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How to Maximize Technology

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010
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Before anything else, I’d like to point out that we still don’t have internet in our new home, and that’s the main reason why it’s been taking me forever to post updates. :( Almost everyday, I think of something and I go “Oh, I have to write this!”, only to be reminded that I won’t be able to. For some reason, my brain goes on protest whenever I try writing using Microsoft Word. I think it still equates it with the many sleepless nights of writing papers way back in college that now it refuses to function even for “leisure” sake.

The other night Dennis and I decided that it might be best not to have internet at home. The office is just a few minutes away so it is easy to go online if ever the need arises. We thought about the many things we could do instead of spending time online— we could read more, communicate better, play with the kids without any tempting distractions….in short, we will be more fruitful with our time. We were both convinced and we were in agreement in this particular decision.

And then we woke up the next day. Dennis told me he realized that we actually need to have internet at home since a big part of our lives is connected to being online. We both love to blog, we get connected and keep in touch with other people through the social networking sites, we have an online bookstore…so yes, it actually is a “necessity” if you look at it from that perspective (Of course you and I both know we would actually survive without it!).

I still want to be more fruitful, though. I still want to be able to read more, to communicate with my family better, to spend more quality time with the kids without any distractions. I want to be up-to-date in today’s world, yet still be old-fashioned with how I spend my time with my family. As the Bible puts it (in a different context, but I think it’s still applicable in this case), “It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes .” (Ecclesiastes 7:18)

I guess it all goes back to reminding myself of my priorities, and being DELIBERATE in making sure I practice what I put on paper.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”, right?

Let’s put this in practice. I shall list down the things I plan on doing and not doing in order to make the best out of having technology, and not let technology get the best of me.

1. God first.

I am reminded of this question from one of our pastors: “Are you quicker to answer a phone call or a message from Facebook than you are in picking up your Bible and hearing from God?”

2. My husband second.

How guilty I am of often thinking it’s okay for me to stay online since my husband can also go and be online anyway. I will make an extra effort to shut down my computer so as not to shut out my husband.

3. My kids next.

It’s amazing how fast time flies when you’re browsing through the net! You spend an hour only to realize there really wasn’t much that you’ve accomplished; nothing really life-changing that you’ve done. If you have only spent it playing with your kids instead, you would have already planted seeds of character in their hearts that will bear much fruit in the future. So here’s the action plan:

I shall use my laptop only when the kids are asleep.

4. My household after the kids.

Oh, even if they are asleep, I still have to make sure all my household chores for the day are done.

5. Last (and yes, the least)– internet.

Okay, so now I am online. It’s a good break especially for someone who stays home most of the time. I still have to always keep in mind the reason why I go online in the first place. It is to grow as a person– through the knowledge gained from the internet, through the many resources and references available– and to grow in my relationships– by getting connected and keeping in touch, by blogging, by “saving” time on some chores and tasks so I can better allot my time… I AM TO GROW every time I go online. If I am failing to achieve this, time to sign out.

At the risk of sounding redundant, I say it again:

I will make the best out of technology, and will make every effort in not letting technology get the best of me. :)

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Posted in God-moments, home making, household tips, marriage, parenting | 2 Comments »

You Must Teach Your Baby to Read

Saturday, August 21st, 2010
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Lately I have been having these thoughts….

…..I guess you can call them apprehensions? Concerns? I’m not really sure what to call them, but they are all in line with the thought of me not being able to stick to a certain routine for the past months. I know I sound like a broken record with this “routine” thing, but it really is a pressing concern I am facing now, especially since I am the type who thrives on having routine.

Some very well-meaning family members have expressed their concern over how Alyanna and Mikaela might be lagging behind in their “skills” since I haven’t had the time to “teach” them anything the past months. Well, if you think of teaching as something that can only transpire in a classroom setting, or only when the teacher (in my case, moi) and the student are going through a particular academic material or lesson plan, then that presumption would be true. It would be true that I have failed to teach my children. It would be true that I should feel pressured to double up my efforts in teaching them so they can somehow “catch up”.

