18 days to go!!!

I always look forward to Christmas! I look forward to all the time spent with family and friends, giving of gifts, sharing of lives, delicious food, and of course, celebrating and remembering the very reason why I get to live life to its fullest every day of the year— Jesus!

I doubt that I will ever outgrow this fascination that I have for Christmas. I get all giddy everyday as I, together with the kids, countdown to Christmas morning. What brings me more joy is seeing the kiddos just as excited as I am!

Ever since Alyanna turned three, we have started counting down the days to Christmas starting every first of December. In the previous years, we used envelopes that the girls “designed” using Christmas-themed rubber stamps. We then hung them on a string with wooden clothespins.  We also made “lift-the-flap” calendars using an illustration board that we dazzled up with glitters. I would love to show you pictures, but unfortunately, they were in the hard drive that crashed.

This year, I found wedding favor mini-buckets that are perfect for my color-scheme at home….white! Here’s a photo of it:

I just cut out old ribbons that I’ll never get to use anymore because of the length (bitin!) and some red Japanese paper. Into the mini-bucket they went, together with a sheet of paper saying what activity or surprise awaits the kids each day.  We’ve already done seven so far.

Ooh, I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Finally!!! Internet!!!!

Something went wrong with our internet for almost a month. At the same time, we had our phones disconnected sooner than planned. So literally, I’ve been “disconnected” from the world for the past couple of days (or weeks??)….and it’s been great! It’s amazing how much more we get done when we take some time away from the things that were invented to supposedly help us get more things done (gets?). As a result of this “de-tech-xification”, I realized that I have to be more conscious of how much time I allot to the use of gadgets. I am not really a techie person, and I don’t enjoy just “surfing” the net and all, but once I do get online and a friend starts chatting with me, I really find it hard to say that I have to go when I really need to go.  That’s what keeps me online most of the time. And we all know that once we spend time on something, we are saying no to a lot of other things. Just because one can afford to say no to these other things and keep doing whatever it is we are saying yes to, doesn’t mean that it is the best use of our time, nor does it mean that it’s okay to keep at it. It’s so obvious, I know, but oh how I often need to be reminded!

With that, I’d like to say, “Thank you Lord, for allowing whatever it was that was hacked to get hacked (causing us to lose our internet connection), and for allowing dennis to wait  for more than an hour even if there were just two other people in line (causing him to get frustrated and have our line cut right there and then).”

I shall try to keep doing the following:

1. Turn on the computer, only before the children wake up and during our lunch breaks.

2. Stay invisible (Ssshhh!).

3. Stop clicking on links that will lead me to other links (Little Miss Input, right here!)

I’ve come to believe that the Rule of Three works best for me (is there really such a thing, or did my dad just make me believe this??). I find that it’s doable, it’s sustainable, it’s memorable….so let’s stick with these three and see if we can stick with this for at least 21 days, shall we?  Twenty-one is supposedly the number of days it takes for a particular thing to become a habit (or to break a habit), plus it is divisible by three, so we’re good.

I was trying to make sense of my schedule tonight. Without realizing it, I have been saying yes to people and yes to a lot of responsibilities since the beginning of this year (or has it been this way for a number of years now??), more than what is necessary. It’s so much easier to say yes, isn’t it?? I don’t have to feel bad for turning down some people or some tasks….as long as I say yes. Of course, it is also such a joy to spend time with people and to build relationship with them. My love language is time, so any invitation to hang out is difficult for me to say no to– especially when there’s food involved (correction: my love language is time AND food). Almost always, I am more than willing to spend my time doing things that I love, for people that I love (or I’d love to get to know and love)…and forget about how much time I can actually afford to give them. For example, I’d set an appointment with someone and tell that person I can meet her for an hour. An hour would pass, then two, then three..and I still would not be able to find it in me to tell that person that I have to go and do something else. I tell myself that I’d just adjust the rest of my schedule and try to offset whatever time was  ”lost” by waking up extra extra early or sleeping extra extra late. Of course we all know that this would domino down to the household duties, parenting duties, wife duties….and all other areas we still need to take care of. This happens with all other chores too. I love taking care of the home, so much so that I don’t mind not sleeping just to finish whatever task I am preoccupied with.

