My father-in-law came to visit us earlier today. Alyanna does love him, but for some odd reason, she just isn’t warm and sweet to him…not like how she is with my mother-in-law, at least. Anyway, as I was coming down the stairs, I overheard my father-in-law persuading her to give him a kiss. When I got to our living room, I took it upon myself to help him persuade Alyanna into obliging him with a kiss…or a hug, at the very least. I took her aside, and after a few minutes, she finally gave in and agreed to give him a hug….but she insisted that I hold her hand while she did it. I went with her, and she slooowwly walked up to her grandpa and stood there in front of him, her body somewhat inclined towards him as if it was saying “If you want a hug from me, then YOU come and get it from me.” I think my dad-in-law got the message and knew it was the closest thing he could get to a hug from her so he happily took her in his arms and hugged her– Alyanna remained still and somewhat stiff (the “shy” kind of stiff, not the scared or indifferent kind). What came after took me by surprise and just made me laugh…
GRANDPA: *Hugging her tight and cherishing the rare moment* “Alyanna, you’re so fat fat na ah!” *rubbing the sides of her tummy, perhaps implying that her tummy was getting bigger*
ALYANNA: *Quickly forced herself out of those loving arms and hands* “No! I’m not fat!!”
GRANDPA: “Yes, you’re fat na, see your tummy? very big already!”
ALYANNA: *Now very disheartened by the comment, swiftly moved away from her grandpa and sat on our coffee table with both arms covering her tummy, frowning* “No! I’m not fat. I eat healFY (healthy) food! I always eat healfy food I can’t be fat! I’m not fat. You’re fat, not me!”
…At this point I knew I had to intervene….
ME: “No, Alyanna, what Ankong meant was that you’ve gained weight since the last time he saw you, but of course, you’re still not fat….You just got bigger because you’re a growing girl remember?”
ALYANNA: *Walks away from the table and moves to the other couch, still frowning*
GRANDPA: “Yes! Alyanna, you’re not fat! you’re still thin, but you’re fatter…but you’re still thin..just fatter….but thin!”
ME: “Remember? Before, you just weighed 20 pounds..now, you’re 30 pounds already! You’re bigger! But not fatter….because you always eat healthy food right?”
ALYANNA: *Feeling better now* “Yes.”
*She now smiles…and she starts pretending to be a baby and talking like a baby*
….I would understand why she reacted this way if her parents (that’s me and Dennis!) were the type who cared a lot about not getting fat….but obviously, we’re NOT! So I wonder, where’d she get this sudden body image issue??? I thought this was an adolescent thing…She hasn’t even turned four yet! Oh, dear…
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Posted by Thammie Sy on Jul 19, 2009 in Trips | 0 comments
July 13, 2009
My prayer just before leaving for Hongkong was, “Lord, please make this a stress-free vacation.” I knew I needed grace since this would be my first trip out of the country with the two girls.
I was right.
This was my first day “on vacation” but I got stressed out emotionally and physically. I wish I could say that it was because of the two girls, but truthfully, they had no direct involvement in causing the stress. I say no “direct” involvement, because it was, after all, their stroller that started it… (hehe go ahead, thammie…blame it on an innocent non-living thing!)
You see, we decided not to have the stroller checked in with the other luggages, thinking we would be needing it as our waiting time was quite long (international flight, three hours…). This was the case, so it actually was a good thing that we just surrendered it right before boarding the plane.
Upon arriving in Hongkong, Dennis thought that the stroller would already be in the baggage claim area. I thought otherwise. We were in a hurry (mainly because we were with my brother-in-law’s family and there was a van sent to pick us up) so Dennis sent me to stay and check where to get the stroller and to meet him in baggage claim number five. I agreed, and I went back to get the stroller. That took some time…I’m not really sure why, but it took them some time before they came back with the stroller. To add to that, Dennis had the claim stub with him so I had to convince them that the stroller was mine. Good thing I had Mika with me so I was very convincing. 
As I was on my way to our meeting place, I realized how long it has been since my last visit here! Everything was so unfamiliar all of a sudden. I had to make sure my reading comprehension in English was still in tact so I asked two airport personnel where Baggage claim number five was. They pointed me to the same place where the arrows and signs were pointed at. When I got there, however, Dennis and Alyanna were nowhere in sight….and all my documents were with them. I had to go through immigration to get to the baggage claim area, but how could I go through immigration without my passport??