BUT then again, I also have to remember that I have been teaching them even as we just play together and enjoy one another. I have been teaching them even by just conversing with them. More importantly, I have to remember that they are still so young!!!

Mika’s two and a half, Alyanna is four and a half… Young!!

Sadly, for a moment there I have succumbed to society’s measure of good parenting. My kids have to be able to read by three. My kids all have to be exclusively breastfed until seven (hehe I’m exaggerating of course, but you get what I mean….BTW, I am FOR breastfeeding! Try with all that you have to be able to!). My baby should be potty trained by two. My toddler should know all the colors, all the shapes, should be able to count in at least two languages, and could count backwards…..You get the picture I’m trying to paint, right??

Society has led us to believe that if we want to set our kids up for success in life, we have to bombard them with all the education and “brain stimulation”   at the earliest age possible. Again, I am for brain stimulation, and I am (now I am willing to admit it) a nerd who loves academic stuff, but to be trapped in a certain degree of fear just because some of us do not have the luxury of enrolling our young children to the best preschools or buying the latest educational toys is simply WRONG.

Do we remember what it was like when we were three or four years old? Were we ever pressured to memorize so much material and read at a very early age and perform academically?

No wonder I see spas that offer “de-stress” services for children!

……I’m sorry. Everything I just said was not really what I planned to say. Hehe. :)

What I really wanted to say is this:

Lately I have been having some guilty feelings  because I haven’t really been able to sit down with my children and follow my intended lesson plans and curriculum, and I’ve been having fears of how they might perform academically because of this so-called lack of teaching and learning. I lifted all this up to God in prayer and here is the one thing that He has impressed in my heart in response to all this:

It has been my grace from the very beginning of your parenting. It will be my grace still, that will carry you and your children through…until the very end.

Sabi ko nga Lord. :)

Thank you for your GRACE. :)

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Posted in God-moments, child discipline, family, mothers, parenting, parenting help | 7 Comments »

Being Shut Down and Shutting Up

Saturday, July 31st, 2010
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Hello again everyone.

I know it’s been a long time since I last wrote anything. I also know that I should be writing something that’s well-worth reading as some sort of a “welcome back” post.

But please, please allow me to rant just this once. Maybe just for the next few minutes.

You see, I am now crying.

I am crying because this is the first time I got the courage to type in “www.thammiesy.com” again and see a different look, one that’s not yet fully developed. This is my first time to log in again, and see that I now only have 43 posts and 3 comments because everything else has been wiped out.

I am left with no choice but to officially say goodbye to the 200 something posts that have been lost due to Philhosting’s….what do you call it– incompetence? Negligence? I don’t know, really, because I don’t even know what  happened.

I am not that well-versed when it comes to world-wide web matters. All I know is I trusted this hosting company to run my website and then one day, it just disappears. Apparently, Philhosting just shut down my website. Just like that.

I wrote to ask them to fix whatever they needed to, and their reply was that they would see what had to be done. The next day, I got an email informing me that they couldn’t fix the problem and that the best they could do was give me another domain to host my site. To which I’d like to say, “Thank you”, but… I don’t want another domain. I want my posts back!

I again wrote back to ask them to please recover my files, but they told me they had no back up whatsoever, plus a defense that they had informed me about the “shut down” days earlier.

I never got an email from them days earlier.

All this happened three weeks ago. Quite a number of people have asked me why I haven’t been posting anything lately, why they couldn’t enter my site. Most assumed that it was because I have been busy with our house-move (which I have been, but that’s not why at all!). All I could tell them was “Please pray they could fix whatever is wrong. Please pray that my blogs are still in tact.” And for the past two weeks that has been one of my prayers.

My well-meaning husband tried to encourage me by saying “Ga, if worse comes to worst, at least you get a totally new look for your site.”

But really, now….???….