If I just look at things superficially, everything actually looks fine. It is good that I spend time with people. It is good that I make sure the house is orderly. It is good that I am with the kids practically everyday. It is good that I can do ministry stuff that I so love, in support of my husband’s work. It is good that my nights are more or less set to be with Dennis. It all looks good.

“Looks” good.

But I just know I need to do some tweaking. I feel I am spreading myself too thin, compromising whatever BEST I can actually give to my family.

So tonight I listed down everything that I have on my plate (I wonder why this sentence makes me want to go out and grab something to eat??). I ended up overwhelmed, having a whole web of words on my notebook! I actually had to solicit Dennis’ help, since he is my schedule-and-strategy go-to guy. He helped—–a bit. He was able to get two things off my plate, but that was about it. His conclusion was: “There’s really not much you can do about your responsibilities, except put a specific time for each of those names/tasks…or to put a specific name to your time.”

Gee. Thanks a lot. :I

No, really… Thanks a lot. Put a name to your time— I hate to be legalistic with my time, but this may be what I need to focus on in the next couple of months or so…get used to putting a name to my time, and not let another name take over.

Hmm….there’s a word for this……

Is it DISCIPLINE??

Ah. Don’t we all love this word?

Anyway, as I was attempting to make sense of my days, I began to wonder how I made it last year with everything that went on. It was by far the most unstable year for us and I could not even figure out how we managed to get by. Then I remembered my other mom-friends who have to work aside from having to fulfill their tasks at home. Then I thought of my other mom-friends who have a lot more kids than me, and also minister to a gazillion number of people.

I could only conclude one thing from tonight’s thought-processing: The only way for me to have had managed the way I did so far has been by grace, and that’s how I will continue to manage. The only way that all my other mom-friends (both working and stay-at-home) are making it is by grace. As my friend Belle would put it, “Best friend natin si Grace” (“Grace is our best friend.”).

I pray for all of you, mom-friends– both “working” in and out of the home, that grace will be your best friend.

That our definition of getting by is not just being able to manage for purposes of survival, but being able to manage with much joy… and our sanity well in tact, too. I pray that this week, we will be able to say no to the things that are really not a matter of life and death, and say yes only to the things that God calls us to do.

To summarize: Let us make this week Project Plato. For me, this would entail unloading some things off my plate, which God is not really telling me to do, and also– literally unloading my plate…. each time I eat.

We can do this!!!!

WOW!!! Talk about TIMING! I got my very-much-missed Mac back from the computer shop AND I am now able to enter my site after weeks of just getting a syntax error line and some computer gibberish I could totally not understand…..just in time for mother’s day!!! Wooohoooo!!!! *dance*

Oh how I missed you , dear laptop! Oh how I missed you, dear WordPress interface!!!

God is a God of perfect timing, right? So I am thinking that He allowed me to get back to writing in time for mother’s day, so that my first “come back” post would be for all you moms out there. This is, after all, a site dedicated to encouraging and inspiring, and hopefully empowering you. (Well, that was the original plan, yeah…if that hasn’t happened yet, my apologies…I’m talkative and confusing that way!)

—-*Back to my message*—–

“You’re a supermom!” ….I sometimes hear that being said to some moms, and I wonder, “Why? Are there any ‘un-supermoms’??”   “What would make one qualify as a supermom?”

Is it the number of children— The more children you have, the more “super” you are?? Is it the capacity to multi-task and juggle various responsibilities at any given time— The longer your checklist, the higher up the super level you go?? Is it the way the kids turn out— the more apt they are in using polite words, the better??  Is it the capacity to raise super-children who are super-geniuses—The higher the grades and the younger they go off to college, the more super??

