It’s fascinating how our children, though they grow up in the same environment and interact with the same people, still end up with different personalities. Even by just looking at Alyanna and Mikaela (our one year-old), one can already see how different they are. Alyanna is very talkative, is into studying the details of things around her, and is very calculated with her ways. Mika, on the other hand, is the quiet type (so far!), is into watching the people around her, and is not as cautious and calculated as Alyanna. She can roll around our bed and could not care less about falling off the edge. I guess we could say that though Alyanna has Dennis’ looks, she is very much like me, and vise versa.
When Alyanna was a toddler, I appreciated the fact that she and I were so much alike– especially in the area of being cautious. I loved how I never had to warn her about not touching the electric fan and the electrical outlets, not opening drawers, and about how she should not just mouth everything in sight. I loved the thought of not having to worry about her getting injured or sick from “carelessness”.
Mika is just the opposite. I always have to watch her and be ready to tell her “no!” everytime she would try to touch the fan, lick the electrical outlets (yes, LICK!), open and close drawers, and mouth almost everything she sees. She loves to explore with all five senses! Ever since she could move on her own, I was so sure she would be the adventurous and daring type.
Lately, however, I’ve noticed that Mika has been more “fearful” of falling and getting hurt. I know that she is already physically capable of walking on her own, but somehow she freezes and cries everytime I try to let go of one hand (while still being held with the other one) and let her take a few steps. Lately she would not want to go down the bed on her own for fear of “missing” the floor even though she has been able to since she was 11 months old. I realized that this fearless little baby is slowly turning into a very calculated toddler as well–because of me!
Unintentionally, I’ve been teaching her to be fearful, all the while thinking I was just trying to “protect” her from unnecessary accidents.
I realized that though fear is a God-given instinct to us moms (thus making us quick to discern harmful situations), we have to make sure we are able to take control of this instinct and channel it wisely and well within balance. On one hand, we want to protect our children from danger, yet on the other hand, we do not want to cripple them by overly protecting them. There’s a fine line between being careful and being fearful. Being careful is when we take the NECESSARY steps to avoid the negative effects of what is PRESENT and REAL, while being fearful is when we take all precautionary steps –necessary and unnecessary — to avoid all outcomes of what MIGHT happen.
I don’t want my kids to miss LIFE just because they are afraid of what MIGHT happen. This means I myself should live life not constantly being afraid of them getting hurt, but always being reminded that we have a Heavenly Father who loves them much more than I ever could and who would take care of them and keep watch over them even at the times when I couldn’t. 
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Slept at 330am last night because Dennis and I watched The Apprentice. We planned to sleep at midnight but at the last minute decided that we might as well just finish the final episode.
After watching, I realized, “Okay, now that I know that Kelly won (yes, we just got to watch season 2 recently), will I wake up tomorrow as a better mom? Will I now be a better wife? will it help me manage my household better?”
……….So today, I threw out our TV.
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When your child has a temperature, here are some helpful hints on treating it naturally:
- The most important thing is to make sure that she does not get dehydrated, since the sweating and runny nose that often accompany a fever can deplete her body of fluids. Give your child a cup of tepid diluted apple juice every hour, and if she is a reluctant drinker pop a straw in, which will encourage her (hopefully).
- If your child is not hungry, don’t insist that she eats. Energy taken up digesting food is energy channeled away from the healing process. Make plenty of fresh raw juices. Juices rehydrate your child’s body, supply plenty of antioxidants and encourage the elimination of unwanted toxins. Most children love fresh raw juices, and these are all that is needed to see them through acute illness.
- Tepid sponging can be very effective at bringing down a fever naturally. For some who don’t like this, a tummy compress can be an effective fever controller and detoxifier. The important thing is not to let your child get cold. If your child is resistant to the above strategies, don’t insist. Just keep her nice and cool and wipe her forehead with a cool flannel when needed.
** my notes from the book Boost Your Child’s Immune System by Lucy Burney.
More to come.