I explained to him that all my previous posts were more than just “blogs for the heck of having blogs”. They were more than just posts to check in and make sure people were still visiting my site. Every minute that I spent writing, was also spent pouring out my heart and soul. Every word written was supposed to help me keep precious memories with my family and with my God fresh and alive. Every attempt to add insight was me discovering valuable principles that I needed to apply; me learning important lessons that I wanted to pass on to my children, too.

Funny. A few days ago I was being sentimental and told Dennis, “Ga, that was my legacy. Now it’s gone.” He just looked at me and said, “Uh….love, ang bata mo pa. Ang dami mo pang pwedeng iwan na legacy.”

Hehe. Well, He’s right. I am not that old and I still have much to learn. There are so many more memories I can build and still so much wisdom to be gained from future experiences.

I will not let this stop me from learning and sharing what I learn. I will not let this stop me from building relationships with all you beautiful women and sharing my life with all of you.

God can and will restore what was lost a thousandfold.  :)

See? This is what writing does to me. It helps me process things. And it is during these times when my brain and my heart agree to cooperate with each other and help me get over myself and remember to look to God and His plans and purposes.

So, yes. I am now (as in, NOW—right this minute!) able to stop crying. Hopefully, I can log in again tomorrow and not be sad anymore.

God allowed this to happen, so be it. :) All this, after all, has always been and will always be for His pleasure and for His glory. My life, and whatever legacy I would leave in the future will always be about Him and about serving His purposes.

So be it.

What’s done is done. Let’s have a go at this thing again.

See you! ;)

PS: Thank you, my love and best friend Dennis Sy, for your attempts to recover whatever could be recovered and for setting up a new site for me. I appreciate all your effort, even if sometimes you say the wrong things with the best intentions. Hehehe :) I know you’ve been praying for me, that I won’t get that emotional and sad. I think your prayers worked….a little. :D

PPS: Thank you Mia, for teaching us to check the cached files in Google. Now I know what “cached” means…I think.

PPPS: (Is this a valid PS?) TO ALL MY BLOGGER FRIENDS: Please make sure to copy-paste all your posts and have your own back up!

(Shucks. Now I have to open Word more often. My brain doesn’t like Word very much— brings back memories of toxic college days of papers and deadlines. Oh well. :) )

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How NOT to create a Monster: Disciplining Kids

Monday, June 28th, 2010
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Today Alyanna and I had a very dramatic mother-daughter moment. As much as I want to say that it was all a sappy and sweet kind of drama, it wasn’t. Rather, it was a moment when I wanted to just yell at her and get mad. I felt so disrespected by her. She talked as if she was a rebellious teenager and just couldn’t tolerate it. I was sad, hurt, confused, frustrated….My system just wanted to blow.

“I’ve created a monster!”

I’m sure Alyanna felt the same way. I’m sure she felt as if she just wanted to yell and get mad at me, too. I’m sure she talked the way she did to let me know she didn’t like not having her way. She felt as if she knew what she wanted and that she was right and I was wrong for not allowing things to go her way.

In her eyes, I was the monster.

Our drama lasted for almost an hour, I think. Almost an hour of crying, time-outs, talking, discplining, and then afterward, reconciliation. I did not want to be the one to discipline her because I did not want to communicate any frustration or anger to her. I asked Dennis to intervene, and so he had the disciplining part covered. When Alyanna’s pride was finally broken and she was sincerely sorry for the way her heart was and the way she acted, I talked to her. She asked me to teach her and to always remind her to be respectful and loving. I told her for me to able to teach her she had to remove pride in her heart, and allow me to speak into her life and remind her.

Out of the blue, Alyanna asked me, “Mom, how do I get to Heaven?”

*TEACHABLE MOMENT ALERT!*

I told her how all of us have a black heart because of our sin. I told her how Jesus came and died on the cross so that we can be forgiven of our sins and so that we can be saved and be with God in heaven. I told her how all of us, including mommy and daddy, need Jesus to come into our lives and change our hearts. I asked her if she wanted to ask Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her,  give her a new white Alyanna heart and change her. She said yes. We prayed.

