At the start of the year, I have been planning to potty train Mikaela. I took out the potty from the box and introduced her to it, I started reading her books about the potty, I initially always reminded her to tell me if she had to go so we could go seat her on the potty….basically I started her potty training year right by doing things according to how the experts will teach us. (Notice how much I used the word “potty”? That’s how determined I was! :p)

Then came our unexpected season of change. The weeks….the months….all went by just like one big blur, and before I knew it, we were already in the middle of our potty training year with no actual potty training that took place. All my preparations remained just that– as preparations. Since we’ve been moving to different houses and had no helper to take on our cleaning load, we resigned ourselves to our ever-reliable friend, the diaper.

As soon as we got semi-settled in our new home in the middle of August, Dennis and I decided that the first thing we would focus on as we try to slip back into our old routine and lifestyle was Mika’s potty training. We decided on this mainly because we felt that it was the SMART thing to do—  Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. (Hehe…okay, I totally just added this whole SMART thing. In actuality, Dennis and I just thought it would be the easiest goal to achieve for now!)

It’s been two weeks since I officially started potty training Mika and she is now able to go to the potty whenever she needs to (hooray!!!). I could say that based solely on how I potty trained my two daughters, I think I have found the secret. I think I have discovered the MOST EFFECTIVE technique of potty training very, very young children. In fact, I think I have discovered the MOST EFFECTIVE technique of doing ANY KIND of teaching and training for very, very young children ever!

Here’s the best-ever potty training technique:

STOP. DON’T.

Wait! Before some of you raise your eyebrows at me, please read the italicized words in the previous paragraph again. I said very, very young children. What I mean is this: with any kind of teaching and training that we do for our children, please STOP forcing your children and please DON’T rush them into achieving a certain developmental milestone. There are some things in life that would just take place without us forcing the issue. There are some areas of growth in our children that will develop, without us having to push our kids too much.

Our role as parents is this: to prepare as wide a platform for our children as possible so that when the time comes that they are physically and emotionally ready to do what they are supposed to do at a certain developmental level, they would already have the knowledge base and the skill set that they would need to put to use.

In the case of potty training, show them what a potty is, how it works, how their bodies work, how they should respond to their body’s needs. Remind them again from time to time….and let nature take its course. In the case of everything else that we normally concern ourselves with as parents, teach them Biblical principles, help them to acquire as much knowledge and skills, provide them with encouragement, love, and support along the way, and discipline them as necessary, then trust that all this will bear fruit.

When we stop rushing it and instead prepare the platform for our children to grow on, it will only be a matter of time when they will be doing what is required of them– and maybe even more.

This is the hope that I am holding on to:

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  (Proverbs 22:6)

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