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While we were eating lunch yesterday, Alyanna, out of the blue, said this to me:
“Mom, You know what? I’m so blessed to have you as my mommy.”
(Aaaahhh!!! The BEST!!!!)
ME: *with an exaggeratedly happy expression on my face, I suppose* “Really Alyanna???? That’s the sweetest thing to say! That makes me so happy!!!”
ALYANNA: *proud grin* “Are you tat mom?”
ME: “huh?”
ALYANNA: “Are you tat from what I said?”
ME: (Ah!) “Yeees! I’m sooo touched!”
ALYANNA: “Mom, you said touched? Is it touched? I thought it’s tat.”
ME: “Alyanna, you make me happy! ……What about you, what makes you happy?”
ALYANNA: *Stretches out her hand as if to touch my face* “YOU!” *big smile*
….Tat, tot, tet, tut…..I don’t care, anak. You made me feel all those things!
Of course, I know there will be another time when she’ll say she doesn’t love me, especially when I discipline her. That’s part of the whole mother-daughter dance. So for now, let me just savor the moment.
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I’m reminded of three scenarios that took place a couple of months ago, when Alyanna was still three-something years old. I took them to memory but never got around to blogging about them. I shall do that now, as I know it will be a good reminder for me (and hopefully to you, too) of just how much our children long for role models.
Part one:
There was a time (even before she turned three) that Alyanna got introduced to Connie Talbot, the six-year old singer who won on the show Britain’s Got Talent (*a reader just corrected me, Connie was just runner-up, not winner hehe,my mistake). Since then, Alyanna’s love for singing grew to a whole new level. She would sing in the car, while eating, before going to bed, in her sleep….everywhere, anywhere…everytime, anytime. She was so fond of this six-year old that she would sometimes call herself Connie Talbot or Alyanna Talbot, and would always wear boots (even here at home) because she thought that the boots would make her look like Connie. Why, she didn’t even allow me to get her a haircut because “Connie Talbot has long hair“.
This was also the season when Alyanna dreaded vegetables. One time, while we were having broccoli and cauliflower for dinner, Alyanna asked me what they were and I answered her, telling her to eat them. Before that time, she would just say no to eating veggies at the sight of anything green, but when I mentioned to her what those two kinds were, her eyes lit up as she asked, “what? CONNIE-flower?? Is this Connie Talbot’s favorite??” At that instant I saw a glimmer of hope that maybe— just maybe I can use this to get her to eat the healthy green stuff. I said “yep! Connieflower! And yes, maybe they’re Connie Talbot’s favorite….oh look! we even have little connietrees!!” (I know, I was pushing it ) ….I did have victory that day.
Part two:
After the Connie Talbot season was the season of the Von Trapp family. Alyanna just LOVED the Sound of Music! So much so that we even caught her singing “Lonely Goatherd” one morning, in her sleep. During this season, she would usually ask me “Do the kids in the Sound of Music like that?” or “Do the kids in Sound of Music do that?” whenever I’d ask her to do something.
Part three:
After Maria and the Von Trapps, came Disney. She actually has never scene a full Disney movie (to the extent of my knowledge). Most of the time we just play the parts with the singing (those scenes we thought were safe enough) or play the soundtrack to her. Even then, somehow she still got the prince-princess concept, which I have been trying to avoid. I was surprised when one day, as I was carrying her down the stairs as one would carry an overgrown baby, she asked me, “Mom, diba this is how a prince carries a princess??” And one time when Dennis asked to kiss her, she said, “Ok, you be the prince and I’m the princess, daddy!” Ayayay!! And we’ve never even shown her any of those “…and they lived happily ever after” parts yet!
Children are always on the look-out for role models. God wired them that way. However, at a young age, they do not really have enough discernment to decide which would be a good model to follow. It is OUR duty, as parents, to provide that filter for them in the meantime. More than filtering, God has given us the responsibility to be the good models for them to follow. This means that if I am to parent my children well, then I’d have to live my life well.
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