Of course, this conversation (and the drama prior to it) went on longer than how I am relaying it now. I just want to spare you the lengthy details.

*FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DATE*

It’s been a couple of days now and I have seen how Alyanna’s temperament has changed, and how it is easier for her to extend kindness and love to those around her. A few days ago, she told her aunt how Jesus has given her a new Alyanna heart.

She has understood. Apart from what Jesus has done on the cross, all of us have monstrous tendencies because of sin. Only by the power of what Christ has done on the cross can we be changed and given a new heart– a heart that knows how to love, forgive, hope, and be selfless.

I remember that a few nights before our drama took place, Dennis and I prayed that Alyanna would understand what Jesus has done for her and that she will accept Him as her Savior and Lord. I didn’t expect God’s answer to come so soon (a day or two after), but it just goes to show how God wants to reveal himself even to our very young children. It just goes to show how much He loves them and how He really is partnering with us as we parent our children.

Parents, let us be diligent in praying for our children, and let us be keen on seizing teachable moments. If I had allowed my emotions to rule, I wouldn’t have been able to show grace and forgiveness and compassion. I would not have seen the opportunity to minister to the heart of this little girl, and to hear her cry for a Savior.

Thank you Lord for working in my heart AND in my child’s heart. Thank you for saving us from our monstrous selves and for the grace to live lives that will please you. :)

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Am I Beautiful? part 2

Sunday, June 6th, 2010
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Alyanna: “Mom, Am I beautiful?”

Me: “Of course!!! You are sooo beautiful!”

Alyanna: “I’m beautiful even if I don’t wear make-up and wear nail polish?”

Me: *shocked*

Alyanna is just four years old and already she concerns herself with this. I don’t know what made her start to think that the only way for her to be beautiful is by putting on color– not just on her face, but even on her nails! I dread to think how erred her thinking would become if I do not make an intentional effort to speak the truth of God’s Word in her life starting NOW.

We take one look around and we see hundreds of billboards, TV ads, and magazines…all geared toward making us think that we need to look a certain way and dress in a particular fashion to look beautiful and be loved and appreciated. I apologize for having to use the term I am about to, but I hate how the world is so brilliant and creative in brainwashing us. I hate how the world is succeeding in dictating to us our sense of worth. I hate how we have allowed the world to set the standard for what is and what is not beautiful, what is and what is not good, what is and what is not right. I am using the word “us” because it’s not just our kids they are getting to. I find that I, too, have to constantly check my heart and remind myself of God’s Word and what He says He thinks about me, what He says about how He created me.

I don’t know about you, but I love my kids way too much and believe in the destinies that God has set in their lives to just allow the world to twist their minds and lie to them. I will not allow the world to steal their identity. I will not allow this world to dictate their worth. I will not hand them over to the systems of this world!

Whoa! Galit ka ba Thammie?? Hehe…Hindi naman. Nagpapaliwanag lang. :D

Parents, let us make an intentional effort to speak God’s truth into the hearts of our children every day. It is my prayer that God will give us the wisdom and creativity to be able to mold our kids’ ways of thinking according to God’s Word. I pray that we will be keen to identify areas in which our children need our assurance and affirmation, and that we will be proactive in ministering to their felt needs. I pray that as parents, we will be at the forefront of the battle for our children’s hearts and minds.

…..And all this is because of Alyanna’s one question. ;)

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Argh! The Guilt

Friday, May 21st, 2010
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The internet connection here is crazy! I never know when I can get to go online. Since I’m online now, I might as well give you an update on my stay here in CDO. :)

I’ve only been here a couple of days but I am missing Dennis so much already. I really wish he would SURPRISE me and come here even for just a few days! hehe (Now, in this part, I am wishing he gets to read this post and that his eyes would get glued to this particular paragraph! ;) )

I wanted to write on my second day here, but I didn’t get the chance to. Well, the only reason I wanted to write was to let my guilt out. On my first full day here (meaning, the day after we arrived), I just sat in front of food the whole day, chatting with my sister. I left the kids with the yaya I grew up with (and so, I trust)… and I really didn’t do any work that day, mainly because there was no housework to be done and the kids were out enjoying the plants and the sun.

