?!”)
Wow. At least this friend was in his right mind and was about to correct Mr. Palaspas.
But then, friendly-advice friend gave an even friendlier advice: “Bukas ka na bumili nyan!” (“Buy one tomorrow instead!”)
Toink.
As funny as it sounds, sometimes we do think like Mr. Palaspas and Mr. Friendly Advice.
Just like Mr. Palaspas, it is sometimes so easy for us to go into this holy week thinking it is just a tradition we practice every year. We can go to church, fast from meat, even fill our houses with palm branches…and yet we are unwilling to let go of our old sinful habits. With one hand we say “Welcome Jesus! We celebrate you! Come into my life!“, and yet with the other hand we still do the very things that He tells us to have nothing to do with.
Or we can be like Mr. Friendly Advice, who sees holy week as just that—a week when you try to act holy. After which, we go back to our “normal” ways…until the next “holy” week.
So what should our mindsets be as we go and celebrate this holy week? Why do we have holy week in the first place?
Well, aside from the joy that we have in being able to take time off from work, Holy Week is really about remembering Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.
Nothing more, nothing less.
(But of course, it’s really fun to take time off from work and be with family and friends, right?? hehe…but that’s not the point so let’s go back to the real reason…)
It is because of Christ’s death on the cross that all our sins have been atoned for. It is because Christ chose to become sin for us that all our guilt have been washed away.
Jesus died and was buried according to scripture.
But it didn’t end there.
Like I said, it is about Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection– nothing more, nothing less.
On the third day, Jesus resurrected and became alive again, also according to scripture. He did not remain dead. The story did not end with Him losing power and being handed over to death. Because He was Jesus who was completely obedient to God the Father and was blameless, death itself could not hold Him down. He overcame the very thing we are all destined for because of our sin. He was victorious over sin and death—and He chose to share His victory with us! Because of His resurrection, we too, are made alive in Him. Because of His resurrection, we who were once dead to our sins are now alive in Christ. Once we were slaves to sin and our sinful nature, causing us to go on in our sinful patterns…but now we have been set free and we are able to say no to sin and therefore it doesn’t have a hold on us!
We can actually say no to sin! (Yaaay!!! )
This means that I don’t have to hold a palm branch or a Bible in one hand and with the other hand keep on sinning or doing my old ways. Jesus has given me the power to say no to that. This means that I could actually welcome Jesus willingly and completely and not let it be just lip service because I now understand the freedom and the victorious life that He wants me to have. This means that I don’t have to put a timeline to when I can sin and when I cannot sin; I don’t have to try to act holy and on certain times only, because now I know that because of Christ’s death and resurrection I can say no to sin at all times, and I am already made holy.
I am already holy, and none— absolutely NONE of it is of any merit to me. None of my holiness is up to me or up to how I act. My holiness is based solely on what Jesus did for me on the Cross.
I guess this is my overly-zealous way of trying to encourage you, that we don’t have to be either one of them— Mr. Palaspas or Mr. Friendly Advice— anymore. We can, at this time and always, finally leave our old life of sin and completely welcome Christ into our lives. We can enjoy not just this holy week, but we can– from this moment on, live and enjoy holy lives.
Is it just me or have I really been relatively “silent” the past few weeks??
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