Five Things to Remember When You’re “Help-less”


There are two reasons why I chose to be silent here for over a month. One, our helpers went on leave starting the holidays. And reason number two, I had to help the kids re-establish their routines since we were either out of the country or out of town for the most part of the latter half of last year.

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The past season has been a good learning experience for the family, though. Here are the top five things we were reminded of:

1. Everything is homeschool.

This is my daughter’s favorite line. Well, she really uses this as an excuse to just keep playing all the time, but she still has a point. The past months of seeing different cultures and having to do chores proved to be some of the kids’ richest experiences. Did we even have time to turn to their books and take care of their academics? OF COURSE!!……..Not. Not at all. But in my opinion, they learned way more than any book can teach them.

 

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2. Do not underestimate your kids.

They are capable of much more than what we give them credit for. Since I cannot be in two places at the same time, I really had to delegate work to the kids, and trust that they would do it well enough. In short, once a particular job was delegated,  it became their problem to worry about, not mine. You know what I realized? They will not make anything their problem to solve as long as it is still mine. But once I let go and let them be, they all did a pretty good job.

 

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Confession: Seeing them help each other made me tear up a bit.

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Tip: Watch something while doing this— and you won’t even see this as a chore! 

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Why, even the little one was capable of putting the food containers back in their proper place!

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Here, the girls were in charge of table setting. I say they did pretty well.

 

3. Know your win and celebrate it.

When the kids helped me clean the house before leaving for another trip so we could come home to a clean-enough house, that was a win. It didn’t matter that the kids had to take a bath late at night thereby destroying a previously-established routine of taking a bath and sleeping earlier.When the kids all woke up and even helped carry some bags at at 3 or 4 a.m. without whining (especially if they slept past midnight because of parties and family celebrations), that was a win. It didn’t matter that their movements were a bit slow once we got to the airport. When the kids helped take care of their little brother even if they only had 4 hours of sleep the previous night because of the airline’s crazy flight schedules, and when they try to keep up without complaining, that was a win. It didn’t matter that their hair was a mess and their headbands kept moving out of place.

 

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Messy hair?? What messy hair?? All I notice is that precious smile and good heart.

10991208_10153805617070021_3216058131780664320_n Obviously, the one who took this photo was still sleepy!

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 The sleepiness slowwwly setting in…..but I admire the effort to stay awake and alert.

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After-dinner chores

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In fairness to us, we managed to keep the house tidy enough to welcome dad each time he came home from work!

 

…..Know your win and celebrate it with your children. Let them know that they just won.

 

4. Choose your battles. 

Something’s got to give.

Although I would have loved for the house to be spotless all the time while still being able to spend enough time just playing with the kids, I had to lower my expectations most of the time. Although I would have loved my kids to stay well-groomed after a whole day of cleaning and doing chores with them, I had to be happy with them having clothes on!

Knowing how easily I can get lost in chores, and knowing how I prefer to have things all ordered and nice, I had to always choose my battles. Do not lose sight of what really matters at home– our relationships.

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 Taken during one of our advent nights. 

 

5. Life can be simple. 

Life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it to be.

We buy things we do not need, and now we have more stuff to clean up.

We fill our schedules with too many activities, and now we feel stressed and rushed all  the time.

We try to keep up with so many people, try to manage so many things….we end up doing more, and come home depleted.

 

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Life can be simple, and at the rate the world around us is going, we have to fight to keep it simple.