By mid-afternoon, I was itching for something to do. I needed to feel like I was doing something productive. That’s when I tried going online to blog (See? I consider communicating with all of you productive! *big grin*). That didn’t work because the connection wasn’t working. I tried to start reading the book I brought with me, but that required too much thinking and focus— something my brain didn’t want to do. I thought about running around the compound since I haven’t done that this year, and thought it would be nice to get to run before June strikes (which would mean we’d be well into the second half of the year already)— thought being the operative word in all this. I thought it would be nice to exercise  and get sweaty (thus, shedding off the calories and the guilt from all the food intake)…but I then thought it was too hot and I might get too sweaty. So, I erased that thought. Next, I wanted to clean the room we were staying in, but there really wasn’t much to clean since there’s just a bed, a table and chair, and another bed.

Aaaah!!! The guilt!!!!

“You are being so unproductive Thammie! You’re not working! You’re not busy with anything! You’re not tiring yourself out! Something’s wrong in this picture!!!”

…And then BAM! It hit me: I AM ON VACATION.

Oh… so that’s why I’m not working! That’s why I’m not busy with anything! That’s why I’m not tiring myself out!

Aaahh… I AM ON VACATION! :)

All too often we mistakenly associate being busy with being productive. We automatically think that as long as we are busy, we are okay because it means we are being productive. And once we take a breather and clear our schedules, we feel guilty because we feel we are not accomplishing anything.

Wrong. Just because we are busy doing things does NOT at all mean that we are being productive. We can be doing a million things yet still not achieve the very things that we are supposed to. Our schedules can look so full and we can appear to be so busy yet miss out on the important things in our lives. We can be preoccupied with too many things yet miss out on the one thing that God has called us to do. Being busy does NOT mean we are being productive.

In this result-oriented society, it is also easy for us to take rest for granted. We live such hurried lives that once we slow down and relax even just for a full day, we get restless before sundown. We act as if the world will fall apart once we stop working. Once we do get that much-needed rest, however, we realize that the world does in fact allow for us to take occasional breaks. Rest recharges us and prepares us to be all the more productive for the next leg of work that we’d be tackling up ahead. The right amount of rest actually helps us become more productive.

Now, am I speaking truth or am I just trying to justify myself and my schedule here??? hehe :)

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Coping with Change

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010
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Thammie Sy, Reporting for duty! :)

I guess you can call our lifestyle as nomadic for the past month. Everything has been somewhat unstable for us since the start of the summer. To recap, our helper got pregnant and had to leave, our other helper got sick and eventually also had to leave, we got a temporary labandera (who made it clear early on that she was only going to work for us for a month, which made it difficult for me to trust her), our aircon broke down right when the  heat was at its peak so we all had to squeeze into our kids’ bedroom, I almost got dropped from my class since I was unable to  report (having no one to leave the kids with), our temp finally left, we decided to stay over at my in-laws house for a week so I can attend my classes again (and leave the kids with them), we stayed in two different rooms over  a period of only a couple of days, and now….I’m in Cagayan de Oro! We just flew in today. Whew!

One thing I’m not really all that excited about, is having to cope with change. If it were up to me, I would love for things and routines to stay the same. It usually takes me some time to get settled into a particular routine and get comfortable with new things.

I am  now reminded of the story about Moses and the Israelites, when they exited Egypt. They were given instructions to stay in one place when they saw the pillar of cloud settle, and pack up and leave as soon as the cloud was lifted. How difficult that must have been for the homemakers and mothers at that time! Imagine not knowing how long you had to stay in a certain place, and not being able to psyche yourself up for the the next season of your life. Yikes.