It was I think twenty minutes (according to Dennis, but I’d say almost an hour!) of waiting for them, looking for them, and praying that God would remind Dennis that he had a wife and another daughter that he left behind. I asked if they had a paging system which I could use they said no… I asked two security officers what if Dennis had gone through immigration already would he be able to come back to get us they said no… I searched the area… I asked three more airport people to make sure if that area was the ONLY place that everyone who arrived would go through to get to the baggage claim area they said yes…I called four numbers of immigration offices to ask if a mister Dennis Sy had already gone through immigration,I had different answers since they didn’t really understand me…I asked this very accommodating airport ambassador Koko how old she was when she got her ears pierced she said 11…and I told her she should come see the Philippines, our airport is much less complicated (since it’s smaller) she said she would love to some time…but still, no Dennis and Alyanna.
This whole time I was praying…and saying to myself, “I will not let this stress me out.”
Just when I was about to dial the last number, my last hope of finding my love and my sweetheart, I saw this man with thick eyebrows coming towards me, all sweaty in spite of the air-conditioning, and with a little girl tailing behind him…
DENNIS!!!
“Koko! That’s my husband!! They found me!!”
….And then Dennis made this face…that look of frustration when someone lets you down. At that moment all my composure left me. I started to cry…and I started blaming him for making me cry. I said the way he looked at me made me feel like I didn’t try hard enough to find them. He said it was just a look of worry and concern and fear and relief all at the same time. Still…I had to blame someone for making me cry. Hehe… I guess I didn’t know what I was feeling either.
A few minutes later, we were okay. (okay so maybe it wasn’t a FEW minutes, but at least it was before we got to the hotel! )
Today we learned that you should never leave your partner behind– especially when you are both in a foreign country with no international roaming on your phones.
Better yet, you should both just get international roaming.
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I was browsing through some books earlier when I saw this in one of the devotionals: “Write at least a dozen nice things about yourself from your Heavenly Father’s perspective”. I paused and thought about it for a moment as I tried to come up with a list…
…………………The “moment” took longer than I thought…..and the list never came up! I was stuck. I knew I’ve done this before, when I would come up with a “godly” perspective about other people to encourage them and motivate them (and sometimes even so I could better understand them)…but today I was stuck. What was usually an easy thing to do for other people became quite difficult when it came to coming up with a list for myself.
Is this generally the case for most wives and moms (women)? Or is it just me?
…..Maybe with all the things I feel I have to think about daily, I just haven’t been able to turn on that part of my brain that was wired to think of these lovely things about myself…or maybe I was just trained this way, to not think of nice qualities about myself for fear that I would become proud. Hmm…. either way, it’s not a good thing. I need to start re-wiring and re-training my brain.
“Finally, brothers [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” -Philippians 4:8
I think THAT, combined with THIS:
“…Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”- Romans 12:3
…..it would be just the thing to help me come up with that list, and give thanks to my Father.
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Dennis and I had quite a day— Both of us had to be in Greenhills by noon because call time for the worship team (which I was a part of today) was 12:30, while Dennis also had to finalize everything for his preaching. The whole afternoon and night was work, ministry, work. We both had a great time serving God and the church today, but I was also looking forward to going home and just relaxing after a day’s work. I was looking forward to maybe a movie treat while muching on some snacks in the comfort of our bedroom (using a laptop, of course, since we don’t have TV in our bedroom anymore).
Can I just share this?? We were about to go upstairs just earlier tonight when Dennis and I got a very cute treat from our daughter, Alyanna. She saw her dad’s Bible on the coffeetable and started to open it……
ALYANNA: “I’m just going to preach to the people, okay?!” (With a very excited tone, both arms in a “Hi I’m Alyanna, I’m from quezon citeeeey!” gesture)
“Okay, everyone! Let’s just praise God….Let’s make God happy okay??” (one arm raised, as if asking for the people’s amen…of course, by “people” I mean, me and Dennis)
ALYANNA: *points to the Bible which was facing us, just as teachers do in storytelling time* “So, this is Jonah…and he said to the bad guy…to make Jesus happy, okay?”
(The Bible starts to slip off since it’s too big for her)
“Uh..I just need to get a table and a stage okay? wait….” *Puts her Bible on our coffeetable*
“Okay, mommy will sing and praise Jesus and then I’ll come back and preach after mommy worships God okay? Mommy sing!” (she calls me to the “stage”)
“Here mom! on the stage now…..worship God people!! Clap your hands!”
—-*clap!clap!*—-
“Okay, I’m just gonna preach but first everyone let’s watch this movie…” *walks off to the side and watches, just like the pastors do whenever a video starts to play*
———————-
“Okay, now the kids will be singing. They will wear a skirt just like a princess and then sing and dance and take a bow…Okay kids!” *calls the imaginary kids to the stage and walks over to the side so the kids can take the stage*
“Oh, they’re not yet starting because the teacher is still talking to someone…….oh, now they’re starting already!!”