In a world where everything is measured according to performance, it is all too easy to judge mothers according to their output— the measure of how good they are is directly proportional to the performance of their children, or how busy they seem to be. The more responsibilities they try to manage, the better. Honestly, I refuse to buy into this measuring system set by the world. First of all, it neglects the fact that our children have different giftings and personalities, and so they bloom and grow in different ways. Just because one learns to read later doesn’t necessarily make him/her any less smarter and the mom of that child less “concerned” with him/her. Second, it forgets the fact that moms too, have different giftings and personalities. Hence, they handle things in different ways. Just because one mom is able to juggle more tasks at a time doesn’t make her any better than the other mom who prefers to “focus” on one thing at a time. Third, it takes God out of the picture. It removes the grace of God out of the equation and out of the whole picture of parenthood. This puts the burden of making sure our children turn out right all on us. What a scary place to be in, since any mom would know that no matter how much you try to guide your children, they do have their own will, and would sooner or later live out their lives according to the orientation of their hearts.

I can rest assured that my children will turn out right, not because I feel I have done an awesome job in hammering biblical principles into their hearts (I am quite certain I have a long way to go in this area); Not because I make them memorize all the verses, both from the old and new testament….but because I know their destinies are not left to chance, nor are they left to me (although I do play a vital part, yes). I can rest assured that my children will turn out okay because I know that it is God who holds their hearts and that ultimately, it is He who parents them and guides them, especially in areas that are out of my control.

Proverbs 31:29,30 says “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

This, for me, is the measure of a supermom: the fear of the Lord.

As moms, we all have different experiences, different giftings, different seasons, and different stories to tell. It is easy for us to compare ourselves with other moms and wonder if we’re doing a good-enough job. At the end of the day, though, it is not really so much about doing a good-enough job as it is about living our lives yielding to God and allowing Him to fulfill His purposes in our lives. At the end of the day, it is not so much about the many things that we are able to do, as it is about the many things that God does in our hearts and the lives of our children. It is not so much about trying to be a supermom as it is about relying on the grace of God to enable us and empower us to do whatever He has called us to do, in whatever season and area He has placed us in.

I want to encourage you today, mom-friends, that no matter how the world will try to convince you otherwise, you are supermoms. And you are supermoms, not because of anything that you have done, are doing, or will try to do…but because God’s grace and power has already been made available for you— to empower you, to strengthen you, and to help you fulfill your calling as moms.

I pray for you today, mom-friends, that you will live out your adventure-filled mommy lives full of the grace of the Lord and the strength that comes from Him. I pray that as you go about all your daily tasks, you will find joy like no other. I pray that as you interact with your children, you will get to celebrate each moment and build wonderful memories with them. I pray that as you take on the role of mom, along with all other roles life requires of you, you will be filled with wisdom to know what really matters. I pray that each time you feel tired and overwhelmed (and you terribly need that six-hour body massage, foot spa, body scrub, plus a totally new hairstyle), that you will find peace and times of refreshing in your quiet moments with our Heavenly Father.

I honor you today, moms-friends, for you willingly give of yourselves for your families. Oftentimes, the work that you do go unnoticed and unappreciated, but you still do it anyway. You do it, not because of the recognition you hope to get, and not because of any material compensation (how I wish there was such a thing for us)…but you do it because of love. I am always amazed at the great lengths you are willing to go through and endure for your children. I honor you for your capacity to love. I honor you for your ability to give. I honor you for your willingness to set aside yourselves, for your children’s sakes. I honor you for dedicating your lives to nurturing and raising the precious gifts God has blessed you with.

Happy mother’s day!!!

———————

photos: bestcomments.net

myorkutglitter.com

I lose track of how many makeover shows there are, but I just know there are many. This just goes to show how many women are so consumed with trying to look beautiful on the outside, which all these shows promise to do for you. What these women don’t realize is that ten years from now they would again be looking for other ways to give themselves a makeover. They then resort to what technology now has to offer. Then they do it the next year again….and the year after that. I have to say, more and more people really are looking better and better on the outside, and I am amazed at how it’s getting harder and harder to tell a woman’s age now based on how she looks. If I had the money, oh wow I’m sure I’ll be tempted to try all these creams and facials!!

WAIT. This isn’t the kind of beautiful I wanted to talk about now. I actually wanted to introduce you to one beautiful woman I know and who is very dear to me…

Meet Sister Claire.