One thing that probably  kept the women sane in spite of all the “instability” at that time, however, one thing that perhaps made it somehow easier to follow God’s instructions, trust His leading and wait on Him for their next move, was the fact that they have seen God’s faithfulness as He led them. They have seen His character and knew that it was best to wait on Him (the times they got into most trouble were the times when they forgot to wait and trust!). They were able to trust God to be God, and so let God be God (except for some times of “rebellion” due to impatience on their part).

I know that the changes that have been going on in our household can be considered petty compared to some of the changes that some of you might be experiencing. While mine is just a matter of having to cope with some form of inconvenience in terms of our living conditions, some of you might be going through major transitions. For the other moms, it might be having to cope with changes in your kids as they enter different stages in their lives. For other wives, it might be changes in their husband’s career, or changes in the dynamics of their relationships. Again to some, it might be having to go through rough adjustments due to some loss in finances, or health, or someone in the family.  Just the same, I think that we can all learn from the women of the Bible. We can all rest in the fact that we have a God who is faithful. We have a God who is in control, who not only takes note of the changes that are going on in our lives, but is actually on top of all things. Most of all, we have a God who loves us and who will never leave us nor forsake us.

On a side note, I was initially concerned with how my kids will cope with all the change. I was expecting them to cry and look for our helpers, to perhaps complain about the instability. That was not the case at all. On the contrary, I don’t think they even considered anything as unstable. In their eyes, we have been on top of things. They are excited with the fact that they have no other “ate” to run to, only mom and dad. And they are okay because they can see and feel that mom and dad’s love for them remains constant. Ooh, how I want to say that “they’re okay because they are blessed with a mom whose character is very steady, who doesn’t snap nor gets stressed”….but God sees and knows EVERYTHING, so I will not go that route. O=)

How we can best cope with change is not all that different from how we can help our children best cope with what they feel is change. Just like us, they need to know that there is someone who is in control of things, someone they can trust, someone who is on their side, and someone who loves them unconditionally. It is good that they know that their mom/dad can be that someone, but it is best if they learn to look to their Heavenly Father,  to be that Someone.

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The Blame Game

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
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It all started in the Garden of Eden.

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”                         –  (Gen. 3:12-13)

Since the beginning of time, up until now, it is human nature to play the blaming game. Our kids do it all the time, but it’s no surprise really, since we do it all the time too. And why not? It is so much easier that way. We relieve ourselves of the responsibility, and if we’re lucky, we might just succeed in relieving ourselves of the consequences of our decisions altogether, right?

Well, it may seem that way. Once we are able to convince those around us that someone else was really responsible for making us act a certain way, we might get excused from receiving the direct consequences of our actions. But is being excused really what is beneficial for us?

Lately, this has been the scenario in our home:

I leave the girls in their room while they are happily and lovingly playing together. After about five minutes, I hear one of them begin to cry, and by the time I get to them, both of them are already crying and trying to overpower the other.

“What happened?”

Unfortunately for the younger sibling, she is not yet quite able to articulate a defense on her behalf, so she resorts to making her cry louder, with the hope of getting my sympathy and my favor.

The older sibling, on other hand, not only is able to speak well, but is quite good in forming a very logical defense for herself.

“Mom! Mika was playing with the toy that I want, but I saw it first!”

“Yes? So what happened?”

Knowing that it’s against the rule to grab, Alyanna’s high-pitched tone becomes softer, as if trying as much as possible not to let me hear her answer…. “I grabbed.”

“Is that right or wrong?”

“Wrong… BUT mom Mika got the toy from the table where I was playing!”

“Grabbing..is it right or wrong?”

“Wrong.”

Lesson One: Whether or not it was somebody else who first did you wrong, you are responsible for what you do next.

If you have ever been in the middle of a sibling fight like this, you know that it doesn’t end here. Usually there is whining involved— a lot of it, usually. In our home, one of the things we teach our kids early on is that “Whining is a no-no.”

“Why are you using that tone of voice, love?”

*more whining* “Because Mika did not want to share with me, and sharing is good!”

Lesson Two: Sometimes we may even have a pretty good case for ourselves, but you are responsible for how you defend your case.  If you break the rules along the way, don’t blame it on the other person involved.

