It’s fascinating how our children, though they grow up in the same environment and interact with the same people, still end up with different personalities. Even by just looking at Alyanna and Mikaela (our one year-old), one can already see how different they are. Alyanna is very talkative, is into studying the details of things around her, and is very calculated with her ways. Mika, on the other hand, is the quiet type (so far!), is into watching the people around her, and is not as cautious and calculated as Alyanna. She can roll around our bed and could not care less about falling off the edge. I guess we could say that though Alyanna has Dennis’ looks, she is very much like me, and vise versa.

When Alyanna was a toddler, I appreciated the fact that she and I were so much alike– especially in the area of being cautious. I loved how I never had to warn her about not touching the electric fan and the electrical outlets, not opening drawers, and about how she should not just mouth everything in sight. I loved the thought of not having to worry about her getting injured or sick from “carelessness”.

Mika is just the opposite. I always have to watch her and be ready to tell her “no!” everytime she would try to touch the fan, lick the electrical outlets (yes, LICK!), open and close drawers, and mouth almost everything she sees. She loves to explore with all five senses! Ever since she could move on her own, I was so sure she would be the adventurous and daring type.

Lately, however, I’ve noticed that Mika has been more “fearful” of falling and getting hurt. I know that she is already physically capable of walking on her own, but somehow she freezes and cries everytime I try to let go of one hand (while still being held with the other one) and let her take a few steps. Lately she would not want to go down the bed on her own for fear of “missing” the floor even though she has been able to since she was 11 months old. I realized that this fearless little baby is slowly turning into a very calculated toddler as well–because of me!
Unintentionally, I’ve been teaching her to be fearful, all the while thinking I was just trying to “protect” her from unnecessary accidents.

I realized that though fear is a God-given instinct to us moms (thus making us quick to discern harmful situations), we have to make sure we are able to take control of this instinct and channel it wisely and well within balance. On one hand, we want to protect our children from danger, yet on the other hand, we do not want to cripple them by overly protecting them. There’s a fine line between being careful and being fearful. Being careful is when we take the NECESSARY steps to avoid the negative effects of what is PRESENT and REAL, while being fearful is when we take all precautionary steps –necessary and unnecessary — to avoid all outcomes of what MIGHT happen.

I don’t want my kids to miss LIFE just because they are afraid of what MIGHT happen. This means I myself should live life not constantly being afraid of them getting hurt, but always being reminded that we have a Heavenly Father who loves them much more than I ever could and who would take care of them and keep watch over them even at the times when I couldn’t.