I went to visit this grand-aunt of mine today, who I grew up calling “Lola Madre” (the nickname because that’s what she is…my lola and a nun). She is a dentist by profession, but she chose to dedicate her life to God and the church. It’s been quite some time since we last got to visit her, and so upon entering her room and seeing her, I felt the tinge of reality of how quickly time passes. The last time I saw her, she wasn’t this…..old yet (and I say it with no negative connotation to the term whatsoever). I was surprised to see how her hair has now gotten all gray. Her crowning glory has always been a dark color….but then again that was probably because her hair was always covered! Hehe. She was always up and about every time we visited her in the past, but this time she was lying on her bed unable to move because she just got a hip fracture that warranted surgical procedures.

So yes, my dear Lola Madre looks so much different now, but you know what I kept thinking the whole time we were there chatting with her?  I was thinking of how beautiful she has gotten through the years. And then I was thinking of how I really shouldn’t worry so much about looking good on the outside as much as I should be concerned with making sure I have the right heart, cultivating the beauty that comes from within and that can only grow more beautiful with time.

My Lola Madre has devoted her life to mentoring hundreds of young women who have had difficult experiences. She has blessed so many with her life, showing care and compassion to those who needed it. She is content with life, and has chosen not to waste her years going after material gain or whatever this world would consider a measure of success. She has a relationship with God, which gives her peace and joy that transcends human understanding…and that peace can be seen in her eyes.

This Lola of mine is one beautiful woman and I thank her for reminding me of what beauty really is even without saying a word. I left her  room praying that I too, will age gracefully and beautifully. I left her room praying that I will always remember to pour my heart and my time not on the temporal things of this world– things that can be gone with just one swipe of a credit card or that will fade away with the help of the forces of gravity– but to pour out my life investing in things that really matter.

If I were to ask her for her top three tips on how to stay beautiful or how to become more beautiful with age, I doubt that she will know anything about the most effective moisturizers or slimming treatments. There might not even be any mention of any product. She would most likely give me the following tips:

1. Cultivate your relationship with God. He is the one who can give you joy and peace and love like no other, and that’s really what will give your face that irresistible glow.

2. Invest in and develop healthy relationships. There’s nothing like being surrounded with people who genuinely love you and who will sincerely rejoice with you in times of triumph, and stand with you in times of testing.

3. Stop thinking less of yourself, but think of yourself, less. (I heard this from someone else…was it Rick Warren?? Please correct me if I’m mistaken)

Okay, I’m just assuming that these will be her answers, but I’m pretty sure my made-up answers are not so far off from what she’d tell me. I’ll probably ask her when I visit her again, then I’ll compare her answers with my assumptions.

* I wrote this last January 16, 2011, but I just realized I never got to post it. Oops!

I just got word– it is the hard drive.

Here’s the thing.  I have four talks to do this month of February and the lessons are in that hard drive. I decided to get a new household help and I already have my own personalized “manual”– with English-Tagalog versions– and it is in that hard drive. All the lesson plans I have crafted from scratch in an attempt to get myself going and psyched-up for homeschooling– they are all in that hard drive. All the customized household management stuff I had made that suit my system of doing things? …In that hard drive. Files upon files of downloaded material from whatever “research” I have made– you guessed it! In that hard drive. Most of all, drafts and thousands upon thousands of pictures representing MEMORIES are in that hard drive.

I am asking myself, “Why did you not create back-up files?? How could you have been so careless??”

I guess the thought ALWAYS crossed my mind. It’s just that there was always something “more important” that I had to take care of at the times that that thought came up. And I am sure all those things that were “more important” that I just had to do were valid. They were not excuses I came up with just to avoid backing up my files. Who wouldn’t want to have the security of having back-ups??

Here’s the lesson here:

Some things may not seem as important as others….until they start screaming “Urgent!”

Another thing:

Some things will never even scream “Urgent!” or “Important!” ….You just realize they are, when they’re gone.

Also,

“Stuff” are just stuff, and will always be just stuff. They are placed on earth as tools to help us, thank you Lord for that. However, it is a dangerous thing to be so reliant on them, as many of us are (Yes! I’m talking to you Thammie!!!). They can just snap and break and….be gone. Just like that.

Reality check: Am I letting technology take over how I function??

….I think I’m just having withdrawal symptoms. That, or denial syndrome.