“Okay, love I need to discipline you.”

“But mom, Mika also whined and grabbed!…. You’ll  give her the rod, too?”

Lesson Three and Four: Just because somebody else is doing it, doesn’t make it right. You have a choice not to follow it. In addition, that person is responsible for his/her actions. Concern yourself with what you are responsible for…. And trust that God (or in this case, mom or dad) will deal with the other person, too.

Of course, just because I don’t really have a dialogue with my two year-old that I can share with you here (it is usually more of a monologue for now, something I cherish since I know my monologue time is almost up), it doesn’t mean that she was excused for what she did. Both of them did what they knew were no-no’s, so both of them had to take responsibility for what they did.

It is human nature to try to put the blame on somebody else, mainly because life just seems easier that way. But if we always try to point our finger and look at the other person and their faults, we will never learn to take responsibility for ourselves– our decisions and our actions. We will grow old and but not grow up. We will grow old and find ourselves still looking for other people to blame for the kind of lives we’re living.

As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children to take responsibility.

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ER Incident

Saturday, May 1st, 2010
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It’s seven-thirty in the morning as I am writing this, and I haven’t had any sleep yet. I am now here in the ER of St. Luke’s Medical Center, waiting for the attending doctor to sign Mika’s discharge orders. I requested for them to allow us to go home first, since Mika already fell asleep and there’s not much that they can do for now but to observe her. That’s really all they can tell us for now— “Let’s observe her.”, and that’s precisely what we have been doing since we got here.

At this time, Dennis is seated beside me, asleep (or at least trying very hard to be able to). Mika, too, is sleeping soundly on the bed they have here. Alyanna, on the other hand, well….Alyanna is there in our house sleeping by herself. I am praying she doesn’t wake up until we are back home.

Oh, I forget. I haven’t even told you yet why we are here.

I don’t really know how to describe the events leading up to the time when we had to bring our second daughter Mika to the ER, because there really hasn’t been any “symptom”, as you would call it, that seemed significant enough on its own. I guess I could start from early this week (Tuesday), when Mika all of a sudden lost her appetite. If you have seen Mika eat, you would know that she really eats. She enjoys eating. She got that from m-…uh…DENNIS. Since Tuesday she would refuse to eat proper meals and would always ask for water. I attributed the sudden loss of appetite to probably teething (molars), and the thirst to the heat. No cause of alarm there. Then came Wednesday morning. After breakfast as Mika was walking all of a sudden she vomited a lot of what seemed like her entire breakfast meal. This happened four times, consecutively, so I’m not sure whether to count it as four or as one event, but at that time I considered it as one so I didn’t think it was a cause of concern either. That day, there was still no change in appetite. She then took a nap from 2-6:30 pm. She slept late the previous night, so it made sense for me to think it was because of that.

Thursday came, and I had to leave her over at my in-laws house for the day. They said she didn’t eat much except for a few spoonfuls of rice and some crackers. They’ve seen how she normally eats so they pretty much had a good point of comparison. They also noted that she had no energy the whole day, and that she has lost a lot of weight (they last saw her Sunday). I only saw her that night but already I could agree with them. I also noticed that she had loose stools when I changed her diaper in the morning and that night. Thursday night I thought I should be observing her health more closely.

Yesterday, it was better. She ate more than she has for the past few days, though still not as much as before. All she ate for the day were pasta, rice, some bread, and potato. No meat, no veggies– she refused them. Her stools were very watery and grayish, and quite frequent. (By this time, I already decided to take her for a checkup the next day).

Two AM this morning, Mika all of a sudden vomited out everything she ate since lunch—the rice, pasta, potato, bread….all came out. She had a hard time breathing since they were all still in their undigested form, meaning, how they came in through her mouth was exactly how they looked like as they came out. It was not even watery. It was a good thing that she threw up at the exact moment that Dennis woke me up and asked me to move so he could have more space. I knew it was God who woke both of us up, or else Mika might have had difficulty breathing in her sleep and she wouldn’t have known it. She then made poopoo twice within 30 minutes after her vomiting episode.