……..”Okay, thank you kids!” *goes back to the center of the stage*
“I have a mic here, only one on my face okay?” (describes the kind of microphone her dad uses to preach)
“Okay, preaching time!…. God said to the kids….they will go to a princess store…..and they will go up and down but Jesus is still up and He’ll go down to the kids…..” (and she “expounds” on this topic, which I totally don’t get)
———this part is all jumbled up in my mind….all I get is a princess, a princess store, a castle, the kids’ skirts…..———-
“Oh no, the boy grabbed the toys and it’s broken and God said, Do not grab because if you grab it will get sira already….and God said we have to share our toys and if we don’t we will get a rod because we have to obey…..”
———and for another five minutes it was a series of mommy leading praise and worship, watching a movie clip, and Alyanna preaching again——
“Okay, let’s pray. *Raises one arm up towards the people* “Lord, thank you for those that will eat food, and then after mom sings, we’ll eat already our snacks, okay? Amen.”
————————-
Alyanna never fails to amuse us…and amaze us. Just when we thought that our kids don’t pay attention in big church (what we’ve coined our adult service), they do this!
PS: video to follow
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I was having a peaceful time reading my Bible when I heard Alyanna whining and demanding for something in the other room. At that moment, I was tempted to ignore her and thought, it’s supposed to be my “quiet” time with God, anyway. A few seconds later, however, I just knew I couldn’t go on with this alone time if I did not deal with her behavior right away.
I called her into my room and asked what was wrong. She continued to use her whining tone despite my reminder of the consequences that tone would bring about. She was whining because she wanted to wear a hair clip. I’ve told her a few times before to wait until her hair was dry before wearing one, so this time I reminded her again. She then told me she did not want to obey. As petty as the issue at hand was, I had to deal with her heart so I disciplined her.
Usually, Alyanna would apologize, change her tone, and decide to obey after I discipline her–but this time, she didn’t. Instead, she looked at me and said, “I still don’t like to obey.”
This was not the Alyanna I’ve come to know, so I asked her why she was willing to get the rod from whining, just so she could have her way and wear that clip. She then started crying and said “I have to wear a clip so I can be beautiful! Because I want to be beautiful!”
In my mind, “WHAT?!? You’re three years old!! When I was your age……..I couldn’t even remember how things were when I was your age!” ……..I decided to take this as a teachable moment.
ME: “Alyanna, do you think wearing a nice hair clip is what would make you beautiful?
ALYANNA: *sobs* “yes!”
ME: “Sweetheart, you know what? Even now that your hair is messy and still wet, I find you beautiful. You have to know it’s not what’s on your hair that makes you beautiful; it’s what’s in your heart–that’s what makes you beautiful. Do you understand?”
ALYANNA: *nods*
ME: *relieved that she got my point* “Okay Alyanna, let’s just fix your hair later when it’s dry okay?”
ALYANNA: “Okay…..” *smiling at this point* “Mom, can I wear my new dress nalang??”
ME: *thinking of the laundry–soap, water, time, effort…plus the wear on the new dress if she used it to play around…plus it was too hot and I was sure she’d get all sweaty as soon as she put on that dress* “Why? We’re not going out…”
ALYANNA: “Mom, because I want to be beautiful!”
ME: *withdrew from the place of relief* “Sweetheart, you know even if you’re wearing worn-out clothes, I still see you as beautiful! You know why? Because it’s not what you wear that makes you beautiful, it’s what’s in your heart. What makes you beautiful is if you have a heart that makes God smile. Do you understand?”
ALYANNA: “Yes, mom…but can I wear my new dress? I want to look beautiful!”
ME: *thinking: naku you better not be like this when you’re sixteen!*….. “Okay, love, but you have to know once you wear that it’ll be hot and you can not complain. You’re okay with that?”
ALYANNA:*excited* “Yes!”
…So off she goes to get her outfit. As I was putting it on her, she was beaming with excitement and when we were finally done, she asked me, “Mom, Am I beautiful??”
—————-
Amazing…this three-year old is already craving for someone to assure her that she’s beautiful.
I want to make sure she grows up knowing that she is– not because of the clothes that she would wear, nor the hair accessories she would put on…but because she would have a heart that honors God. I want to raise her up and guide her towards becoming that beautiful lady God has destined her to be–not just by teaching her how to dress well, but by training her to live a life that would make her Heavenly Father smile.
—————-
PS: Now, when I ask her “What makes you beautiful?” She gives me two answers: one, “If I smile.”, and two, “If I have a heart that makes God smile.” ….So far I say we’re on the right track.
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