We decided to bring her to the ER.

So here we are. Forgive me for having to give you the details of her whole week. I think I’m writing this more for my sake, so in case there’s a need to recount the progression of symptoms, it’s all here. Thank you anyway, for sticking with me up until this point.

Later today, Dennis will be preaching at two of our services at the Fort. We have no nanny. We have two events that we’re supposed to go to. What I’m saying is a good night’s sleep is something that both of us could really use today.

That didn’t happen, so now what do I do?

I do not have much control over what will be taking place the rest of the day. I do not have much control over Mika’s condition. I do, however, have control over how I am going to respond. I could use the lack of sleep as an excuse to be all jumpy and cranky; I could use the stress as a reason to snap at my husband and my children. I could, but I choose not to.

Today, I choose to have joy. I choose to rejoice in the fact that no matter what happens, my God is faithful and sovereign. The God who holds my family knows what He’s doing. I can rest secure in the fact that my God loves me and my family…and that’s just the beauty of it— despite not having any sleep, I can rest. I can rest because my God is on His throne, and He’s watching over me. :)

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Water Please?

Sunday, April 25th, 2010
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“Water please!”

I never thought the day would come that Mika would actually be begging me for water, but it has! I owe it all to the summer heat. :)

This morning I was reading my Bible when I saw Mika getting out of our bed and walking towards the table where we had their cups and a pitcher of water. Of course, she wouldn’t have been able to lift such a huge pitcher, so I am so glad one of the cups were actually filled with water. She quietly looked at the cute-colored cups, hoping to get one that had water in it, and when she found the orange cup with water, she drank away…this whole time not minding that I was out of bed and seated by our window. Usually, when she wakes up seeing that I’m not beside her, she calls for me. Not this time— she just wanted to drink, and after she finished her water, she wobbled her way back to bed and went back to sleep.

Two hours later, here they are, still asleep. Just a few minutes ago, Mika started talking in her sleep. I kept trying to figure out what it was… “Ten I haf wo-tuh please?”… I went to watch her, trying to see if she was really asking for something or was this part of a dream she’s having. I leaned closer….and saw that she opened her eyes a little bit. As soon as she saw me, she started asking in a more demanding tone, almost about to cry “Wo-tuh please! Wo-tuh…please!” And she started gesturing with her hand. I then understood that this little girl was really thirsty and needed some water.

As I propped her up for her to be able to drink her water, sleepy as she was, I was reminded of some conversations I’ve had with people who were telling me how they’re “feeling dry” in their walk with God. I sometimes come across old friends who used to have so much zeal for the Lord and now all they say is, “Nawala eh.”, and they’d start to tell me how they don’t know what had happened, but their passion just ran out and their journey all of a sudden became dry. Until now, I hear this from friends who seriously love the Lord and want to know Him more, but are struggling because they simply feel…nothing. They feel that it is a season of drought for them and their faith.

Here is a fact of life: we will not always be on the mountaintop, all high and hyped up in our faith. There will really be times when God will take us down to the valley, sometimes to the desert…where our faith will really not feel as vibrant and full of life. There are two things that can happen when we get to this point: either we allow ourselves to completely dry up OR we thirst and make an extra effort every time to drink in more of God’s presence and His Word. We either completely DEhydrate or we can choose to get up, wobble if you may, and REhydrate. Sometimes we might have to reach the point of crying out as we ask for more of God’s presence, but we do it anyway….until we get that drink that we so desperately need.

We cannot choose where God would place us. We cannot always control where the seasons of life would take us. We do, however, get to choose our responses and how we grow in each season. If you’re in the season of plenty, good for you. Praise God for that! Keep on flourishing! But if you’re in the season of drought, rejoice and praise God still! Keep on, anyway! Keep on asking God to fill and refill you until you’re once again flourishing and thriving. Remember, you lose not when you feel dried up. You lose only when you stop seeking and thirsting for Him.

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